*Jiggly is Tired: A Series Sans Sleep

[Jiggly_333]

It has literally been over a year since the last time I did one of these and oh fuck, the first version of this came out in July of 2018. That is so fucking long ago. Like, there are many things from then that are very different:

- Obviously, pre-Panda Bear
- I was still trying to be a journalist
- Dermo was the commish at the time
- Most importantly: I WASN'T A WEEB YET!

That's right, that is pre-weeb Jiggly days back then. You may ask, "If he didn't use anime girls, then what did he post gifs of?" Well, I posted gifs of real people and had specific "Cute Girls" that I'd use. A lot of the reason people don't like me probably spawned from that. Understandable. Even back in that first Series Sans Sleep article, I had to keep answering for myself as to why I kept making female characters.



I am not going to take credit for being the first person to make a female character, that was actually @ErMurazor with the multi Jazzy J, who somehow wasn't removed from the league after being outed as a multi and subsequently became the sixth overall draft pick in DSFL history, look it up. But what I will say is that when I wanted to make a lesbian wide receiver, I did have in mind that I hoped at some point I would have at least done the hard part of being "the weird one" to make those who follow more comfortable to be themselves and not be pressured into making a generic football man. I don't think that I did that, but whatever. I'm here to actually talk about how I was a trailblazer for weebs in this league.



Originally, back in S1, weebs weren't uncommon. In fact, there was a joke that the reason the Outlaws were winning the Ultimus was because they all had anime profile pictures. Then later we found out it was because of the multis, but that's a whole other thing. But the point is that weebs weren't really seen as a people in this league. It was a couple kids who liked Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul or some other edgy shit that I still refuse to watch, but nothing too noticeable. There were no anime renders and, as mentioned, there were a few spare anime avatars. But things changed in November of 2018 when some kid named @YoungTB kept posting the same fucking character. I'd recently watched a really obscure anime called Princess Nine and thought "Maybe I'll give anime another try," so I asked him about that character and what show they were from. And then, things were set into motion that could not be stopped:



Pretty soon, I was watching a fuckton more anime. To this point now, my MAL page says that I've watched 39.3 days of anime and read 34.0 days of manga. I've legit done actual school projects in college/film school on anime and have spoken to my career counselor at school about how to get into the anime industry (he did not help, but whatever). But the point is that I really started posting anime shit to the point that we actually got an anime channel in the main discord. I do not know if it's still there, I haven't been there in a while (for good reason). And then teams started adding anime channels. And then users started using anime characters as renders. I don't think that I was the first to have an anime render, it would be absolutely horrifying if it took until Mai Fukushuu for there to be an anime render, but I do know that with my unashamed use of anime I made a lot of people more comfortable with being themselves (and a lot of other people uncomfortable, but I'm here to help the little guy).



Anyway, that was just the prologue. I'm here to actually talk about the recent Draft.

So, I was thinking earlier in the day that I didn't really have any personal connection to Kawai Bartok. It's something that I've had a problem with before. If I don't have a clear vision for a character, that character falls flat. Fukushuu and Atwell had character in my mind and even @TakaMori152 had character (multiple characters). But I've barely given Bartok anything and I just can't get myself into it if I don't have anything to work with.

The draft has changed things.

Going into the draft, I was nervous? Which is weird because I knew that I was going to be picked next last probably and I haven't actually cared about where I'm taken in the draft since... I don't think ever. Now that I think about it: Leroy was in a very chaotic S1 draft, Tegan was a 2nd round GM pick, I did the draft presentation for Rosie so I knew beforehand, and Fukushuu I knew that I had already blasted my reputation long ago. But for some reason, I'm always nervous before the draft. And this time it was the same, despite however much I wanted to deny myself that feeling. As I said, I was planning on retiring within a couple seasons hoping to collect a paycheck and come back with a more dedicated character. Why was I nervous?



I watched the draft all the way through. I remembered that there were multiple GMs that I accidentally ghosted because I was in the middle of finals when they sent me scouting DMs and I just forgot to get back to them. But one person that I knew I spoke to was the GM of the Silverbacks. ... Okay, I may have spoken to a couple of GMs then. Anyway, the important one was that I'd spoken to @TheCC, which was a conversation that started with me saying "I want to play for Chicago."

I am way too loyal of a person. In the age of people getting cancelled, I'm very awkward about it because I care about the art created. (Fun trick that I learned: Since Hatsune Miku can technically say anything as a vocaloid, you can attribute any quote from a problematic person to her so you can keep the quote without the harmful person attached.) Anyway, that also means that I'm stupid loyal about sim teams. In the PBE, I love the Providence Crabs. I have a literal hat now that I wear constantly. Even in the SHL, which I haven't played a single game in the proper SHL since before this writing series started, I still have an affinity for the San Francisco Pride. Even if the GM of that team let me go undrafted. It's gotten to a point that true loyalty to me is if you go against all logic and draft me, someone who lowers the prestige of your team by even looking at your LR.



So it's obvious that I am so extremely loyal to the Chicago Butchers. This team, no joke, was made for me. Go ask @Oles, he's even said that he pretty much just took all my ideas for branding and submitted them as his Expansion Team. And I have fought for this team for years now since its creation. I like to make the joke in the Butcher LR every once in a while whenever the idea of rebranding comes up that "I fought and died for this club." Because I did. I put everything I had into keeping that team around at the cost of any good-will that I'd built up for myself. I think that the stress of those 72 hours or so took something off of my lifespan. And the saddest part of it was that I felt that I couldn't go back.

