*The Rockiest Road

**Baron1898**

The Rockiest Road
Colorado’s Years in the Wilderness

14:57, 1st and 10 on the OCO 12. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 1 yard. Tackle by Rotticus Scott.

14:31, 2nd and 9 on the OCO 13. Pass by Franklin Armstrong to Jeffrey Phillips for 12 yards. Tackle by Pete Parker.

13:46, 1st and 10 on the OCO 25. Pass by Franklin Armstrong to Jammerson Irving for 10 yards. Tackle by Logan Uchiha.

13:08, 1st and 10 on the OCO 35. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 8 yards. Tackle by Logan Uchiha.

12:34, 2nd and 2 on the OCO 43. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 7 yards. Tackle by Tony Gabagool.

12:05, 1st and 10 on the OCO 50. Rush by Franklin Armstrong for 13 yards. Tackle by Rotticus Scott.

11:30, 1st and 10 on the COL 37. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 1 yard. Tackle by Immanuel Blackstone.

11:07, 2nd and 9 on the COL 36. Pass by Franklin Armstrong to Hugh Mongo for 10 yards. Tackle by Rotticus Scott.

10:30, 1st and 10 on the COL 26. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 10 yards. Tackle by Mo Berry.

9:59, 1st and 10 on the COL 16. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for 3 yards. Tackle by Tony Gabagool.

9:35, 2nd and 7 on the COL 13. Pass by Franklin Armstrong to Jammerson Irving is dropped.

9:29, 3rd and 7 on the COL 13. Pass by Franklin Armstrong to Ludicolo Bigby for 8 yards. Tackle by Rotticus Scott.

8:42, 1st and goal on the COL 5. Rush by Tatsu Nakamura for no gain. Tackle by Mo Berry.

8:10, 2nd and goal on the COL 5. Rush by Ludicolo Bigby for 5 yards. TOUCHDOWN! (Extra point by Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname is good)

Score is Orange County 21, Colorado 3.

When three-time league MVP Franklin Armstrong began the third quarter of the S22 Ultimus by leading this touchdown drive, everyone in Colorado knew how this story would end. Across all three franchise trips to the Ultimus, the Yeti had been outscored 74-30. The Yeti had put up only a field goal in their lone successful scoring drive; the other three full drives had ended in two three-and-outs and a Wolfie McDummy interception. The Otters had just marched 88 yards down the field, bleeding a quarter of the remaining game time and creating a three-score lead.

This franchise just wasn’t meant to win the Ultimus. The Yeti weren’t meant to find happiness. They were the league laughingstock, the court jester who occasionally scrouged up enough wins for the honor of losing a playoff game. The first, and second, team to endure a winless season. The only team to go 22 whole seasons without a single season of double-digit wins.

The whole league knew the Yeti were simply destined to fail.

Volume I: The View from Above

But that Ultimus was far, far away. Exactly three years earlier, on May 27, 2017, the Colorado Yeti came into existence.

The NSFL began as a twinkle in the eye of Ballerstorm, a veteran user of the SHL, but the league did not take long to come together. In early May 2017, Baller and a few collaborators from SHL, principle among them @princekyle, got things running in a remarkably short timeframe – building the forums and administrative details, beginning the process of recruitment, and filling out job positions. On May 11, he posted a job application for the first-ever GMs.

There would be six inaugural teams in the nascent NSFL, the location and branding of which was entirely up to whoever landed the position. One of the winners was @DELIRIVM, known then as incitehysteria. Incite christened his team the Denver Grizzlies, with orange and silver as their color set. The logo can be seen below:

[Image: fd8eL27.png]

The Grizzlies co-GM alongside incite was the one and only @~~Noble~~. The league was still in its infancy, but Noble was already quite notorious for cheating scandals in other sim leagues. In fact, Noble had applied for one of the six GM slots (and given it!) under a different name, hoping to avoid the stigma and history he carried with him. Baller swiftly became suspicious of the mystery user's credentials, checked his IP address against Noble's, and forced him to come clean. One might assume that such an early infraction from someone of Noble's reputation would've barred him from the NSFL. But Baller gave him a second chance.

Each of the founding teams started out with two roster spots to fill through GM players. The Grizzlies chose to fill impact roles on both sides of the ball; incite created as an edge rushing linebacker, Wyatt Fulton, and Noble as the team quarterback, Logan Noble. Incite and Noble wanted to create a dynamic team where Noble stood in the pocket and made plays with his arm instead of his legs, as two other teams had gone for (Tyler Verga on the Wraiths and Anthony Petrakis on the Otters).

But as the draft inched closer, the Grizzlies had an image problem. Three of the six starting teams had gone for orange as a primary color, including Arizona and Orange County. Furthermore, some users commented that the name Grizzlies was uninspired given that almost every sim league had some sort of bear-themed team. So on May 27, incite unveiled the new look Colorado Yeti. They moved away from the orange and silver towards maroon, white, and black and had a brand-new logo for the occasion:

[Image: yc2qZgN.png]

Incite had this to say regarding his philosophy and goals for the team:

Quote:First and foremost, I want to build a strong locker room. I want the place to be like a family and have everyone get along. So this entails bringing in a certain type of personality into the locker room. We want Colorado to be a place that everyone aspires to be a part of every season. We want Colorado to be THE Free Agent destination. Somewhere that people talk about as full of friendly people that like to win and like to have fun even more than they want to win.

I also want to establish an identity. I want this team to develop an on the field identity. We want to set fear into the opposing team. Colorado wants to be a hardnosed team on the field and a pack of fun people off the field.

