Season 25 ISFL Draft Prospect Positional Breakdown – Defensive Tackle
Hey there sports fans! Draft week(s) festivities are finally upon us! On Friday, September 25th we have the Season 25 ISFL Rookie Draft, which is followed up a week later with the Season 25 DSFL Draft. Due to my overflowing excitement over my first ever ISFL Draft, I am going to try and do a write-up of every position group coming into the draft.
In this FINAL edition of the positional breakdown of the Season 25 ISFL Draft, we are looking at the unsung heroes of the defensive front seven – Defensive Tackle
Position Stats
Active Players*: 7
*To qualify as an active player for this breakdown, the player had to have been updated in the last update of Season 24 – 9/12/2020 in the TPE Tracker
Average TPE: 204
Highest TPE: 269 (Goat Tank)
It’s finally here – the last installment of my positional breakdown articles. Some people called me crazy for wanting to do write-ups on all of the Season 25 Prospects. Others told me it would be a waste of time. Others still said, “who are you?” To those who supported me through these efforts, I say thank you for your support and kind words. For those who questioned my existence, I say I’m your son, dad, and just because you don’t support my life choices doesn’t mean I don’t exist.
This final installment is near and dear to my heart. You might think that’s just because my player happens to be a Defensive Tackle. You would be right. However, I wanted to make sure and highlight this position because I don’t believe (in the DSFL at least) it doesn’t get the attention it deserves, as they aren’t really stats monsters like pretty much every other position is. Once they hit the ISFL ranks and get more TPE, DT’s do seem to catch up, though, so for anyone considering creating a DT I would say, “hell yes” and, “stick with it.”
Before I get too far into these player breakdowns, I want to preface by saying these are all subjective and based on my knowledge of the players. I know that I do not know everyone in the league, their stories, or how active they really are. If I missed any information or got something wrong about a player, feel free to correct me and know it mistakes are not intentional.
The Players
Goat Tank | Myrtle Beach Buccaneers | 269 TPE | @Eldorian
If there’s one player on this list who absolutely needs no introduction, it’s Mr. Tank. Or is it Mr. Goat? I’m not totally sure. All I do know is this guy is super well known around these parts and I’m like 99% sure that just mentioning him means that this post is going to get spammed with people responding, “GOAT TANK” over and over. Well, I get paid by clicks so I’ll take that to the bank!
For someone who is projected to be one of the top picks in tomorrow’s draft, I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever interacted with Goat Tank. He did write-up a handy dandy little scouting report for himself, and I learned some things about him. Like that he is in fact not a goat. Shocking, I know. Really though, Eldorian has all the makings of an ISFL celebrity and has already locked down a league job doing stuff as an updater, I think. I could go look at his bio but if I remember correctly it just says, “GOAT TANK” 400 times.
Honky-Tonk Haywood | Portland Pythons | 227 TPE | @jzajenius36
Part Hank Williams Jr., part Thicc Boy, Honky-Tonk is a presence on the defensive line. He definitely comes in high on my Top Names list, and his player render is pretty dang fantastic. Now, I don’t really know user jzajenius (Jizza Genius?), but I do like the media he’s produced on the forums so far. He did some great research and write-ups prior to our DSFL draft, and his article, “The Five Filthiest, Grotesque DSFL O-Linemen” article is a thing of beauty. It’s actually one of my favorite articles that a fellow prospect had come up with. Honky-Tonk also used to give out full on Honky-Tonk butt slaps as congratulations to fellow players, and I really hope to get one for writing about him!
Vance Slattery/Doy Fieri | Tijuana Luchadores | 225 TPE | @"Punter715"
Well, this is awkward. I’ve spent hours writing somewhere between 15,000 and 25,000 words on fellow ISFL prospects, attempting to describe who they are and what they can bring to their new teams and the league as a whole. Now, I have to do that about myself.
Since I know myself better than anyone else I can write about, I decided to boil my write-up to a few bullet points about what I bring to a team and why you should draft me.
• I’m a pretty cool guy friendly polite person
• I’m mostly literate and will write dumb articles about our team and our players
• I complete all my point tasks in a timely fashion
• I have a pretty cute dog and will post pictures of her pretty frequently in our locker room
• I’ve got an interest in helping with simming/scouting/cheerleading/doing whatever to help our team out
• I don’t care about my stats I just want our little dot football players to do well and come together as a team a la The Mighty Ducks
• I will post pictures of beer I’m drinking
• I have lots of money from writing articles, so you don’t have to worry about my cash flow
• I can make really bad graphics and player renders
There you have it: nine pretty damn compelling arguments for why I would make a good addition to any ISFL team roster.
Sheed Thebaw | Dallas Birddogs | 210 TPE | @nutbarspadge
Starting off with a really strong few couple of weeks in the league, Sheed Thebaw (user nutbarspadge) come out with some great media early on, with a mixture of scouting reports and prospect rankings. Since, however, Thebaw has taken a bit more of a passive role in the league activity, but still has managed to keep up on his TPE gains. If he keeps gaining at the rate he is, he should be a solid contributor for an ISLF team before too much time passes.
