(S36) Offseason Task

[Accka]

31. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE/WSBL. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this Offseason Task. And you may only use a max of 1.
- PBE Affil. https://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/...t&p=464954

22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (Written Task)
- Maan, I'd get some strippers up in this bitch and yeah we're talking about male strippers. Some poledancers. Polkadancers too? Get some sorta barn up in this bitch aswell and get some old country people dancing in there.
I'd get umm, Germ, The suicideboys, some Frank Sinatra sounding guy, Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran and some other singers too. Literally doesn't what genre of music they play, just get em in there and let everyone have some fun. We'd get that kid that was step dancing and yodeling, what was his name, Yodeling Kid? Get him on the stage too for a hour solo. And to show some bias, I'd get some gorillas in there too. Maybe fighting gorillas, like they box each other? With gloves ofcourse, don't want any animal abuse charges. Or maybe a gorilla band? Gorillaz? But they're all actually gorillas and not like those fake bastards that are humans.
Last but not least, we'll have a bingo contest. Everyone in the arena has to enter it and the winner gets a GTR. (wc 176)

23. Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a one of the league's stars. (Graphic Task)
-





TPE: 7.5/10

[gucci]

When it comes to the Mount Rushmore of the Dallas Birddogs, as the George Washington figure of that franchise, I could put myself on there, but I’ll opt not to for these purposes and so I can hand out some accolades to others. This may end up being a controversial response, but here goes nothing. Trudging my way to 600 words.

Let’s start with the Robin to my Batman, the Chip to my Dale, the Halfsquat to my Tugg Speedman in Dallas’s first season, @Kyle. When it comes to great co-GMs and locker room culture creators, it was hard to do better than the man simply known as Kyle. He offset my strengths well with his own unique strengths, and lacked my weaknesses such as my tendency to start beef with opposing GMs or embrace controversial characters like Big Edd or AC. It would be a few seasons before Kyle ever played for the Birddogs, but there’s no arguing that his biggest contributions came off the field as a very good GM and consistent locker room presence since day 1. His face would be the most prominent on here.

Individual number two would probably be my successor as GM, and Kyle’s partner, @iStegosauruz. He was originally a very late pick in the famed season 21 draft. One of the shot in the dark picks who had earned some TPE but wasn’t exactly what you’d call an active rookie in the pre-draft period. I think he went somewhere in the 140s in that draft, with a pick given away by another member of this list. iSteg developed into one of the top earning players in the DSFL that season, and his contributions to the ISFL, amassing a large sim league fortune while reviving the Offensive Line position and creating a casino, is still relevant to this day. The next year he would become the first ISFL #1 overall pick from the Dallas Birddogs as the Austin Poopsneks took his player, Colt Mendoza, to play there. As a GM, he drafted many of the top players in Birddog history and continued the legacy of drafting well once ISFL legend, Lim, took over for Kyle as iSteg’s partner.

That does it for GMs on the list, next up is probably the most decorated player in Birddogs history. @Big Edd. A player who is as much myth as he is man. Big Edd was a constant source of controversy off the field and a certified hall of fame caliber player on it. Is he immature, yes. Did he request a trade from every team he played for? Oh yeah, he absolutely did, but as another of the last picks of season 24, Big Edd is another who grew into one of the most dominant players this league has ever seen. He won at least 4 DT/DL of the year awards, Ultimuses, pro bowls, you name it, Edd has dozens of them. The most impressive part is he did this with all of the annoying boomer stick up their butt users suppressing his brazen Gen-Z-ness. Edd marched to the beat of his own drum and pissed a lot of people off on his way to a legendary career. If that doesn’t deserve respect, I don’t know what else does.

Last up is the man who played the greatest role in building the Dallas franchise of anyone. The guy who provided Kyle and I with the picks to draft star users such as @ZootTX, @Big Edd, @hexify, and @iStegosauruz as well as Dallas’s first Hall of Famer, Gimmy Jarropolo. Yes, I mean @Air Crou. The current QB of the Dallas Birddogs who has played for them as a receiver in the past as well. I first met this guy in Norfolk in season 14 (Feb, 2019) and he’s been around helping to build the league since them. Lots of people who are great users just missed this list and will probably roll their eyes at me, but here we are in season 35, and when I go into the Dallas locker room, AC is always one of the first people I see in there. He’s been around for a long time, made the most impactful trade in team history because he wanted to sleep, and has had 2 players lace up for the team already. I can’t think of anyone more deserving.

Congrats to all who made the list, I’m sorry to those who didn’t, you’re great too, nothing personal.