The GMs wouldn't have to wait long for their first opportunity to shape the team. The inaugural NSFL Draft took place on June 1, 2017. 137 prospects flew off the draft board, landing on their respective teams with hope and excitement for the start of play. This draft operated as a snake draft, and Colorado was randomly assigned the third spot. With their picks, the Yeti chose:

Pick 3 – Philippe Carter, CB @enigmatic
Pick 10 – D.J. Law, WR @Law
Pick 15 – Vinny Cox, DT @Gooney
Pick 22 – Luke Tiernan, RB @Ltsmashie
Pick 27 – Alex Hayden, CB @Rich
Pick 34 – Bender Rodriguez, OL @BenderRodriguez
Pick 39 – Fuego Wozy, DE @TheWoZy
Pick 46 – Kendrick Hendrix, WR @deadendpath27
Pick 51 – Mike McNoodle, S @TheLoopster
Pick 58 – Johnathon Saint, LB @jparks98
Pick 63 – Bill Weller, TE @Billieck
Pick 70 – Bojo Kicksit, K @Bojo
Pick 75 – Kieran O'Connell, RB @Lainncli
Pick 82 – Jimmy Darkapple, K @TheAliensAreCumming
Pick 87 – Vikian Marmeladov, S @Vikain
Pick 94 – Everest Teagarden, DE @xfactorx121
Pick 99 – Boss Tweed, RB @PigSnout
Pick 106 – Mark Hargrove, TE @Viktor1980
Pick 111 – William Nasher, DT @redguy22
Pick 118 – Granit Lewis, WR @OwenJH
Pick 123 – Jonathan Shaloiko, WR @J.shaloiko
Pick 130 – Rickey Mills, LB @Bronson
Pick 135 – Atahualpa Romero, RB @Atahualpa

The Yeti also picked up two undrafted players: CB Mark Bowden (@neall26) and LB Barrick Acolyte (@nbomb220).

With the skeleton of the team now fully assembled, the Yeti waited patiently for July 12 to roll around. That night, the NSFL streamed its first ever set of games, and Season 1 was officially underway.

Season 1

"The way to build a championship caliber squad is actually building a team."

Like the other teams, the S1 roster of the Colorado Yeti was a battleground. Every spot was open, and no one knew which picks would pan out and which ones would bust. With the exception of quarterback, where Logan Noble stood comfortably unchallenged, most every position group saw its fair share of jostling:

Running Back: The Yeti drafted four backs to their roster; three of them suited up for games. But in a backfield largely split three ways, it was 13th rounder Kieran O'Connell – not 4th rounder Luke Tiernan – who ended up leading both in carries and in yardage. His primary backup was Boss Tweed, leaving Tiernan as the third option. None of the three contributed significantly to the passing game, although Tiernan did snag the only receiving touchdown between them.

Wide Receiver: Kendrick Hendrix, D.J. Law, and Jonathan Shaloiko established a pretty clear pecking order among the receiving corps, easy enough given that no other Colorado wideout caught a pass all season. Late draft pick Granit Lewis watched the season from the sidelines, as did Dustin Evans (@OwenJH), a Season 2 prospect snagged late in the year on the waiver wire.

Tight End: Colorado took two tight ends during the draft, of which Mark Hargrove saw significantly more action. But both took a backseat to waiver pickup Rich Gucci (@MixAndMatch), who the Yeti added only one week into the season and who immediately took over Hargrove's role.

Offensive Line: Three of the five linemen protecting Logan Noble were human players. Bender Rodriguez, the only draft pick committed to the position, was soon joined by Bernard Forthward (@ImCokeZero) and Brokk Lee (@BrokkLee), both waiver wire pickups (and in the latter's case a clandestine Er multi).

Defensive Line: There was no need for competition in the defensive trenches, since Colorado rostered exactly two tackles and ends apiece. The premier investments were Vinny Cox in the middle and Fuego Wozy on the edge, with William Nasher and Everest Teagarden contributing as later round picks.

Linebacker: The Yeti could brag of a fantastic one-two punch at linebacker; alongside the GM Wyatt Fulton, Johnathon Saint proved to be a young star in the linebacking corps and led the team in tackles. The only other linebacker who took snaps was Rickey Mills; Barrick Acolyte's number was never called.

Secondary: At cornerback, Colorado had invested two of its first five draft picks into Philippe Carter and Alex Hayden, who immediately took the starting spots. Mike McNoodle started at strong safety and Vikian Marmeladov at free safety, uncontested by any other players, while undrafted cornerback Mark Bowden played as a nickelback/third cornerback.

Special Teams: Having taken two kickers in the draft, Colorado split the kicking and punting duties between Bojo Kicksit and Jimmy Darkapple, respectively. D.J. Law saw the bulk of the work both in kick returning and punt returning, although Alex Hayden also took some snaps in the former.

The general consensus of the league was that the Yeti would likely be battling with the Wraiths for the NSFC crown. 76% of users predicted that Colorado would make the playoffs, second only to the 85.3% of the Otters, and 34.7% predicted the Yeti to win the NSFC, slightly behind Yellowknife. However, only 13.3% of users predicted Colorado as the inaugural league champions, with only Baltimore receiving a worse mark. Hype dwindled further after a dismal 1-3 preseason showing, including losses to both conference rivals in the Hawks and Wraiths.

So it came as a mild surprise when Colorado started the season on a hot streak. In the first two weeks of the season, Colorado dispatched Baltimore and Yellowknife in two consecutive three-point victories. The Yeti were the only team in the NSFL to emerge undefeated after just two weeks. Media chatter, however, swirled around the surprising workshare in the Yeti backfield, especially since high draft pick Luke Tiernan had received only seven carries to that point. In an interview, Ltsmashie stated:

Quote:Truthfully, I am a little surprised about my position on the depth chart. Coming in as a high draft pick I dont feel I was complacent but I did feel that I was going to be starting atop the depth chart at RB.. I saw a team setup to have a dominant run game tailer made to how I play the game, but even in preseason I was playing a RB2 role

To be honest I don't know, perhaps team management already had their mind made up and felt that they didn't need to play Boss in the pre-season games, I don't know - it certainly wasn't communicated to me.

Incite, for his part, stated that the team would continue to try and get all three backs involved in the rotation. And there was little room to complain as long as the Yeti kept up their momentum. Through seven weeks of the season, Colorado led the league with a 6-1 record, their only loss coming in a Week 4 bout against the Hawks. The Yeti's highest all-time win/loss margin, at the time of publishing, still remains tied at this +5 mark after Week 7 of Season 1.

They dropped their next game against the Wraiths, a 29-7 blowout on the road, but six wins was still unmatched by any other team, and a power rankings column that week placed the Yeti in the top spot. But this article was one of the first mentions of a few caveats in Colorado's success which portended trouble ahead:

Quote:When you look at the stats, there is nothing that really stands out, and yet they keep finding a way to win. Many of their games are within a one score margin, and one could argue that they’re just getting lucky when they win.

Week 9 followed, and the Yeti suffered an upset loss to the league-worst Sabercats. Another article shined a light on an interesting contrast between team TPEs and win/loss records, and one of the standout disparities was between the Yeti's record (6-3, now tied for the league lead) and their TPE (second-to-last in total TPE and dead last in TPE per player). Was this simply the result of a small sample size, or had the Yeti been outperforming their potential from the start?

