(S47) PT #4 - Identity Theft Is Not A Joke

[WALDO]

I would change my position almost instantly. Look, I love the Tight End position, it gave me my restart in this league and I have been able to become one of the best Tight Ends in the entire league in my prime, I cannot thank the Tight End position any more for the privilege of that. However, I fucking hate playing Tight End. Legit, I don't even watch the streams anymore. I just don't enjoy watching my player play. If I watch a stream, it's the DSFL (which I watch pretty often). So yes, I would swap to any position available, probably to WR, or even to RB, just so I can experience a season that isn't filled with boring 3 yard routes every other play or being excited to see a pancake. As awesome as the potential for the pancake record at TE is, I am not turned on by it at all. I simply have stopped caring about the Tight End position.

[DocLars]

As a cornerback, my job is already harder than anyone else in the league. Realistically, switching to any other position would be so simple that it would almost make things too easy. For this thought exercise, I’d choose to switch with Tyler Higbee II. Through discord I’ve learned that he plays a position called tight end, which I had never heard of before (but I guess it’s a real thing!). Since most people forget about this position existing, you’re basically playing with house money. If you don’t show up on the stat sheet that’s considered pretty normal. If you end up making a play or two, your cult of outcasts will put you on a pedestal. Jet would be a permanent figure upon that pedestal in this hypothetical, but pretending to play such a disgusting position has already left a sour taste in my mouth. It goes without saying that any sad soul playing tight end would never make it as a cornerback. It requires a level of mental fortitude and athleticism that few possess. That being said, Higbee would probably be good at yapping at the wide receivers.

[Nectorist]

As such an identifiable figure, mostly because of his size, it'd be tough for Big Tractor to pull off an identity swap too easily. He'd probably have to go for someone who's close to him in size. Gustav Farkas on Dallas seems like a pretty good bet. They're about the same size, and at the end of the day, Big Tractor is a homebody. He'd be able to get back to playing some offensive line for a bit, and he'd be able to visit home on the weekends. Dallas is also the site of his great victory in the pancake eating competition, so he could probably throw his hat in the ringer for that scene again. Kansas City just doesn't have the same appreciation for food competitions. That said, Big Tractor has adjusted to life as a wide receiver, and life in the frozen depths of the north (Missouri), so I don't think the swap would go on for too long.

Of course, Big Tractor's also a nice guy. As an act of generous charity, he might switch identities with Seer Ial @omg in order to give him a shot at being the #1 receiver on his team. I'm sure he'd really appreciate the opportunity.

[Rusfan]

For Caleb TheGEICOCamel, there is not really a better opportunity in the DSFL right now than with the Minnesota Grey Ducks. Yes, he finds himself as 3rd on the depth chart with no real way to crack the starting lineup with his later start to his career than Jet Larson and Tyler Oles III. Yes, his determination to improve his speed has come with a slight slow down to the improvement of his other skills. But nowhere else in the league would he be able to be on the best team in the Developmental Simulation Football League. Sitting at 7-2 they are one game above the Tijuana Luchadores in the South with no signs of slowing down with only 5 games left to go. With the improvement of the players ahead of him, TheGEICOCamel will likely find himself as a top 2 corner after call ups next offseason. Even if not, after such an incredible draft class, they are well set for an incredible year 2.

[OrbitingDeath]

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[oknom]

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[C9Van]

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[Brad Woof]

They always say defensive backs are just wide receivers that can't catch, so I'd prove that by switching places with my arch-rival and frenemy, Roquefort Cotswald @roquefort . The mouse talks a big game about locking people up in practice (lmao) and I think he needs a little bit of a harsh reality check. Obviously I'd be a stellar CB. Ultra fast, hands for days, more competitive than Roque, stronger than Roque, I'd double his PDs in half the time. No need for tackling skill when you can just catch the passes instead of the WR. Meanwhile I doubt Roque could catch a pass to save his life. You seen them tiny little paws? Kids quick, no doubt, but it takes a little more skill and finesse to actually haul in those passes rather than slap them away. That high INT isn't going to save you when balls are bouncing off your cinderblock hands.

I'm just playin' bby, you know you my dawg.

[amjohnson636]

If I had to swap with someone my personal choice would be Beck from OCO as he is a leader for the team and the GM. I would be swapping players with Smokin Jay who plays safety. I love the idea of playing on the other side of the ball especially safety as it allows for the player to achieve a high number of interceptions and tackles. As someone who played free safety growing up this is a position I heavily considered to play. While some may view the move to OCO as a cop out I do love the team and I currently am finishing out my last year in the DSFL so I'm still technically not yet an Otter. OCO has a great group together in place and the ability to lead the team, be a team player by playing on the defensive side of the ball, and changing my name to Smokin Jay sounds pretty badass to me.

[Vulfzilla]

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