Angelo Cerilli | Portland Pythons | 209 TPE | @angeloc
Another strong Defensive Tackle from the Pacific Northwest, Cerilli is yet another near-max earning player who has a great personality to boot. He’s produced some good media lately, especially a great article recently discussing which Defensive Tackles he would want if he was an expansion General Manager. I haven’t personally had a lot of interaction with user AngeloC, but once again I have a strong feeling he will make a great addition to any locker room.
Timmy Dimbi | Tijuana Luchadores | 148 TPE | @Tylar
Before I get too far into talking about Timmy (user Tylar) I have to make an announcement: if you’re an ISFL General Manager and you project a need for Defensive Line in a season or two, Timmy Dimbi is your guy. Tylar joined the league about a month later than the rest of the Season 25 class, and he’s been earning and burning since. He doesn’t spend all of his time in the Tijuana locker room like some of his fellow Luchadores rookies do, but when he does he’s always friendly and brings fun conversation. He’s the kind of user who’s always asking questions, taking advice, and showing a strong will to not only build a strong player but also expand his knowledge as a user. Timmy Dimbi isn’t projected to go very high, but he will end up being one of the biggest steals of the draft.
Brent Silva | London Royals | 144 TPE | @Brentmeister69
So, I asked his London Royals teammates to tell me all about Brent Silva and user Brentmeister69, but unfortunately I was at a bit of a deadline due to real life obligations and thus wasn’t able to really get a whole lot out of them. Brent has been fairly quiet on the forums, only posting piece of media since joining.
I will try to update this section if I learn a bit more about him!
Final Thoughts
I did it. I finally finished this series. Nine articles in six days. I want to say it was a labor of love but after about article four it slowly morphed into a descent into madness. In all seriousness, I’m really happy I went through and undertook this project. It helped me learned a WHOLE lot about my fellow prospects, especially the ones that I haven’t had any real direct contact with. I do hope to complete this same sort of series for the Season 26 draft, but we’ll see how my mind heals from this one.
Lastly, I want to say, a big thank you to everyone who read these and even more thank you for those that commented. I hope that my random musings and eighth-grade writing skill provided you with a little bit of entertainment!
Once again, thank you for reading. If you have any corrections or comments, please leave them below!
Previous versions of Pat’s Season 25 ISFL Draft Prospect Positional Breakdown:
TE/QB/K
Running Back
Defensive End
Offensive Line
Safety
Wide Receiver
Linebacker
Cornerback
Hey there sports fans! Draft week(s) festivities are finally upon us! On Friday, September 25th we have the Season 25 ISFL Rookie Draft, which is followed up a week later with the Season 25 DSFL Draft. Due to my overflowing excitement over my first ever ISFL Draft, I am going to try and do a write-up of every position group coming into the draft.
In this FINAL edition of the positional breakdown of the Season 25 ISFL Draft, we are looking at the unsung heroes of the defensive front seven – Defensive Tackle
Position Stats
Active Players*: 7
*To qualify as an active player for this breakdown, the player had to have been updated in the last update of Season 24 – 9/12/2020 in the TPE Tracker
Average TPE: 204
Highest TPE: 269 (Goat Tank)
It’s finally here – the last installment of my positional breakdown articles. Some people called me crazy for wanting to do write-ups on all of the Season 25 Prospects. Others told me it would be a waste of time. Others still said, “who are you?” To those who supported me through these efforts, I say thank you for your support and kind words. For those who questioned my existence, I say I’m your son, dad, and just because you don’t support my life choices doesn’t mean I don’t exist.
This final installment is near and dear to my heart. You might think that’s just because my player happens to be a Defensive Tackle. You would be right. However, I wanted to make sure and highlight this position because I don’t believe (in the DSFL at least) it doesn’t get the attention it deserves, as they aren’t really stats monsters like pretty much every other position is. Once they hit the ISFL ranks and get more TPE, DT’s do seem to catch up, though, so for anyone considering creating a DT I would say, “hell yes” and, “stick with it.”
Before I get too far into these player breakdowns, I want to preface by saying these are all subjective and based on my knowledge of the players. I know that I do not know everyone in the league, their stories, or how active they really are. If I missed any information or got something wrong about a player, feel free to correct me and know it mistakes are not intentional.
The Players
Goat Tank | Myrtle Beach Buccaneers | 269 TPE | @Eldorian
If there’s one player on this list who absolutely needs no introduction, it’s Mr. Tank. Or is it Mr. Goat? I’m not totally sure. All I do know is this guy is super well known around these parts and I’m like 99% sure that just mentioning him means that this post is going to get spammed with people responding, “GOAT TANK” over and over. Well, I get paid by clicks so I’ll take that to the bank!