It took until Week 11 for Colorado to snap their losing streak, beating the Outlaws to go to 7-4. Although the Yeti lost again the next game (and the game after that), a Hawks loss to the Wraiths mathematically eliminated them from the playoffs and ensured that Colorado and Yellowknife would be the two playoff contenders in the NSFC. All that remained undecided now would be which team hosted the other in the semifinals.

As it turned out, home field advantage came down to the Week 14 matchup between the two teams taking place in Colorado. The Yeti had beaten the Wraiths two of the three times they played previously, but momentum was firmly not on their side. The 7-6 Yeti had lost five of their last six games, the 8-5 Wraiths had won five of their last six, and the Yeti needed to win to avoid traveling to Yellowknife in the playoffs. Luckily for them, Colorado pulled away in the 3rd quarter to win 20-10, tie both teams at 8-6, and secure home field advantage on a tiebreaker.

But could they do it twice in a row? In the conference championship rematch, Colorado led a punishing defensive effort that limited Yellowknife to five first downs and only 208 total yards of offense. The Wraiths were ahead 6-3 at halftime, but a third quarter touchdown to D.J. Law and a fourth quarter field goal gave the Yeti the 13-6 victory. They would be the first NSFC team to play in the Ultimus game, hosted by the ASFC champion Arizona Outlaws.

Team GM incite posted a fiery article in the media following the victory, calling out the haters and media articles for discounting Colorado's success so effusively. He said:

Quote:Now we stand on the precipice of a matchup with another dominant team in the NSFL in the Arizona Outlaws. And yet again the Yeti are given no chance. We have shown our resiliency through every aspect of the season. Overcoming late struggles to take the conference title, overcoming our lack of “talent” to take the first ever NSFC playoff victory. But we are yet again considered an underdog against the high flying Outlaws. The Yeti players are once again being called inferior. Our lack of stats a concerning aspect for the media. But those of us in the Colorado locker room know that we have what it takes to win the championship. We have a team.

Colorado came into the Ultimus hungry for victory and itching to prove the doubters wrong. After receiving the kickoff, the Yeti went three-and-out after a Logan Noble sack where he also somehow got penalized for tripping. The Outlaws converted their first third-down try, but not their second, and punted the ball right back to the Yeti offense for another go-around.

Then Logan Noble threw an interception to Outlaw safety Ryan Flock, which Flock ran back 24 yards for a touchdown. And it all went downhill from there.

The Outlaws blew out the Yeti 29-6. They were outgained 394 to 223, converted only two of fourteen third downs, and completed only sixteen passes. For Colorado, who had rallied in their prior two matches to overcome their late-season slump, this was a disappointing end to a season that had started with so much promise. But there were many things to celebrate, and the team headed into the offseason with optimism for the future.

For one, many of their stars took home awards. Logan Noble, Kendrick Hendrix, Bender Rodriguez, Fuego Wozy, Johnathon Saint, Alex Hayden, Vikian Marmeladov, and Jimmy Darkapple earned starting honors in the S1 Pro Bowl; Kieran O'Connell, Wyatt Fulton, and Philippe Carter made the reserves. Darkapple won Punter of the Year honors, while Saint's excellent campaign was rewarded with Linebacker of the Year and as a finalist for DPOTY. Meanwhile, incite and Noble were co-winners of GMs of the Year alongside @ADwyer87 and @adam2552 of the Arizona Outlaws.

And those weren't the only awards being handed out. Noble wrote a media post congratulating the standout members of the Yeti, namely Saint as the team DPOTY and enigmatic as the recipient of the Leadership Award. Enigmatic received praise for taking on a leadership role with the team and even helping with management decisions. Noble handed himself the other two awards, the team OPOTY and the Dedication and Service Award, in a stunning display of humility.

Not every development over the offseason would be positive. Towards the end of Season 1, the league's first expansion was confirmed. The new expansion teams – the Philadelphia Liberty and the Las Vegas Legion – would partake in an expansion draft on July 13, in which Colorado was guaranteed to be losing four players. With twelve protection slots, the Yeti chose to keep their GMs, all three starting running backs, their top two receivers and cornerbacks, and Bender Rodriguez, Fuego Wozy, and Johnathon Saint.

It did not take long in the draft for Colorado's players to be poached. With the second and third overall picks, Philadelphia whisked away safety Vikian Marmeladov and defensive tackle Vinny Cox to anchor on their defense. A few picks later at seventh, the Liberty took their third ex-Yeti in kicker Bojo Kicksit. The final loss came at twelfth overall from the Legion taking receiver Jonathan Shaloiko.

One of those departures would not last long, because Colorado traded a fourth-round pick in the S2 NSFL Draft to Philadelphia to regain the services of Bojo Kicksit. The day prior, the two teams made a much more consequential trade when Colorado shipped off their own first and third in the draft to move up five spots for Philly's first at second overall. In incite's words, the trade up would put them in prime position to seal a large gap formed by losses in expansion.

The Yeti made three more large moves to seure their roster. They handed out the team's first-ever extension to Fuego Wozy, adding three years at $2 million apiece to his contract to keep him through Season 5. They made another trade shortly following the draft, shipping off defensive tackle William Nasher and a Season 3 eighth to Baltimore in exchange for reinforcement on the offensive line with Daniel Robicheaux. And after shopping around Kieran O'Connell for a possible trade, the Yeti cleared up their backfield when Luke Tiernan position switched to linebacker.

The S2 NSFL Draft was deep, but the Yeti made only a few top selections as consequence of trading many of their own away. With their cache, they took:

Pick 2 – Blaster Blade, DE @Blaster
Pick 15 – Roman Thomas, S @TheDangaZone
Pick 39 – Big Bot, DE @loco
Pick 47 – Jon Ross, WR @JR95
Pick 55 – Rich Gucci, TE @MixAndMatch
Pick 63 – Gadget Tech, OL @Tech
Pick 71 – Steve Austin, LB @CampinKiller
Pick 79 – Bernard Forthward, OL @ImCokeZero
Pick 87 – Torque Lewith, QB @Hypodynamic
Pick 95 – Santana Moss, WR @Tyfeld93

By trading up to pick #2, the Yeti had essentially spelled out their intention to take Blaster Blade. After the consensus top pick in Dermot Lavelle, Blade was the most enticing non-OL prospect on the board, and he could immediately step in to fill the absence of Vinny Cox. Their other high pick, Roman Thomas, filled a similar ambition as the replacement of Marmeladov in the secondary, and more reinforcements for Nasher and Shaloiko came in via the selections of Big Bot and Jon Ross respectively.