Back when I returned with Fukushuu, I DM'd Muf and Bayley that I didn't think it was right for me to go back to Chicago so soon after everything that had happened. They took me off their draft board and so everyone's mock drafts were ruined. But my reason was that if I went right back, it'd feel like I'd done exactly what everyone said I did, that I only wanted to take the team for myself and grab power. Going back, I probably would've been offered a spot in the War Room. That's not narcissism, that's just logic with the way that Bayley actually held me in pretty high regard for what I did. People often forget that I didn't do the Soviet Yunyun thing on my own, there were a couple other people involved. I just sorta played the role of the lightning rod that took all the damage so that the team would survive.



What @Muford and @Bayley did with the team was incredible and even if they still haven't won an Ultimus, I'm so proud of them for taking the chance I gave them and digging that team out of the fucking hole it was in. And now, about a year and a half after the Soviet Yunyun, I'm finally coming back home. It's something that, despite my near inability to do so, brought me very close to tears a couple times tonight.



Something big that I wanted to do with this character, not in-character, but out of it, was that I wanted to finally reconcile things with a lot of people. I've tried reaching out to a few to very little luck. I came back for the old people, but I didn't think that I'd find people that I could actually consider new friends. Since joining the Ducks locker room, there were a few people there that I genuinely loved talking to and kept me coming back into the server to see if they said anything so I could talk with them. Being drafted by Chicago, I've now noticed why they might be so great. They're on Chicago. Please, allow me to shout them out:

@Painted welcomed me into Minnesota with open arms and the clean slate that I desperately desired. Every step of the way, he and @IceBear32 have been understanding and helpful, and they've also built a pretty damn good LR. I'm working on making him a weeb.

I think that I had some sort of beef with @Sermokala a while back, but it's gone at this point. He's one of the few people who will understand my MLS references as well as a lot of anime references. I don't know if he intended it this way, but he told me something to the effect of "as long as he's a GM in a league, his team will always have a place for me." As someone who's gone undrafted or been drafted out of pity so many times, that means so much more to me than anything someone's said in the replies of some of my more depressing media pieces.



Finally, @thevoicelesscreator, who is probably one of the most genuine and caring people I've met in this league. I've said that about a few people before, but they haven't spoken to me in a year and a half, so don't fuck it up this time. She is probably the person I have the most fun talking to because it gives me an excuse to talk about yuri anime and my absurd views on writing theory. Very accessible and also very willing and open to putting some of the truly weird trash that I suggest on her list of things to watch (though we all know what happens to those sort of lists). Anyone who's taken the time to read Beautiful Eleven, even if it's just the first volume, is a good person in my book. Not Beautiful Eleven though, I don't write friends into my books. I am always happy to see you posted something in the Ducks LR and I hope that sort of thing continues in the Chicago LR.

There were also a ton of old friends in Chicago. I've known Muf and @Aenir since I was in high school. And while she might not have warm and fuzzy feelings about me, I have technically known @enigmatic for a very long time and we've been in multiple leagues together. Same with Oles who has gone from a bit of an adversary in early league history to being probably my biggest defender and one of the few people I trust (so much that I trusted him with the secret of Taka). Then there's @Starboy who I actually got decently close with in Baltimore before shit went down there (Weebs together strong). Also, there's CC, who I could've mentioned earlier, but I just know that I've known them for a while. I think that I've landed in the best possible place for me in this league.

Going forward, I'm still going to have the same problems I had going into the draft:
- I'm going to be super busy for the next week and a half working on anime girl shit
- I'm then going to be super busy working on a screenplay to submit for a scholarship
- And then after that, I obviously will then have to go back to classes when those start back up
- Also, I still have no clue what kind of person Bartok is and she's also got a bit of a TPE deficiency if I want her to be great

But, I'm just happy that I got to go back somewhere that I feel wanted and loved. The past few times I've done one of these, I ended with the send-off of "I think this might be my last one." But I guess that I've found a reason to have optimism this time. This sounds like a real bad death flag, so I'm gonna stop now.



And as usual, there's the secret bonus of clicking on all the links in the article to find some cool music that I've totally been listening to and not just the CHILLAF hour long chill rap mixes.

Also, because I don't think enough people saw these, I was looking back on some of the stuff I've written in this league and there's gold there. Check out this re-writing of a classic Carl Sandburg poem and this story in retirement that I'd sorta thought was going to be my last post as Jiggly on the site. They are really well-written, imo, and I don't think enough people read them. That's a film student there. Also, bonus resignation announcement as Butchers GM from November 2019 that explains a lot about who I am in this league. Man, I didn't leave that team in good hands, but I'm sure glad I did well the second time.

<3 Jiggly

[Raven]

Originally, back in S1, weebs weren't uncommon. In fact, there was a joke that the reason the Outlaws were winning the Ultimus was because they all had anime profile pictures. Then later we found out it was because of the multis, but that's a whole other thing. But the point is that weebs weren't really seen as a people in this league. It was a couple kids who liked Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul or some other edgy shit that I still refuse to watch, but nothing too noticeable.

Wow rude >:|

Good luck with this player Jiggly, hope you can give them a story soon!

[Jimi64]

Nice

[Jiggly_333]

Originally, back in S1, weebs weren't uncommon. In fact, there was a joke that the reason the Outlaws were winning the Ultimus was because they all had anime profile pictures. Then later we found out it was because of the multis, but that's a whole other thing. But the point is that weebs weren't really seen as a people in this league. It was a couple kids who liked Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul or some other edgy shit that I still refuse to watch, but nothing too noticeable. 

Wow rude >:|

Good luck with this player Jiggly, hope you can give them a story soon!

You were the only early NSFL weeb that had good taste.

[thevoicelesscreator]

Thank you for the kind words <3