(S35) PT 5 - Locker Room Incident

[ZootTX]

There was just a fight in the Wraiths locker room. Of course it was between two of the wide receivers, those guys are a bunch of divas. Also they like to bully the tight end on the rare occasion we actually have one on the roster. Anyway, that old fogey Kai Sakura got all bent out of shape about the color of the sky or the weather in Slovenia or something and our other old fogey, Mark Walker told him to cut it out and that he was tired of listening to him complain about stupid stuff. Thankfully, due to their advanced age, it was mostly a verbal altercation and within a few minutes they both forgot what they were mad about with each other and went back to being mad at the world together. Which is good because either one could have a career ending injury with their brittle old-man bones. Mostly the team ignored them since this happens on occasion and peters out into nothing every time.

169 words

[Repgnar]

After a rough week for the Minnesota Grey Ducks the drama continued this week during practice. Although the defense allowed 44 and 42 points in their last two games there were no signs of an issue brewing in the defensive unit. That all changed though when Teemo Swift was spotted slapping Bonzi Buddy during a lull in practice. Teammates were quick to separate the players, but the news spread quickly through out the league especially on social media. During player interviews afterwards Teemo Swift stated that Bonzi had cheated in an International Simulation Football League Fantasy Football League the team has every season. Buddy was quoted as saying “Unfortunate situation. Kind of stemmed from a fantasy football league we both are in this year.” While the players didn’t elaborate on the specific issue both players were seen talking amicably by the end of the day. Minnesota’s General Manager Painted said that the issue was resolved in house and no one from Minnesota would be talking about it further. While there is a chance the League Head Office may act as a physical altercation took place, league sources believe that the issue shouldn’t see Teemo Swift serving a suspension.

198 Words

[WhatAmUs]

Blibby Shpoopy has been in numerous fights before, and he has literally lost all of them.  He has a chin made of glass, and the reaction time of a newly born duckling.  This, however, has never stopped him from getting in the middle of a good scrap.  As a mild tussle broke out in the Birddogs locker room, Blibby saw an opportunity to take a relatively benign shoving match and turn it into a straight up brawl.  He threw himself into the quarreling parties like a wrestler coming in from the top rope, and all heck broke loose.  In his mind he thought "if I can get them to unite against a common enemy, then they'll forget their beef and instead focus on turning me into a steamy bowl of blood soup".  Surprisingly, this worked, and everything was super cool after that.  The coach commended Blibby on his quick thinking and diplomatic skills, and subsequently reprimanded him to the tune of 30 laps and a hefty fine from the league office.

[hotdog]

There was a big fight in the Arizona Outlaws locker room over the weekend stemming from a prank played on young tight end Herc Kirkby. Someone stole Kirkby's clothes and towel while he was in the shower so he had to leave the shower and run around looking for his clothes while everyone looked at his pasty behind and tiny little pecker. Kirkby was not a good sport about this since he is ashamed of his tiny pecker @Acsolap so he wound up getting really madge. He asked around to see if anyone knew who did this, but no one seemed to know. Former players and assistant coaches Deadly Memes and DB Jadakiss tried to calm the situation and were eventually able to get through to the tiny-peckered tight end but not before he threw a full tantrum. In actuality, it was franchise legends and long-time Arizona pranksters Chuck Roth and Rich Triplet who orchestrated the prank - Kirkby has no grounds to be madge at legends like that, so he'll just have to suck it up and eat this one!

[Urq660]

The San Jose Sabrecats’ locker room is usually a pretty chill place, everyone vibing, getting along, having a good time. The pressure of an unexpected and unlikely run at the playoffs (yes, it’s still mathematically possible, sue me) has ratcheted up the tension among the players. Yes, this is a franchise with a couple of Ultimus wins in their fairly recent history, but the majority of the current roster were still in college, including British Cornerback Gibson, who was minding his own business, when a discussion behind him in the locker room got a bit heated. It was star TE Deshawn Penne and top Safety Orpheus Czargyros, arguing over what the elite food for carb loading was. Penne was squarely on the side of a nice pasta, preferably tubular, with a nice sauce. Czargyros, however, prefers a nice doughy bagel, preferably onion flavoured. The high pressure environment managed to turn a simple disagreement into a shoving match, which was quickly broken up by the other Sabrecats before they could come to blows!

