03-15-2020, 12:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-15-2020, 06:48 PM by Memento Mori.)
Memento Mori Wrote:This is Bobby's second interview, the third part of a series in which an extremely British reporter interviews people associated with the DSFL/NSFL. You can read the intro piece that sets up the premise here. Bobby has previously interviewed Thomas Passmann. For graders: split the pay 50/50 between myself and @morsy. The main body is 1301 words.
Bobby’s first taste of a world without crumpets had been strange, and frankly terrifying. But, as ever, Bobby was far too polite to kick up a fuss about it and so he diligently continued to fulfill his responsibilities as The Daily Scone’s NSFL/DSFL roving reporter.
His next assignment took him to chilly Minnesota, where he’d be meeting another DSFL wide receiver. This time he’d be meeting William Alexander of the Minnesota Grey Ducks, drafted four picks after Bobby’s previous interviewee. He prayed that the similarities between William Alexander and Thomas Passmann ended there.
Bobby boarded yet another plane (why was America such a big country?), where he had an absolutely torrid experience. The stewardess waited until the plane was already in the air to inform the passengers that they had run out of teabags and as a result would not be serving tea during the flight. Despite Bobby’s persistent efforts to convince the crew otherwise, they ruled that this was not grounds for making an emergency landing and so his torturous experience continued. Until that day, Bobby had never gone more than three hours in his waking life without enjoying a cuppa.
Thankfully, our brave hero made it to Minnesota alive. Just.
---
As a precaution following his previous interview, Bobby met William Alexander in the centre of Minneapolis, in a public place during broad daylight.
“Lovely to meet you, William. I’ll start with the question that everyone back in the UK is asking. What even is a wide receiver?”
The wide receiver spoke confidently and seemed at ease. Bobby could tell this was far from his first time being interviewed. “Thanks Bobby, good to hear you people overseas finally want to learn about the most important sport in the world. Especially now that you have a team in London to support. Not that I would suggest becoming a fan of the Royals, there‘s only one team that‘s worthy of your attention, the Minnesota Grey Ducks. See, it‘s grey with an e so you don‘t have to adapt.”
He continued: “Anyway, to answer your question: The wide receiver is likely the most important player on any football team. Wide receivers score points and they do it with grace and skill. There are other positions that score points as well, but they‘re more like human wrecking balls. Wide receivers glide through the air to make a one-handed catch of the ball the quarterback didn't throw quite right. We gracefully slip through defenses to gain yards and if it‘s necessary run over these tiny cornerbacks that think they can cover us. Of course they can‘t.
We‘re also the purest form of team players. Of course I can‘t get the ball every single play, no matter how often I ask the quarterback to always throw to me, but I can distract the opposing defenders because they know I‘m always ready to expose their puny efforts at protecting their end zone. That opens up holes for the other wide receivers on the team. I don‘t mind if they score some touchdowns as well, as long as we all know that it was because of my great team play.”
Bobby was somewhat taken aback by the young man’s confidence, but thankfully Alexander didn’t appear to be a literal murderer. Perhaps he was losing some of his polite tactfulness, as he asked: "Are all Americans this confident or is it a wide receiver thing?"
Alexander was unphased. “I think it‘s neither a wide receiver nor an American thing, it‘s a trait of people with skills. Doesn't matter if you‘re the best journalist, the best dog walker or the incredible ball catcher who single-handedly wins games for his or her team. It‘s just a matter of knowing your worth. Don't you take any pride in your work and think that you were born to be a writer?”
The honest answer was probably ‘no’, but that seemed like something Bobby should discuss with a therapist rather than a brash, confident twenty-something year old. He continued with the interview. “What made you want to become a football player?”
“You know, I come from a family of smart people. But I didn't only get the brains but also the athletic ability most people can only dream of. Some people will say that I can‘t do anything but run lightning fast, jump exceptionally high and have the football IQ to outsmart most other players on the field. But like I said, I‘m a clever guy, so I figured it would be a shame not to showcase my talents on a bigger stage. You can‘t see me play and not enjoy it. I want to make people happy. It‘s some kind of philanthropy, you know?”
The confidence he showed reminded him of many of his favourite English footballers - Maximilian Aarons, Ainsley Maitland-Niles, Danny Drinkwater… "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but given your obvious athletic talent, why didn't you choose to play proper football instead?"