For someone who is projected to be one of the top picks in tomorrow’s draft, I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever interacted with Goat Tank. He did write-up a handy dandy little scouting report for himself, and I learned some things about him. Like that he is in fact not a goat. Shocking, I know. Really though, Eldorian has all the makings of an ISFL celebrity and has already locked down a league job doing stuff as an updater, I think. I could go look at his bio but if I remember correctly it just says, “GOAT TANK” 400 times.
Honky-Tonk Haywood | Portland Pythons | 227 TPE | @jzajenius36
Part Hank Williams Jr., part Thicc Boy, Honky-Tonk is a presence on the defensive line. He definitely comes in high on my Top Names list, and his player render is pretty dang fantastic. Now, I don’t really know user jzajenius (Jizza Genius?), but I do like the media he’s produced on the forums so far. He did some great research and write-ups prior to our DSFL draft, and his article, “The Five Filthiest, Grotesque DSFL O-Linemen” article is a thing of beauty. It’s actually one of my favorite articles that a fellow prospect had come up with. Honky-Tonk also used to give out full on Honky-Tonk butt slaps as congratulations to fellow players, and I really hope to get one for writing about him!
Vance Slattery/Doy Fieri | Tijuana Luchadores | 225 TPE | @"Punter715"
Well, this is awkward. I’ve spent hours writing somewhere between 15,000 and 25,000 words on fellow ISFL prospects, attempting to describe who they are and what they can bring to their new teams and the league as a whole. Now, I have to do that about myself.
Since I know myself better than anyone else I can write about, I decided to boil my write-up to a few bullet points about what I bring to a team and why you should draft me.
• I’m a pretty cool guy friendly polite person
• I’m mostly literate and will write dumb articles about our team and our players
• I complete all my point tasks in a timely fashion
• I have a pretty cute dog and will post pictures of her pretty frequently in our locker room
• I’ve got an interest in helping with simming/scouting/cheerleading/doing whatever to help our team out
• I don’t care about my stats I just want our little dot football players to do well and come together as a team a la The Mighty Ducks
• I will post pictures of beer I’m drinking
• I have lots of money from writing articles, so you don’t have to worry about my cash flow
• I can make really bad graphics and player renders
There you have it: nine pretty damn compelling arguments for why I would make a good addition to any ISFL team roster.
Sheed Thebaw | Dallas Birddogs | 210 TPE | @nutbarspadge
Starting off with a really strong few couple of weeks in the league, Sheed Thebaw (user nutbarspadge) come out with some great media early on, with a mixture of scouting reports and prospect rankings. Since, however, Thebaw has taken a bit more of a passive role in the league activity, but still has managed to keep up on his TPE gains. If he keeps gaining at the rate he is, he should be a solid contributor for an ISLF team before too much time passes.
Angelo Cerilli | Portland Pythons | 209 TPE | @angeloc
Another strong Defensive Tackle from the Pacific Northwest, Cerilli is yet another near-max earning player who has a great personality to boot. He’s produced some good media lately, especially a great article recently discussing which Defensive Tackles he would want if he was an expansion General Manager. I haven’t personally had a lot of interaction with user AngeloC, but once again I have a strong feeling he will make a great addition to any locker room.
Timmy Dimbi | Tijuana Luchadores | 148 TPE | @Tylar
Before I get too far into talking about Timmy (user Tylar) I have to make an announcement: if you’re an ISFL General Manager and you project a need for Defensive Line in a season or two, Timmy Dimbi is your guy. Tylar joined the league about a month later than the rest of the Season 25 class, and he’s been earning and burning since. He doesn’t spend all of his time in the Tijuana locker room like some of his fellow Luchadores rookies do, but when he does he’s always friendly and brings fun conversation. He’s the kind of user who’s always asking questions, taking advice, and showing a strong will to not only build a strong player but also expand his knowledge as a user. Timmy Dimbi isn’t projected to go very high, but he will end up being one of the biggest steals of the draft.
Brent Silva | London Royals | 144 TPE | @Brentmeister69
So, I asked his London Royals teammates to tell me all about Brent Silva and user Brentmeister69, but unfortunately I was at a bit of a deadline due to real life obligations and thus wasn’t able to really get a whole lot out of them. Brent has been fairly quiet on the forums, only posting piece of media since joining.
I will try to update this section if I learn a bit more about him!
Final Thoughts
I did it. I finally finished this series. Nine articles in six days. I want to say it was a labor of love but after about article four it slowly morphed into a descent into madness. In all seriousness, I’m really happy I went through and undertook this project. It helped me learned a WHOLE lot about my fellow prospects, especially the ones that I haven’t had any real direct contact with. I do hope to complete this same sort of series for the Season 26 draft, but we’ll see how my mind heals from this one.
Lastly, I want to say, a big thank you to everyone who read these and even more thank you for those that commented. I hope that my random musings and eighth-grade writing skill provided you with a little bit of entertainment!
Once again, thank you for reading. If you have any corrections or comments, please leave them below!
Previous versions of Pat’s Season 25 ISFL Draft Prospect Positional Breakdown:
TE/QB/K
Running Back
Defensive End
Offensive Line
Safety
Wide Receiver
Linebacker
Cornerback