Most of the other picks shored up depth across the roster. Gucci and Forthward, both waiver rentals throughout Season 1, returned in a more permanent capacity as rookies. The one non-essential pick was Torque Lewith, a quarterback. Hypodynamic had been insistent pre-draft on remaining at quarterback, but Logan Noble's position on the team could not have been more secure. Perhaps sensing a lost cause given the dearth of starting jobs available, Lewith transitioned to safety.

There remained little to do before the offseason concluded. Wyatt Fulton, Logan Noble, and Fuego Wozy were recognized as the team captains for Season 2, which began with much aplomb on July 31, 2017. The Yeti were seen as having great odds of contending for the Ultimus once again and viewed the upcoming season with excitement for the future.

Season 2

"At the moment, this is looking like the team to beat."

Most position groups across both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball saw at least some turnover in the starting spots:

Running Back: With Tiernan's position switch to linebacker, and Atahualpa Romero's contract expiring after only one season on the roster, the Yeti rostered only O'Connell and Tweed at the running back position. But although Tweed had technically been RB1 in most formations throughout Season 1, the departure of Tiernan and clearing out of the backfield established a more rigid 1-2 hierarchy where his position on paper matched his production on the field. Tweed dominated touches, gaining over 1000 yards on the ground while O'Connell served in a fullback role.

Wide Receiver: Shaloiko was stolen through expansion, Granit Lewis' contract wasn't renewed, and Dustin Evans was drafted to a different team. In Season 2, therefore, the battle for the WR3 slot behind Hendrix and Law came down to Jon Ross and Santana Moss, both rookies. Ross was the more active and earned the spot, with Moss only catching a single pass all season.

Offensive Line: The O-Line received a near total reinvention. Bender Rodriguez remained entrenched as the left anchor, but the other starting tackle was Baltimore transplant Daniel Robicheaux. Former waiver pickup and current rookie Bernard Forthward moved to guard, defending Noble on the interior alongside recent draft pick Gadget Tech and waiver pickup Antonio Sandoval (@TheMemeMaestro), who the Yeti picked up two weeks into the season.

Defensive Line: Colorado was not capable of playing a 4-3 front without suiting up a bot. All three Yeti linemen were defensive ends, two of which were very high draft investments meant to stem the losses of Vinny Cox and William Nasher. Distant depth piece Everest Teagarden didn't return to the roster after Season 1.

Linebacker: Returning Linebacker of the Year Johnathon Saint had a new playmaker teammate in Luke Tiernan, who took to his new position quite adeptly and rocketed up the depth chart. Saint and Tiernan finished the season ranking third and fourth in the league in tackles, with 121 and 119 respectively. The duo was joined by Wyatt Fulton and by rookie addition Steve Austin.

Secondary: Vikian Marmeladov's departure in expansion, and Mark Bowden's contract not being renewed, opened two new starting spots. Roman Thomas was rated slightly higher than fellow rookie Torque Lewith, but in the end the quarterback-turned-safety ended up with slightly better stats than his much higher drafted teammate. Carter and Hayden remained Colorado's only two human cornerbacks, and McNoodle went unchallenged for the strong safety role.

Special Teams: Both Kicksit and Darkapple remained on Colorado's roster. But after the Yeti traded a draft pick to the Liberty to avoid losing Kicksit in expansion, their favor was made clear, and Kicksit was given the duties of both kicking and punting. Kendrick Hendrix took over the primary kick returning role from D.J. Law, with Hayden again as the backup; on the flip side, Hayden assumed punt returning responsibilities, and became the first Yeti in franchise history to score a returning touchdown (two, in fact, on both a kick and a punt).

The Yeti were assumed to be contenders once again for the Ultimus, joining the Outlaws, Otters, and Wraiths as the top teams to beat in the newly expanded NSFL. One article by @kckolbe, after grading each team's starting rosters and comparing it to their scheduled competition, pegged the Yeti at a predicted 8.6 wins, good for third place. It explained:

Quote:This is a team that is almost impossible to reliably nail down. Despite making it to the Ultimus Bowl, they were blown out horribly, something that could have been seen based on their negative point differential throughout the season… Fortunately for Colorado, this is a great team in close games, and I don’t think it is luck. Colorado may not have quite as many studs as Arizona or Orange County, but they have amazing depth. They can handle all kinds of sub packages without losing strength, and that will definitely come in handy.

The first matchup of the year would be a rematch of the NSFC title game, this time on Yellowknife's field. Unfortunately for the Yeti, despite some breakout individual performances from Boss Tweed and Luke Tiernan, the Yeti fell to the Wraiths 27-17 due to a number of inopportune sacks and two interceptions that killed Colorado drives.

And more unfortunate timing occurred later that night, when incite announced that he would stepping down as Colorado GM. Real life circumstances and workloads in other sim leagues weighed on incite, who stated that he was not in the right place to put in enough effort for the Yeti. His announcement was greeted warmly by a bevy of current players, who praised the work he had put in to create a competitive team and welcoming locker room and wished him well for the future.

Baller and Noble directed any interested in the job to message them directly to apply. After a few days of consideration, Head Office announced on August 3 that deadendpath27, the user behind Kendrick Hendrix, would be the new GM… and PigSnout, Boss Tweed's user, would be his co-GM. Noble, meanwhile, received a promotion to Head Office, where it was announced that he would heading the creation of a new development league, the DSFL, in Season 3.

While in this brief GM limbo, the Yeti found their footing on the field courtesy of a get-right blowout against the Legion on the road, 33-3. Then, in two consecutive revenge games, the Yeti defeated the Wraiths 17-3 in their second matchup and then beat the Arizona Outlaws 13-12 at home, with the Outlaws failing to muster a final comeback drive. After the first quarter of the season, Colorado stood at 3-1, having beaten two very good teams to boot. In interviews, deadend and PigSnout praised the team's locker room atmosphere and the contributions of their rookie class of users in particular. A follow-up article by kolbe even revised his earlier prediction and projected the Yeti to win 10.5 games, tied for most in the league.

The celebrations proved a tad premature. Colorado faced a tough schedule ahead with four of their next five games on the road, and despite facing the winless Liberty in Week 5, the Yeti gifted Philly their first ever franchise victory in an 18-14 bout. Logan Noble through four weeks had actually thrown more interceptions than touchdowns, a problem which the team professed to be working to fix, but the game against Philadelphia again saw him score only once and turn the ball over twice.

