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36. Affiliate PT
SHL
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32. Your player has decided to start a podcast...
Danny Nedelko would start Danny Nedelko's Balanced Diet - a podcast on attaining and maintaining the optimum physique for a high performance athlete who wants to be strong as an ox, vascular, and able to pose with the best bodybuilders on the planet.
On the main podcast he would talk to all kinds of lying fitness influencers who swear by eating raw liver, or three ice baths a day, or whatever the hell people on steroids lie and say these days. Lots of diet tips, lots of conflicting advice on repetitions and weight, that sort of thing. Total unmitigated rubbish.
Then, he would have a Patreon where subscribers would get the real podcast - Balanced Diet: The Juice. This would be wall to wall talk about gear. Know the difference between a testosterone cycle and a deca/dianabol cycle? Ever wondered if primobolan or clenbuterol is better for cutting weight? He's got you covered.
As Nedelko always says "tiny balls just make your junk look bigger".
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33. The bad branding one...
It looks like you're rebranding a football team.
Would you like help?
x Make your mascot a purple rhino with major clipart vibes
Just do the branding without help
Oh yes - that's the Office Assistant from Windows 98, officially known as Clippit - but Clippy in all our hearts - suggesting what he always did. How to fuck up something that you are trying to accomplish with an office package. In this case it appears that the then Philadelphia Liberty GMs were using an old version of Windows and may actually have taken the advice of our favourite dumb paperclip.
There are tired logos in the ISFL (hey Colorado) and logos that don't fit the brand very well (that's still a marlin, Sarasota) but man that rhino. And the nickname, and the location. American Football is, of course, huge in South Africa... lol. The league only put the Inter- on the front of the NSFL to stop being deluged by alt right weasels, and now that's used as a justification for the Cape Town location. It sucks.
*All of the above was written for TPE, don't @ me angry rhinos.*
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21. If your player had a show starring them...
In his own show, Danny Nedelko would play a rugged private investigator named Jack Hammer. Jack is a no-nonsense kind of guy, known for his tough demeanour, sharp instincts and massive biceps. He runs his own detective agency, taking on cases that others wouldn't dare to touch - often working pro-bono for people in need.
However, as Jack dives deeper into each case, he finds himself drawn to the charismatic and mysterious suspects that cross his path. The show would explore the tension between Jack's tough exterior and his inner desires, as he navigates through a world filled with danger, intrigue and the allure of moustachioed criminals. With its mix of action, mystery, and clumsily handled (and very poorly acted) homoerotic undertones, the series would be panned by critics and removed from streaming services.
It would, however, generate a large cult following, and be the kind of show that you watch on illegal streaming sites at 2.30am while eating noodles, stoned.