“Like you said, I have obvious athletic talent. Why should I waste it on kicking a ball around? We have kickers here too and they‘re like the least recognized players on the team barely outdoing the punter and the long snapper in terms of popularity. Soccer players don‘t need to jump, don‘t need any skills with their hands. Unless they‘re goalkeepers but that‘s for people who pretend to be athletes but stand around 89 minutes of a game. You know, I used to play soccer when I was younger, baseball as well but they only use a fraction of what I have to offer, so for me it was an obvious choice to become a football pro.”
Bobby thought that if William Alexander’s head grew any bigger, it might burst.
“I was hoping you could shed some light on a rumour I’ve heard. Apparently, when you were drafted at pick #40 Minnesota’s General Manager actually meant to pick William Lim, the wide receiver with a similar name who was drafted just after you. Were you aware of this, and is it true?”
“I‘m sure William Lim is a great player but why would anyone want to draft him instead of me? If anything it‘s the Dallas Birddogs who wished they could have picked me up instead of him. It‘s bad enough that other wide receivers were drafted before I was picked but that only shows that most GMs don‘t know anything about football and talent. See, that‘s why I‘m glad I‘m on the Grey Ducks. We‘re winners, our GMs can appreciate a special talent like me.”
The DSFL season had recently started, meaning Bobby could ask him a question about an actual sporting event rather than trying to ascertain which Game of Thrones character William was most like based on his choice of breakfast. "I see that you recently made your regular season debut against the Tijuana Luchadores. According to the game log, you dropped two passes. Is that good?"
“Dropping a pass is about as good as a soccer player attempting a step over and instead tripping over the ball. So yeah, I could have done better. It's early in the season, the QBs and I don't have that connection yet so you know what the other will do instinctively. Doesn't mean either of us is a bad player of course, just that there are some areas in which I can still improve so I become an undefendable scoring machine. I also had 49 yards on three receptions, maybe we can focus on that so your readers won't get the wrong impression of the kind of game I played.”
Bobby had no idea what 49 yards on three receptions meant, or if it was good, but he figured the readers back home wouldn’t either. He shrugged. At least this guy had been relatively normal.
[OPTION]S24 (PHI): 16 GP, 73 tackles, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 3 sacks, 5 INTs, 10 PDs, 2 TDs
[OPTION]S25 (PHI): 16 GP, 67 tackles, 4 INTs, 13 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 16 GP, 68 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 10 PDs
[OPTION]S27 (OCO): 16 GP, 116 tackles, 4 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S28 (OCO): 16 GP, 84 tackles, 1 FF, 1 FR, 3 INTs, 20 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S29 (OCO): 16 GP, 99 tackles, 3 FF, 1 FR, 5 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]ISFL Playoff Stats:
[OPTION]S23 (PHI): 1 GP, 2 tackles
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 1 GP, 5 tackles, 2 PDs
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]Trophies and Achievements:
[OPTION]Drafted 35th Overall by Myrtle Beach in the S21 DSFL Draft
[OPTION]S21 Ultimini Champion
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Defensive Back of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]Drafted 4th Overall by Philadelphia in the S22 ISFL Draft
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Defensive Performance of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S25 (PHI): 16 GP, 67 tackles, 4 INTs, 13 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 16 GP, 68 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 10 PDs
[OPTION]S27 (OCO): 16 GP, 116 tackles, 4 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S28 (OCO): 16 GP, 84 tackles, 1 FF, 1 FR, 3 INTs, 20 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S29 (OCO): 16 GP, 99 tackles, 3 FF, 1 FR, 5 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]ISFL Playoff Stats:
[OPTION]S23 (PHI): 1 GP, 2 tackles
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 1 GP, 5 tackles, 2 PDs
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]Trophies and Achievements:
[OPTION]Drafted 35th Overall by Myrtle Beach in the S21 DSFL Draft
[OPTION]S21 Ultimini Champion
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Defensive Back of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]Drafted 4th Overall by Philadelphia in the S22 ISFL Draft
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Defensive Performance of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Returner of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]=============================================================
Player | Update | Wiki | Twitter
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Returner of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]=============================================================
Player | Update | Wiki | Twitter