(S46) PT #5 - Selling Out

[jadda123876]

Emblazoned on the front of his water bottle, the bright caricature of a white and red straw smiles to the camera as Jonathan nods succinctly. 

No pills, no exercise! In only one month with Flavor-Aid, YOU TOO could lose weight fast! Shed whole people! Why, I'd say, Nine Hundred and Eighteen of them!
Show your fanatical zeal for this family-friendly drink the next time you're at the supermarket and pick up a pack!


It's NO LONGER the brand of mass suicide and religious fervor that runs amok claiming the lives of many innocent men, women, and children merely for the continuation of the selfish desires of a man!
Now, you can enjoy the fresh taste of FLAVOR-AID, and believe me when I tell you, it'll be the last thing you'll EVER drink!

For the low cost of six dollars and sixty-six cents, you can take home the refreshing, all-natural taste of flavor-aid.

---

The views and beliefs expressed by the perpetrators of the Jonestown massacre are in no way the views and values held by the company flavor-aid and does not promote, condone, adhere to, or believe in the values of Jim Jones.

[Asked Madden]

Mooty Poop-Eater is a fickle man who would shill for just about anything. Unfortunately, due to his name, not many people want to use him as figurehead of their brand. Fortunately for Mooty, one particular company were very interested to make use of his name - Toilet duck.
Toilet duck brought in Poop-Eater to take part in their targeted ads to be played during football games. In his first ad campaign for toilet duck, he would be eating "taco hell" at the start. He'd then go to the toilet and shut the door. The most unholy of noises would deep through the now closed door, sounding like a man fighting for his life. He then opens the door. We see an absolutely destroyed toilet post flush, looking like a Jackson Pollock painting. Mooty brings out a bottle of toilet duck and demonstrates it cleaning off the pebble dashing. He turns to the camera "Toilet duck, it eats the poop I won't"

[NUCK]

SHL

[deadlunatic]

Man oh man, my boy Old Man Walker will shill anything for the advanced in age peoples out there. They need more love in the retail world. Too many people think old people are useless and serve no real purpose other than fattening up grand children and yelling at kids to get off my lawn. And do not forget complaining about gen Z not wanting to work. But, I love the idea of an Old Man branded walker with some style and speed to it. As you most likely already know, I am by far the fastest old person alive. I might end up being the fastest person alive ever, still working on my form for running. With that money, man I would be getting me some good hair dye and lots of mushy foods because you know my dentures just don't work the way I want sometimes for eating those hard foods like apples and crackers.

[griis]

Leo Simon Schwartz found himself faced with a lucrative sponsorship offer from a prominent casino: a staggering $1 million. The offer, while undeniably tempting, sparked a whirlwind of contemplation within Leo's mind. Despite the eye-popping sum, Leo approached the proposal with a discerning eye, weighing the potential implications against his personal values and principles.

For Leo, the decision wasn't solely about financial gain; it was about maintaining integrity and authenticity. While some might view such a sponsorship as "selling out," Leo saw it differently. He recognized the opportunity to leverage the sponsorship to further his philanthropic efforts, using the funds to support initiatives aimed at combating issues like predatory lending and providing assistance to those in need.

Moreover, Leo saw the sponsorship as a platform to amplify important messages and advocate for positive change. By aligning himself with the right partners and using his influence for good, Leo believed he could make a meaningful impact beyond the confines of the football field.

In the end, Leo saw the sponsorship not as a compromise of his values, but as an opportunity to leverage his platform for greater good. By carefully considering the potential impact and ensuring that his actions aligned with his principles, Leo approached the offer with a sense of purpose and integrity, determined to make a positive difference in the world, both on and off the field.

[KC15]

American Dream comes from an economically disadvantaged background which has left an indelible impression on him.  Some might scramble for whatever cash they can and sell whatever is put in front of them, but not Dream.  He is very selective and he is not going to pitch something useless to a group that can’t afford it.  So, no $400 gold sneakers with a ridiculous capital T on them sold to … well, to anyone.