Week 6 was another game against Arizona, this time on the road. Colorado led 20-14 through three quarters, but two quick touchdowns put them into a 28-20 deficit midway through the fourth. After settling for a field goal, and after a few quick three-and-outs from both teams, Colorado received favorable field position with 2:08 left to play and ended up running up the gut on a 4th and 10 to turn over the ball on downs. Yes, this was partially due to some absolutely atrocious time management on the part of the sim, but the end result meant that Colorado now stood even at 3-3.

[Image: NC94XDD.png]

This game clock makes so little sense it makes my brain hurt from the sheer astronomical stupidity. Why on Earth is the clock bleeding 30+ seconds after a timeout? Where is the two-minute warning? This is without even mentioning the mind-boggling stupidity of the play-calling, which unfortunately is simply a fact of life in this sim.

The going didn’t get much better for Colorado over the rest of this stretch. Their only home game came next with a thorough 21-9 handling of the Sabercats, but in two more road matchups against good teams in the Orange County Otters and Baltimore Hawks, the Yeti dropped both 19-3 and 28-9. Of particular worry was the offense, who didn't score a touchdown in either game and threw three interceptions. Quoting a power rankings article from after Week 9:

Quote:Noble had a bad day, Tweed is not performing where the team wants and something isn’t clicking in Colorado. Weird as it may be to say, the NSFC Champions may not be returning to playoffs unless they start reminding people why they are considered great.

There was still opportunity for the 4-5 team to turn their fortunes around. Of the final five weeks of the season, Colorado would get to play four of them at home. First up were the Otters once again, against whom the Yeti got out to an early 10-0 lead and held on to win 17-10 thanks largely to their defense. Then, in another low-scoring affair, the Yeti beat San Jose 14-6 in their last road game. Noble still threw more interceptions in this game than touchdowns; Colorado's points came exclusively from Bojo Kicksit extra points and the defense, who took both an interception and a fumble to the house.

At 6-5, Colorado sat on the outside looking in for the playoffs, a game behind Yellowknife and Baltimore in the standings with three games to play. Luckily for Colorado, they had the easiest schedule of the three remaining, not facing another team with a winning record until Baltimore in Week 14. Unluckily for Colorado, they dropped a home game to the league-worst Legion, 23-17. Noble's passing finally saw some life with two touchdown passes, but he also threw three interceptions in the second half and lost a fumble.

This was a brutal outcome for the Yeti. Now behind two full games to the Hawks, they did not control their own destiny and would require some luck to get into the playoffs. In Week 13, they took care of business at home enough to edge out the Liberty 27-20. Noble had as many touchdowns as interceptions for the first time in a while, but as it had all year, the Colorado offense looked labored and disjointed. There was good news, however: both the Wraiths and the Hawks had lost in Week 13, standing at 7-6 and 8-5 respectively. If the Yeti won and the Wraiths lost the next week, Colorado would be guaranteed a playoff spot regardless of tiebreakers. But with the Hawks having clinched a spot regardless, the outcome was out of Colorado's hands.

First, they needed to win their own game, which turned out to be quite easy. Perhaps looking ahead to the playoffs, the Hawks were blown out 43-10 in the Yeti's biggest victory of the season. Noble threw three touchdowns with no interceptions and Tweed added two on the ground.

Yet their efforts were too little, too late. The Wraiths, hosting the Otters, spent the first half in a shootout but pulled away comfortably in the third quarter to win 33-28. Since both teams held the same division record, the Wraiths edged out the Yeti based on points scored, 300 to 268. There was some discussion around whether this was entirely fair; the Yeti had a much better point differential than the Wraiths, +52 to +5, and were being punished for being a defensively oriented team. But Yellowknife got in, and Colorado watched the playoffs from home.

The team entered the offseason filled with questions, largely on the offensive side on the ball. Colorado finished the year with the second-worst passing offense, and Noble threw twenty interceptions to eighteen touchdowns. The running game was solid if unspectacular, but the true problem lay with the offensive line, who gave up more sacks than all but the Liberty. Of the five starters, only Gadget Tech and Antonio Sandoval were gaining TPE reasonably. No Yeti won a positional award for Season 2; Tweed and Hendrix won Pro Bowl spots on offense, while Wozy, Saint, Fulton, and Carter all earned spots on the defensive team.

Worryingly, Noble also voiced some concerns that the Yeti locker room had grown quieter and less energetic compared to the previous year, which he attributed to some of the best Season 1 locker room presences leaving the team in expansion. And there were also questions around the vaunted Yeti defense, who despite stellar linebacker play and points allowed were thoroughly average or below average in yards per game. One media piece's conclusion wrote:

Quote:The Colorado Yeti might have the most ambiguous future in the league, as it is quite hard to discern in which direction they are headed. For example, the SaberCats have made it clear they are taking steps in the right direction, and the Legion are headed into a downward spiral which will be even more apparent next season. The Yeti, if I had to pick, are going to miss the playoffs next season… The Season 1 Ultimus appearance should be savored, as it is not likely they make it back there any time in the near future.

In the leadup to the Season 3 Draft, in which Colorado would picking fourth, they made a few moves to begin addressing some of their problems. Notably, the Yeti paid $5 million for the services of offensive lineman Shjom Finkenlarkin on a one-year contract. The team also extended Logan Noble through Season 5 and star running back Boss Tweed through Season 6, the latter on a very cheap $3 million deal.

Then Colorado made a blockbuster trade on September 5, the day before the draft, by trading their first and second rounders to Las Vegas in exchange for the first overall selection. Clearly, the team felt strongly about taking their preferred player and believed the Yeti depth only needed a few strong reinforcements to make the playoffs again. Who did they select with their picks?

Pick 1 – Antonio Sandoval, OL @TheMemeMaestro
Pick 20 – Rico Rodriguez, OL @Elhomi
Pick 28 – Jaquan Young, WR @jpd
Pick 36 – Jughead Jones, OL @GilfredTheGreat
Pick 44 – Shi'tterick Skidmarks, DT @Armagetiton
Pick 52 – Sebastian Joyce, TE @Jepox

One can clearly see the GM's priorities with these six rookies. Three of the six were offensive linemen, most notably the first overall selection Antonio Sandoval, who had spent most of the prior year as a waiver pickup for the Yeti. The team also finally picked up a defensive tackle and added depth receiving options for Noble to throw to.

