*Bite, Hiss, Bite

**jadda123876**

You’re not like me.

You don’t know what I’ve got.

You don’t know what I have hidden deep inside.

Inside is a rattlesnake determined to get out, inside is a fire blazing, waiting for the right moment, one shot, one opportunity.

You know the names, you see them in the sim reports.

Willeh Strong, the best 1OA pick of all time.

Animal Blundetto, a literal animal on the field.

American Dream, keeping the dream alive.

Carlos Marx, a sudden profound benefit to the Portland Pythons defensive side and a late draft pick, there is no doubt that he is the best late pick to ever exist.

Gucci Gurley. Jonathan Irons. Tyler Higbee. Our S47 mainstays, our returning legends.

With an assortment of other incredibly powerful players on our field, it is time for Portland to shine.

This is Portland Pythons Co-GM Jackie Wilson or jadda123876 coming at you with a quick check in just to let you all know that the last-to-first dream is alive.

Rushing Game? We got that. Passing Game? MMMMMhmmm.

What don’t we have?

The time for your bullshit, or your pity.

If there is one thing I learned from toppling Head Office as part of a rookie uprising and a resurgence of defiant attitude, it’s that you can always knock people down a peg if you are determined to do so.

So, with that out of the way, I just want to make one quick observation.

Those who refuse to play the game will be upended by those who are absolutely willing to put in the dedication to play it anyway, and I have consulted the cards (i.e., the Sim) and I have seen that each and every one of you unoriginal nerds likes to pick the same thing week to week, across the DSFL, and the ISFL.

The meta is the meta for a reason, and I understand that wholeheartedly.

But with enough sim tests I can find a result that can beat your “meta” every time.

Don’t underestimate my crazy. Because I will sim test thousands of runs just to have a shot at playoffs.

Consider the Inland Taipan, Scientific Name Oxyuranus microlepidotus, or the most venomous snake in the world.

Its venom can cause symptoms such as neurotoxicity, coagulopathy, kidney failure, and finally death.

You may have thought in the past of the Portland Pythons as merely a simple garter snake, and we’d love for you to see that fun and engaging side to us! But we will strike the heel, if threatened.

Peace! Love ya!

<3