Dream doesn’t take himself too seriously and isn’t above laughing along with his buddies when they ride him, but he’s also cognizant that he is a role model in the black community and isn’t going to appear in ads that make him look foolish and therefore other black folks by extension. 

Other than that, Dream is pretty open to selling what might come his way.  He’s making pretty good money now as a football player so his plan would be to pump the money he makes from sponsorships back into the community for things like after school day care for parents who work longer than school hours (pretty much everyone) and literacy programs.

Code:

187 words

[Brad Woof]

Brad Woof has a deep passion for two things: journalistic integrity and rad vibes. These values are a draw to a lot of possible sponsors but Brad only partners with who he considers the most positive and fun, and his biggest sponsor is none other than the Portland Giga-Arcade & Laser Tag Multiplex Ultra Arena 2. 

After the devastating loss of the original Portland Giga-Arcade & Laser Tag Multiplex Ultra Arena in the perfectly accidental and NOT laser-related fire, Brad was excited to lend his voice and passion for radical fun to the PGA&LTMUA2 to help reassure fans that the Portland-area staple was back and better than ever. Sporting over 700 classic arcade cabinets, 100,000 sq ft of laser tag arena space, and carpets sourced exclusively from 1996 bowling alley arcades, the PGA&LTMUA2 is your source for radical entertainment!

Brad holds over a dozen high scores in various arcade installations and comes by at least once a week to go for more, along with dominating the laser tag arena. Regular patrons can expect to see Brad running at a dead sprint around the Multiplex, whether he's in a game or not!

"Lasers are fun and not dangerous." - Portland Pythons WR Brad Woof

[araa]

When it comes to sponsorship and advertising Grzegorz wouldn’t be picky, after all work is work and money are money, with some exceptions maybe. Preferably however he would go in the direction of farming equipment as it’s close to his heart. Lexus? That’s children’s toy. Real man drive tractors. And if you can drive tractors and get paid for it what’s not to love? Now it would be even better if we could do some actual farming while shooting the ads. It could even be whole program of Grzegorz going around in state of art farming equipment helping people around the United States of America with their farming. Now obviously he wouldn’t represent John Deere and their DRM, farmers should be possibly self-sufficient, not wait month for someone to fix their tractor. With money from sponsorship Grzegorz would buy some land, some farming equipment, plant some potatoes, harvest some potatoes and create potato Vodka Empire in US of A.

[AW13]

In a move that made a ton of sense, the latest large dealer in home security systems has reached out and made a deal with Dawelle Wevis for a sponsorship deal. Wevis, a "lock down corner" by trade is of course a great representative for the brand that deals with locking down people's homes and businesses so it made natural sense. Also, the company Lock is based out of New Orleans, LA where Wevis is currently playing his football in the ISFL so it made geographical sense as well. Now, Lock is certainly a nationwide brand and Wevis will appear in a few commercials for them that would span across the United States and parts of Canada as well. The deal is a pretty lucrative one in the millions so Wevis, especially being on his rookie contract, was ecstatic to not only get his name out there but also collect a nice signing bonus and paychecks for his work sponsoring the brand. Wevis plans to help pay off his parents' house with the extra money and hopefully manage the rest well with his new financial advisor. Get locked down with Lock and Dawelle Wevis.

[Gage2]

Julian Rose has no qualms with endorsements or making some of that sweet cash. But he often likes to do it with stuff that actually interests him. You won’t see him trying to push something that really doesn’t pertain to him. Which is why he announced he is launching his own hair color so you too can be like the eccentric football player in your own “game” in life. The advertising is pretty straightforward. Julian was already rocking some wild hairstyles on the field already so he was practically promoting it by just playing the game of football in general. The old people say he looks like a snow cone and the youngsters out there can’t wait to throw on some of that “Minnesota Blue” hair dye. Attention is attention and it flies off the shelves. Julian is a second generation athlete who already had some cash before he even set foot in pro football so with his money he actually puts a good amount of his endorsement money into creating a better community in his hometown of San Juan.