Task 10
To me personally, there is never going to be a more tragically missed opportunity - and more dominant forgotten team - than that of the S14 San Antonio Marshals. A few seasons before the rebrand and franchise relocation to Minnesota, the Marshals were captained by legendary sim god timeconsumer as GM. Before the season started, the league experienced what was at the time one of the largest and most important draft classes of all time - the S15 r/nfl crop. TC’s early draft selections, specifically the five Marshal picks of the first six rounds, ended up forming the backbone of the forthcoming season’s dominance. I am of course referring to the Fabulous Five, all five of which turned out to be incredible players and still active league mainstays. On offense, fourth overall pick Morgan Marshall (hey that’s me!) played at receiving back. The other four picks were all on the defensive side: Nero Alexander, a DE from shadyshoelace; Quenton Bode and Mo Berry, two LBs from hippo and frick respectively; and Walt Green, Duilio’s safety. It wouldn’t take long for these picks to translate into one of the highest scoring DSFL teams of all time. The S14 San Antonio Marshals went 13-1 on the season, with the only loss coming on a goal line interception in Week 8 on the road against the Portland Pythons. TC’s quarterback Cooter Bigsby took the helm on offense, but in true San Antonio tradition, it was the running game that shined. Morgan Marshall and IA Max Vaz notched over 1500 and 1100 rushing yards especially, with the former tying the then-DSFL record for touchdowns from scrimmage with 19. The receiving weapons were solid if unspectacular, with meme lord and Gimmy prophet Mister Big Chest leading the charge. It was the defense who shined. Walt Green and Vander Jones tied for the league lead in interceptions, and the entire defense stifled opponents left and right, frequently leading to blowouts. But it wouldn’t be eligible for this task if it all ended happily. The Marshals naturally landed the first seed of the conference and home field advantage for the Ultimini, if they could just win a home game against the Tijuana Luchadores - a team they went 4-0 against in the regular season. It did not turn out so well. The offense didn’t get much going and the defense couldn’t stop the Luchadores attack, especially Forrest Gump’s long rushing touchdown. Thank god the Pythons won the Ultimini or this would sting a hell of a lot more.
Task 11
There are a ton of potential scandals to draw upon here, but I’ll actually focus on a relatively smaller drama that ended up not really etched into the public memory - the feud between Rose Jenkins and Ryan Leaf Jr. Flash back to the S14 Prospect Bowl, an incredibly hyped event showcasing many of these outstanding rookies who would go on to define an era of the league. For such a large class, only one quarterback has really made an impact in Franklin Armstrong, but two other viable candidates originally stood with Brock Landers and Ryan Leaf Jr. Leaf was a noted figure in the class already, due to Valor’s personality, but he became something of a meme when he scored an 87 yard rushing touchdown in the Prospect Bowl. He also became something of a locker room issue when the Kansas City Coyotes decided to pick him up in the draft. Kansas City already had a quarterback, Rose Jenkins, so league rules dictated that both quarterbacks needed to get a fair distribution of the starting snaps. This didn’t sit well with Jiggly, Jenkins’ user, mainly because it apparently didn’t sit well with Valor, who published media and stirred up noise in the locker room expressing his dissatisfaction and superiority over Jenkins. (Amusingly, one of these articles called Rose Jenkins a he, which Jiggly did not appreciate.) A number of weeks transpired, and with both players seeing around an equal split of the passing snaps, both Jenkins and Leaf Jr. ranked near the bottom of the league in stats - not only volume, but also efficiency. The Coyotes’ lack of quarterback consistency hurt them greatly, resulting in a putrid offense and losing record halfway through the season. It all came to a head at the trade deadline, when Valor was dealt to the Norfolk Seawolves. Notably, Leaf Jr. position switched at the same time, transitioning into a defensive tackle. Jenkins became Kansas City’s undisputed starter for the rest of her senddown tenure. It’s a lesser known and less important scandal, but a number of changes emerged from the event - most importantly, Valor gained a reputation as a potential locker room issue on par with Jiggly himself, which has continued to follow him. Funnily enough, Valor would end up reunited with Jiggly only four seasons later, when the Wraiths traded Leaf to the Butchers in the S18-19 offseason while Rose Jenkins still served as the Butchers’ QB... but that’s part of a different story.