But as a keen-eyed reader might have noticed in the last paragraph, there was only one GM making these picks, and it was neither deadend nor PigSnout. The former went inactive midway through the season for unspecified reasons and only ever posted again once in April 2018 to retire Hendrix. The latter was busier than anticipated because of his school workload and didn't have enough time to GM the team effectively.

Noble conducted a GM search within the Yeti organization to find someone to step up. The winning candidate actually ended up being TheMemeMaestro, who picked himself at first overall (although PigSnout's final GM decision was to trade up to that pick). Maestro was well-liked by his teammates and former GMs, although it was unfortunate that Colorado was now on its third GM team in just as many seasons. Two days later, on September 11, @Daybe was announced as Maestro's co-GM.

Daybe was the first Colorado GM not already on the team, and his arrival there came in a flurry of trades in Maestro's first days in team leadership. Alongside extending Johnathan Saint through the end of Season 6, his first major move as GM was to trade starting defensive end Big Bot and cornerback Philippe Carter to Arizona in exchange for receiver Mayran Jackson (@Kendrick), safety Vash Erikson (@Zeegee), and a second-round pick in the S4 Draft.

This was a head-scratching move. The Yeti defense was the pride and joy of the team, and both Carter and Bot were young, earning stars. Vash Erikson was a downgrade in the secondary, albeit still an active player, but the real problem here was Mayran Jackson. Although Hendrix and Law were both inactive, Jackson's addition created a clear overflow at the receiver position for the Yeti, and they would be pressed to trade away one of their pieces for cheap.

The next trade was the one to obtain Daybe's player, cornerback Brice Boggs. He came packaged with Yellowknife's third and fifth in the Season 4 draft in exchange for the Yeti's second, Arizona's second, and linebacker Wyatt Fulton. This meant that incite, the founder of the team, was no longer in the Colorado organization.

The third exchange in three days was with Las Vegas and solidified that Colorado was looking to rebuild. They shipped off two of their Season 2 rookies, defensive end Blaster Blade and receiver Jon Ross, in exchange for defensive end Bisquiteen Crockner, a first and fourth in the Season 4 draft, and a fifth in the draft afterwards. It was publicly known that Ross wanted a trade out of Colorado, and as consequence of the Jackson trade, the Yeti downgraded significantly on the defensive line.

But the news of these trades was quickly overshadowed. On September 15, 2017, HO posted a punishment on the forum against Noble. Independent investigation by @Muford tipped Head Office off five days earlier that Noble, despite not posting in many of the PT threads, still boasted of having the highest TPE of any user on the site. Looking into it further, HO concluded that Noble abused his moderation powers to edit TPE claim threads and his PT posts, and then deleted the relevant change logs, to the tune of 73 illegally granted TPE.

Noble was banned from the site for two weeks, from playing for Season 3, and from league jobs for five seasons, as well as being fined $10 million and the 73 TPE stolen. There was feverish discussion in the league community over this punishment, which was largely perceived as being way too lenient on a serial cheater like Noble. Noble himself in the league discord clarified that he wasn't sorry for cheating and felt entitled to the TPE but would likely never return to activity and would leave his corpse on the Yeti after the end of his ban.

[Image: Q4Sc5uX.png]

In the interim, however, what was Colorado to do? They had just lost their star quarterback for the entire season and had no backups on the roster to replace him. In danger of having to start a bot, the Yeti were done a solid by the Outlaws, who gave them backup quarterback Vincent Draxel for the price of a Season 5 seventh rounder, essentially free.

Colorado was out of hot water, but they didn't settle for Draxel's minimal talents. The day after the suspension was announced, they flipped the questionably active Luke Tiernan to the Wraiths for their original S4 second-round pick, Yellowknife's S5 fifth, and a very active young quarterback in Nicholas Pierno.

The wheeling and dealing just kept on chugging the next day. Colorado sent San Jose three players who apparently wanted out: Torque Lewith, Gadget Tech, and the recently acquired Mayran Jackson. In return for the trio and a conditional S5 third, the Yeti received an offensive line replacement in Ben Longshaw (@dropbear), the Sabercats' S4 first-rounder, and a third and fifth in S5. Unbelievably, Colorado still had one more trade in their system, exchanging Kieran O'Connell for an S4 fourth, running back Michael Newman (@mnewman19), and linebacker Arby Krimlaw (@WisconsinBadgers) from Philly.

By the time this final trade was processed, there were only hours to go before Season 3 started. Colorado had entered the offseason seemingly poised to again be a playoff contender if they could fix the few notable holes in their roster. Instead, GM turnover sparked a full-scale demolition. The fearsome Yeti defense had been stripped of many of its top players, with only Fuego Wozy and Johnathan Saint remaining as true stars, and there was now a new long-term quarterback. However, this rebuild wasn't entirely without reason. Once the top team in the league in TPE earning, the Yeti had slipped down to the middle of the pack, riddled with a number of lower earners and inactives. On many occasions, Maestro alluded that a good few of the traded players were unhappy and had wanted out regardless. The hope was that the fragments of these trades could find a sense of cohesion once the season started, and the plethora of draft picks acquired in the S4 and S5 drafts would pay off through active players.

Season 3

"No one expected the Yeti to be an elite defense after all their trades, but what a fall it's been for Colorado."

Boss Tweed. Kendrick Hendrix. Fuego Wozy. Alex Hayden. Johnathon Saint. Bojo Kicksit. These six players were the only ones to stay in the same place on the depth chart as Season 2. At every other position, changes ensued:

Quarterback: Noble was on the bench for at least the season, possibly longer, and there was a new quarterback in town. Nicholas Pierno took the starting job, with Vincent Draxel holding the clipboard on the sidelines.

Running Back: Boss Tweed resumed his domination in the backfield, taking most of the available touches and leading the league with 1375 rushing yards. But O'Connell was gone, replaced in the trade to Philadelphia that added his replacement Michael Newman to the roster and to his previous spot.

Wide Receiver: The absence of D.J. Law in the WR2 spot is noticeable because he was left unscathed by the multitude of offseason trades. But before Week 9 of Season 3, the Yeti orchestrated a blockbuster trade that shook up many of these position groups. Law, offensive lineman Bender Rodriguez, and three seasons of cap relief were traded to Yellowknife; in their place, along with an S5 fifth round pick, were four new players. Receiver Damian West (@GoodLeftUndone) took Law's place in the pecking order at wideout, leapfrogging young rookie Jaquan Young.