[BRNXB0MBERS]

OT Pass

[Twenty6]

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 150+ words or a graphic)
15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland.

In football, the MVP award never really felt right with me due to the sport leaning so heavily toward the team aspect.  Being forced to choose, though, I would select RB Cobra Kai.  He was an unstoppable force, getting 6 yards per carry on 27 carries.  Heck, he had more rushing opportunities than his quarterback had throwing attempts.  Kai's speed and elusiveness were assets during his celebratory trip to Disneyland.  First off, since he didn't need to buy tickets, he barreled through the turnstiles at the front gate, leaving all the entitled season pass holders in a huff.  Inside the park, he went non-stop from ride to ride.  He stiff-armed other visitors in line to force his way to the front.  Once the operator let him on the ride, Kai always ran to the first car or the front seat.  His favorite ride was Splash Mountain because the water reminded him of Honolulu.  During the middle of the day when he got hungry, he stuffed his gullet with cotton candy, churros, and Mountain Dew.  Kai had a blast, but once he left, Disney's corporate office sent an e-mail to Honolulu's front office saying that Kai was no longer welcome at the park.  

[202 words]

---

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 150+ words or a graphic)
20. Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, or highlights.

Ignatius Reilly, the starting MLB of the London Royals, is a beast.  This guy has a motor that just will not quit, and this is proven by the 121 tackles he got last season, tying with Kevin McThumper as the #1 tackler for S35.  Once he got his mitts on you, you were very likely to go down, as he only missed 4 tackles.  That is a 96.8% tackle rate.  He has occasionally even found himself in the opponent's backfield, earning 5 TFLs and 1 sack.  For a linebacker of his size, he has great speed and excellent agility.  When Reilly had to play coverage, he was serviceable and able to bat down 5 passes on 56 targets.  His opponents were able to catch 34 of those targets, however.  Despite this, Reilly did not give up the big play and was generally able to keep the receiver in front of him.

[151 words]

---

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 150+ words or a graphic)
25. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why?

Safety is my favorite position in football, which is why I chose it as my first ever player.  Last season, I said that I would love to try a Coverage LB or a Possession TE due to their Jack-of-all-trades nature.  After experiencing a full season in the league, my mind has been somewhat changed regarding this.  While I still would not mind playing LB or TE, lately I've been leaning toward DT.  A DT doesn't fill up the stat sheet, but they play an important role of engaging blockers so that their teammates can thrive.  I personally prefer playing the role of the unsung hero than being in the spotlight.  From the three DT archetypes, I would obviously go for All-Purpose because it's right in the name.  All-Purpose is the same as Jack-of-all-trades.  I feel Nose Tackles are a little too slow, and Interior Rushers are more the spotlight type of DT, so All-Purpose is the perfect middle ground for me.

[161 words]

---

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 150+ words or a graphic)
31. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE/WSBL. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this Offseason Task. And you may only use a max of 1.

WSBL Affiliate

[Greenbaynathan]

offseason tsk pass

[nunccoepi]

OT Pass

[BOOM™]

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 150+ words or a graphic)
Choose up to FOUR for 2.5 TPE each.


19. Graphic Option: Create the cover art for your player’s show 



23. Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a one of the league's stars. (Graphic Task) 



28. Graphic Option: Create a graphic showcasing the logo, name, location, and colors of your team. 



31. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE/WSBL. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this Offseason Task. And you may only use a max of 1.

PBE Affiliate

[Pvtpenne]

OT Pass

[domffl]

28. Personal bias aside, I genuinely believe that the best location for an ISFL expansion team would be Birmingham, Alabama. Birmingham has been the home of multiple sports teams across a plethora of major and minor leagues. While only a few of these teams have stuck it out for more than a few seasons, there is definitely a reason that so many teams try to make it work. There is an untapped potential in the sports market in Birmingham. All it would take is a few "star" players that are University of Alabama or Auburn University alumni to set the Birmingham fanbase on fire with passion. The South has primarily been dominated by college sports, but that can quickly change in just a few short seasons of the exciting ISFL football. Besides, if Yellowknife can support a professional club consistently, then why can't Birmingham, who has a much higher population and thriving economy. +2.5