[slothfacekilla]

Hmm I am a bit surprised to hear that there has been a locker room incident in Tijuana because the Luchadores are usually super tight in there and I definitely did not notice anything go down.  But maybe somehow Mikey is the reason behind this because he has gotten his carries significantly reduced by the coaching staff.  So I think I am going to blame Mikey for this locker room scuffle and I am hoping that he responds by being a better person and player moving forward for the team.  I think the team will be fine, we have a great roster and a great coaching staff and we have been seeing those results so far this season.  Breezy has been killing it with more touches and we just have so many offensive weapons that I think we can overcome this little scuffle that Mikey created.  I don't think there should be any more issues moving forward this season and maybe Mikey will get called up so he can't start more fights!

172 words

[JustCloud]

The Kansas City Coyotes locker room, though generally a nice space filled with camaraderie its not without its faults. As of recent there has been an unidentified individual not flushing the toilet. We are not talking just a 'if it is yellow let it mellow' situation. It IS brown and they are NOT flushing it down. It has not been a one time instance, there is a serial dumper in this locker room and its got a lot of us on edge. Its been discussed in team meetings and yet the poo persists appearing. I mean the obvious solution would be to have a automated flushing mechanism. That being said we may have to wait another year for that locker room update on the account we just got bidets this last season. Until then Im at a loss, it is really taking a toll on our mental well being. I don't know who you are or what your motives are but it is not okay.

165 words

[RockbotRockbo]

Recently, there has been a fight in the Minnesota locker room when the offensive and defensive coordinators got heated during our losses to Dallas and Bondi Beach this season. The offensive coordinator, Sir Quacks a-lot, was livid that the defense didn’t do a good job vs Dallas and the defensive coordinator Beek a-Boo was livid that the offense did not score enough points vs. Bondi Beach. The OC wanted the defense to toughen up like hard boiled eggs while the DC wanted the offense to be explosive like fire-quackers. My player had to remind both coordinators that this is sometimes how the game goes. We both want our team to win, and sometimes the offense helps the defense while the defense helps out the offense. Some days, it will be the defense’s responsibility to help the offense while on other days, it will be the offense’s responsibility to help out the defense. That is just how the game rolls. Both units roll out for the next game vs. Tijuana, where the offense and defense sync up to provide a quality win and both units forget about their quarrels.

WC:188

[Alcott]

Things have been a little on edge in the locker room for the Colorado Yeti lately. After a miserable last place effort the season before, the team was supposed to have a big free agency to lock down their old and underperforming defense to allow the young franchise QB and the explosive offense to really get things into a new gear and take over the league. Unfortunately the free agency period turned out to be a bust and the Yeti had to sacrifice some of their offensive fire power to sure up the holes on the defense, resulting in another sad excuse for a season that is destined for a second straight first overall draft pick. Cole Maxwell has been on the team long enough to remember when they made the Ultimus so he feels the disappointment as well, but has never really been a vocal leader for the team. After the fight happened Cole turned to the GM and explained they can't keep moving at the current pace or things would never improve, they either needed a big ofseason or this ship wasn't going to be turning around for another few years, and then he slowly strode out of the room and back home to wait and see what came of his team.

[XaveValor]

You would not believe it, Jarvis finally went after Stevie, our kicker. Jarvis had been muttering about sacrifices and how hlood must be spilled, but I never thought he would act on it! The fight was short lived as Stebie quickly surrendered once Jarvis moved the earth beneath his feet. The team reaction though was yo simply watch and stare. 

If we're honest, no one wants to get in the way of Jarvis and for good reason. Whenever we say we have "heart" on this team, we arr talking about Jarvis. He has 4 in his locker at all times. Stevie was just not trying to be the fifth! So we gave them room and the team doctor was on call though even she knows that she has nothing in her kit for burns from hellfire. After the initial scuffle, we all just went back to our business. Before long Stevie was kicking field goals better than ever and Jarvis took that rage and channeled it into our games. Not a bad outcome!