Tight End: Rich Gucci had two more seasons remaining on his Yeti contract and didn't play a single snap during either of them. Late draft pick Sebastian Joyce took up the mantle of starting tight end, although his production can be generously described as measly.

Offensive Line: Antonio Sandoval was the only returning starter in this group. Despite having the second highest rating of the group, behind trade acquisition Ben Longshaw, he didn't play at tackle opposite Longshaw – that job went to rookie tackle Rico Rodriguez. The other two interior linemen were free agent signing Shjom Finkenlarkin and transplant Tyron Smith (@TyronSmith), the second new player from the mid-season trade.

Defensive Line: For the second year in a row, Colorado rolled out only three humans on the defensive line. Instead of playing alongside fearsome alliterative S2 draft picks in Blaster Blade and Big Bot, Wozy now had for company a late S3 rookie in Shi'terrick Skidmarks and former Legion Bisquiteen Crocker.

Linebacker: Tiernan and Fulton were gone to the winds. Complementing the Season 1 Linebacker of the Year now were two trade acquisitions: Arby Krimlaw, obtained in the O'Connell trade, and Reginald Hampshireton (@Zdot), the third new player gained mid-season. Steve Austin took advantage of the lesser competition to move up the depth chart and rank third in production among the position.

Secondary: New GM Brice Boggs was only the third ever cornerback to be rostered by Colorado, and he filled right in beside Alex Hayden where Carter used to play. Deeper in the backfield, Roman Thomas supplanted Mike McNoodle as the primary strong safety and Levon Novel (@andybj), formerly a Wraith, edged McNoodle out of a starting job. More cleanly, departing free safety Torque Lewith's role was filled by the incoming Vash Erikson.

Special Teams: Boss Tweed became the third player in three years to assume primary duties as the kick returner, with Alex Hayden once again as a backup. Punting-wise, there would be no committee; Tweed fielded all 36 punts of the season.

The league community wasn't sure quite what to make of Colorado's chances this season. Some still predicted them to make the playoffs or at least come close; many, seeing the devastation their offseason trades had wrought, pegged the Yeti as one of the worst teams in the league and fighting with the Legion for the bottom of the barrel. The biggest problem sign? Pierno was active, but he was also a rookie, and his lower TPE portended major trouble if the Yeti couldn't rely on Tweed and their few defensive stars to bail them out.

The Yeti had a golden opportunity to get their season off on the right foot. In Week 1, they hosted the Legion at home and were favored to win by an -11.5-point spread. Colorado immediately came out in force by intercepting the Legion on their opening drive, taking it to the one-yard line, and punching Boss Tweed into the endzone on the offense's first play of the season. Then they forgot how to score for a solid three quarters before a fourth-quarter touchdown drive resulted in a 14-10 Yeti victory.

This was a good way to start the season… for the Legion, who managed to keep it close. This was a disastrous pyrrhic victory for the Yeti. Warning signs blared loudly. Pierno threw one touchdown and three interceptions with a 34.5, and WR1 Kendrick Hendrix came from the game with zero catches. Only the 110-yard performance of Tweed and the aforementioned near-pick six kept Colorado in the win column. A power rankings article from after Week 1 was not bullish on the Yeti after this performance, putting them last in the league:

Quote:Do you know what’s crazy? Until the Yeti win consistently past week 7, I am not going to buy anything about this team being good. Tweed is the lone bright spot. Putting Wraith loyal Pierno into the fire like that is going to make it bad, he has no support and the defense is solely Wozy, Boggs and Saint. Trading players that would make this team anything short of tanking could hurt morale and cause some issues down the road. Winning at home against the Legion, with that close a score should be a worry.

Believe it or not, this moment after Week 1 of Season 3 is the other high-water mark in the Yeti's all-time win/loss column, with the deficit once again at +5. The comparison to Week 7 of Season 1 casts quite a contrast. Back then, the team was flying high on top of the league already looking ahead to a potential Ultimus bout. Now, the Yeti were on far shakier ground, and the impending avalanche cast a large shadow.

In five games, that win/loss margin would turn from +5 to 0. The Colorado Yeti franchise has never again been above .500.

The drubbings rolled in with thunderous intensity. First, a 34-6 loss on the road to the Otters. The Yeti defense came up with a pair of picks, but Pierno threw four of his own, and the only points on the board came through Kicksit field goals. Next, a 28-6 home defeat at the hands of the Hawks. Another three interceptions from Pierno, and only ten completions on 31 attempts, gave him a monstrously bad 7.5 passer rating. For the curious, this is the sixth worst game passer rating in league history.

According to teammates like jparks, Pierno's user ralz9 was an active and energetic presence in the locker room and would be a great presence for the future. But it is hard to imagine that ralz9 and the rest of the Yeti were not growing despondent. After a 32-0 beatdown by the Outlaws and another pair of interceptions, Pierno was averaging a passer rating of 20.5 through four weeks of the season. Opposing teams stacked the box to mitigate Tweed, the only serious threat on the offense, and essentially dared the rookie to air it out.

The result was loss after loss after loss. 40-0 to the Sabercats in Week 5. 24-10 to the Wraiths in Week 6. 27-10 to the Outlaws in Week 7. 40-20 to the Liberty in Week 8. The Yeti had ascended to Legion levels of both mockery and pity from the league community. It was beyond clear that any shred of their former window was gone. The hope for Colorado now lay in the future, with the treasure chest of S4 and S5 draft picks they had squeezed from their previous roster. It was at this point in the season that the Yeti squeezed further with the previously mentioned trade for four ex-Wraiths.

September 29 was the date of Week 8 of the regular season, but it was also the date when Noble's two-week forum ban lapsed. One might have expected Noble to keep his word and use this opportunity to step away from the NSFL altogether. But upon his return, he immediately scheduled a presser and invited league members to ask any and all questions, both in and out of character, that they desired. The community obliged him with a plethora of kind, forgiving questions, such as:

Quote:Are you afraid you're going to be even more terrible than you were in S2 now that you will be unable to cheat?

Quote:Why are you such an egotistical asshole ?

Quote:are you a pathological cheater or are you just masochistic and enjoy being hated

Quote:How many times did you say that you had more class than us and did it ever occur to you what a hypocrite you were on those occasions?

A bit of the pot calling the kettle black from kolbe here.

Quote:Writing PTs literally takes five minutes, what the fuck?