26. Often times, the minor leagues for professional football is meme'd and rarely are they taken seriously. But, they have also often adopted helpful rule changes that are beneficial for the game of football and should be introduced into the ISFL. One of these such rules is the current USFL rule for the extra point after a touchdown. There are three options for a team to choose from after they score a touchdown: 1. a one point kick from the 15-yard line; 2. a two point score by crossing the goal line in one play from the 2-yard line; 3. a three point score by crossing the goal line in one play from the 10-yard line. While it may seem rather insignificant by the scarcity teams will likely take the chance for a three point extra point play, it gives more hope to teams on the comeback and allows teams that are down late to make as many significant efforts as possible to catch up. The current scoring system is too one-dimensional and predictable. +2.5



14. The Minnesota Grey Ducks season was...underwhelming, to say the least. The sim gods did not find favor in our sacrifices this past offseason. I mean, Minnesota wasn't a perfect team on paper, but we certainly weren't as bad as our record portrayed us to be. For all of our rigorous sim testing and tweaking our gameplay to make the best matchup possible, we would still lose the games that should have been cakewalks for us. Our front office and captains would meet every week and test more than 1,000 games, but we would consistently lose the "easy" games that our testing predicted we should have won. As head-scratching as all of that might be, something that made our testing and seasonal outlook even more of a headache was that we also continued to win the games that we absolutely should not have. Dear reader, you've likely heard the phrase "sim's gonna sim." Well, let me tell you that you do not truly know the meaning of those words until you take a closer look upon the stats of Minnesota's s35 season. In order to make sure that we put ourselves in as positive a situation as possible heading into s36, we have hit the ground running on scouting to make sure we fill the holes on the defensive side of the ball. We had a lot of defensive rookies this past year who are now close to hitting the cap. We might have been hit with some bad sims this year, but we've saved up all that sim karma to unleash on the sim full force during s36. Assuming we have no active call-ups, we will have a completely capped QB, RB, WR, DE, CB, and S. The future is bright in Minnesota. Keep the Grey Ducks on your mind when creating your betting slips for this season. +5

[KaleSalad]

Tier 1, Prompt 2. 

So when looking at the Season 33 draft class it would look like it’s a small class that has not had much of an impact yet but it is anything but that! There are multiple Players from the draft that are entering into their prime years and taking major steps at taking over as the leaders on their teams. Oddly enough it was the Orange County otters that ended up with 5 draft picks from this draft class that have all now taken on pivotal roles with the Otters now. Zane Cold took over this season as the teams starting running back and helped lead the team back to the playoffs after missing them the previous year. Since being called up his first Season Gus Bus has continued to get better each season and was arguably the best Full Back in the league this season. Koivu has also became a household name playing having a breakout year this year and looking to continue to build on it. The Turtle Brothers have locked down the D line as well for the otters and continue to make an impact each season. Raph making a major impact this year was really the heart of the D line. Also on the D side of the ball there are many more from this draft class that are making an impact for their teams. Videl Valor as a linebacker for New York Silverback has recorded some impressive seasons. He has now completed 3 seasons with New York and has started all 48 games, and accumulated 283 Tackles, 11 TFL 4/3 FF/FR, 15 Sacks, 4 INT, and 3 Defensive TD’s. What an incredible career he has had thus far and we are only expecting him to keep building on this. King Zeus has also been an impact player both contributing from Special Teams and on the Defensive end this physical corner. Though his special teams hasn’t really taken off yet and he has put up some decent numbers on the D side. In 34 Games started and 48 games played Zeus has put up 161 Tackles, 2 FF, 3 Sacks, 4 INT, 38 PD. The numbers don’t seem to really jump out but with this past season being the first one getting all 16 game starts I believe these numbers will only get better. Next we will look at The second DE that was taken in the draft with Daron Arnold. After spending an extra season down in order to sharpen up his skills he has been up with the Yellow Knife Wraiths and earned his role as a starter. With 32 games played, all being starts, he has been able to put up great numbers. 84 Tackles, 11 TFL, 3/2 FF/FR, 11 Sacks, and 1 Safety. He has taken over as the heart of the pass rush on the Wraiths D and looks to be a main part of their defense for years to come. I realize now that I am getting boring pushing out the stats of these players so lets do some rapid fire of who is left, Kahn Cussion playing Linebacker Also for the Wraiths as added a strength to the middle of the defense and made the team a force to be reckoned with. The Stig has taken over as a top RB in in New Orleans Second Line and Really doing all the jobs for them. If his current trend is to hold you are looking at one if not the top RB of the league for years to come. I know I am missing out a lot of others from this draft class but the more I look into it the more there is to write because everyone of these people that are still active are hitting the stride of taking over the starting roles and becoming the number 1 at their positions on their teams and in the league. This draft class had a lot of Defensive players and it will be interesting to see which ones of them will be the first to take home some awards for the top of their position.

WC:685