To me personally, there is never going to be a more tragically missed opportunity - and more dominant forgotten team - than that of the S14 San Antonio Marshals. A few seasons before the rebrand and franchise relocation to Minnesota, the Marshals were captained by legendary sim god timeconsumer as GM. Before the season started, the league experienced what was at the time one of the largest and most important draft classes of all time - the S15 r/nfl crop. TC’s early draft selections, specifically the five Marshal picks of the first six rounds, ended up forming the backbone of the forthcoming season’s dominance. I am of course referring to the Fabulous Five, all five of which turned out to be incredible players and still active league mainstays. On offense, fourth overall pick Morgan Marshall (hey that’s me!) played at receiving back. The other four picks were all on the defensive side: Nero Alexander, a DE from shadyshoelace; Quenton Bode and Mo Berry, two LBs from hippo and frick respectively; and Walt Green, Duilio’s safety. It wouldn’t take long for these picks to translate into one of the highest scoring DSFL teams of all time. The S14 San Antonio Marshals went 13-1 on the season, with the only loss coming on a goal line interception in Week 8 on the road against the Portland Pythons. TC’s quarterback Cooter Bigsby took the helm on offense, but in true San Antonio tradition, it was the running game that shined. Morgan Marshall and IA Max Vaz notched over 1500 and 1100 rushing yards especially, with the former tying the then-DSFL record for touchdowns from scrimmage with 19. The receiving weapons were solid if unspectacular, with meme lord and Gimmy prophet Mister Big Chest leading the charge. It was the defense who shined. Walt Green and Vander Jones tied for the league lead in interceptions, and the entire defense stifled opponents left and right, frequently leading to blowouts. But it wouldn’t be eligible for this task if it all ended happily. The Marshals naturally landed the first seed of the conference and home field advantage for the Ultimini, if they could just win a home game against the Tijuana Luchadores - a team they went 4-0 against in the regular season. It did not turn out so well. The offense didn’t get much going and the defense couldn’t stop the Luchadores attack, especially Forrest Gump’s long rushing touchdown. Thank god the Pythons won the Ultimini or this would sting a hell of a lot more.
Task 11
There are a ton of potential scandals to draw upon here, but I’ll actually focus on a relatively smaller drama that ended up not really etched into the public memory - the feud between Rose Jenkins and Ryan Leaf Jr. Flash back to the S14 Prospect Bowl, an incredibly hyped event showcasing many of these outstanding rookies who would go on to define an era of the league. For such a large class, only one quarterback has really made an impact in Franklin Armstrong, but two other viable candidates originally stood with Brock Landers and Ryan Leaf Jr. Leaf was a noted figure in the class already, due to Valor’s personality, but he became something of a meme when he scored an 87 yard rushing touchdown in the Prospect Bowl. He also became something of a locker room issue when the Kansas City Coyotes decided to pick him up in the draft. Kansas City already had a quarterback, Rose Jenkins, so league rules dictated that both quarterbacks needed to get a fair distribution of the starting snaps. This didn’t sit well with Jiggly, Jenkins’ user, mainly because it apparently didn’t sit well with Valor, who published media and stirred up noise in the locker room expressing his dissatisfaction and superiority over Jenkins. (Amusingly, one of these articles called Rose Jenkins a he, which Jiggly did not appreciate.) A number of weeks transpired, and with both players seeing around an equal split of the passing snaps, both Jenkins and Leaf Jr. ranked near the bottom of the league in stats - not only volume, but also efficiency. The Coyotes’ lack of quarterback consistency hurt them greatly, resulting in a putrid offense and losing record halfway through the season. It all came to a head at the trade deadline, when Valor was dealt to the Norfolk Seawolves. Notably, Leaf Jr. position switched at the same time, transitioning into a defensive tackle. Jenkins became Kansas City’s undisputed starter for the rest of her senddown tenure. It’s a lesser known and less important scandal, but a number of changes emerged from the event - most importantly, Valor gained a reputation as a potential locker room issue on par with Jiggly himself, which has continued to follow him. Funnily enough, Valor would end up reunited with Jiggly only four seasons later, when the Wraiths traded Leaf to the Butchers in the S18-19 offseason while Rose Jenkins still served as the Butchers’ QB... but that’s part of a different story.
Transgender lesbian, S15 veteran, media extraordinaire, and the sim's punching bag. Fascists and bigots are welcome to fuck off.
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For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
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For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
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