Thankfully for posterity, Noble did not back down from his promise and answered quite a few of these questions through an article posted the next day. He clarified that he would not be coming back nearly as active as he had previously been but wanted to clear the air and position switch to a more useful spot for Colorado in Season 4. He did not ask for forgiveness, and even acknowledged that his offenses and history probably deserved a harsher punishment, though he stopped short of apologizing for his actions or refusing to justify his motives.

Of course, in response to the "egotistical asshole" question from above, Noble laid bare his thought process in an answer so riveting, self-conceited, and ignorant that it instantly became an icon of league culture and one of, if not the most famous copypastas in league history. I feel obligated to quote it in its entirety for any readers who haven't been blessed enough to encounter it yet.

Quote:The simple and short answer is because I'm a fifteen year old BOY who's too popular in his city. I've put myself up on a pedestal due to my popularity in Saskatoon and so I carry it wherever I go. I'm the guy who I told myself I would never be and I hate it, so I'm trying to change it. I admit my wrongs, I attempt to correct my mistakes, and I'm listening to opinions while keeping myself open to critics. Honestly, the egotistical part just comes from, well, my inflated ego due to being at the top here, and being at the top in Saskatoon. Instagram creates a platform of instant gratification for me, and so it's hyper ego inflation at it's finest.

Replies to this article immediately piled on Noble's apparent lack of regret and his batshit justification for feeling entitled to cheating in a sim league. Interestingly, ralz9 came out and said that he would never share a locker room with Noble and that several others on the team felt a similar way, a sentiment which no other Yeti player or management stated publicly. In a presser of his own, Daybe clarified that Colorado would be keeping Noble at least through the end of Season 3 but that his future with the team afterwards was a matter up in the air.

Meanwhile, the Yeti snapped their ugly losing streak by stealing a game at home against Yellowknife, 16-7. Pierno still threw no scores and two interceptions, but Colorado edged out the visiting team through three field goals and an Alex Hayden pick six. For the first time all season, the weekly power rankings articles put the Yeti above the Legion and in seventh place.

Then the losing resumed in a particularly brutal fashion when Colorado suffered its third shutout loss of the season in a 47-0 bout against Baltimore. Existence was pain for the Yeti, and it might have been worse the next week after a surprisingly close game against the Otters. Colorado came back from a 13-3 halftime deficit to take the lead at 24-20 early in the fourth, then fell behind 27-24 after a responding scoring drive and 30-24 after a field goal. The Yeti, with 5 minutes and 91 yards to go, worked the ball all the way to the Otters 36 with time to spare before Pierno threw an interception and lost the game.

More indignities came the next week when the Yeti lost to the lowly Legion 14-10, then to the Hawks 33-32 in perhaps the year's strangest shootout. Once again, the Yeti had the opportunity to drive down the field, this time needing only around 40 to 50 yards to set up a game-winning field goal attempt. Once again, they couldn't complete the comeback attempt, this time by turning it over on downs through four straight incompletions.

The playoff dream was long dead, but that didn't stop the Yeti from coming out in Week 14 and taking out a season of frustrations on the poor Sabercats, to the tune of a 34-6 rout. For the first and only time in Season 3, Pierno threw more touchdowns than interceptions in a game, and Tweed added his fourth rushing score of the year. Even in such a victory, the offense was largely boosted by defensive plays, as Levon Novel and Antonio Sandoval (the offensive lineman!) combined for three pick sixes. Do not ask me why Sandoval was taking snaps at defense.

And with that, the season from hell finally ended. The Yeti placed higher only than the Legion with a 3-11 season record. Pierno threw eight touchdowns to a mind-boggling 35 interceptions, which despite the 14-game season still remains the NSFL record. Only six Yeti players earned a Pro Bowl selection: Tweed, Finkenlarken, Wozy, Saint, Hayden, and Kicksit.

There were both positive and negative signs on the horizon for Colorado. They had ample cap room to work with, four first round picks in the next two draft classes, a couple promising rookies, and an unresolved Noble position switch to fill at least one need. On the negative side, Pierno's supporting cast was ridiculously hostile, with only Tweed and Sandoval standing out against a seriously subpar and inactive cast of receivers and linemen. And worryingly, many of the picks acquired through trades were beginning to look rather less valuable. The Season 4 draft class was far smaller than expected and threatened to make much of Colorado's trade yield disappear entirely.

Many pundits expected the Yeti to swing for big free agents, especially Otters quarterback Mike Boss. But for the most part, Colorado was quiet. Having extended Damian West through Season 6 during the regular season, the Yeti were largely content to add one year onto a number of their resident inactive contracts and signed a new inactive in defensive tackle Josh Cameron (@CamBrady). The only large money handed out during the offseason was to Alex Hayden, who they placed a RFA tag upon and then matched the Wraiths lucrative offer of $18 million over three years. Unfortunately for the Yeti, this contract also included an out for Hayden should he choose to leave after Season 4 through player options.

The team did make one trade, swapping the second and sixth overall picks in the S4 Draft to the Legion in exchange for the Legion's first in S5 and $2 million cap space in Season 4. They, along with the rest of the NSFL, also benefitted from an announcement from HO on October 23 restructuring how offensive lines worked. GMs could now pay for OL bots of various tiers, and players were free to position swap to a different role with no charge.

Perhaps the Yeti didn't like what they saw in the Season 4 draft class. The smallest in league history to that point, the draft only went two full rounds and eighteen players in total. The Yeti held only two picks that counted, at third and tenth overall:

Pick 3 – Haruki Ishigawa, LB @ExemplaryChad
Pick 10 – Tommy Brown, WR @tbrown0307

There was one last piece of business to sort before the season started: what to do with Logan Noble. Colorado was working on a possible trade with an unspecified team to get some return value for Noble, who decided not to recreate in the next draft class. Unfortunately for the Yeti, events soon transpired that rendered all of this moot.

When Noble had been punished and fined, he reached out to the banker @ItsJustBarry and asked whether his bank account would reset if he retired and recreated. Barry told him that balances were tied to users, not players, and his negative bank balance would carry over to a new player. Hours after this exchange, a new user named @'dustyatters' created shortly before the DSFL Draft and, within hours of that, created an update page, a 5000 word highly detailed draft article, and claims for TPE and season equipment. Dusty took to the league like a fish to water.

As he continued to rocket to stardom, taking a job as updater and updating almost half the league – including some ineligible TPE for himself – Dusty's fishiness grew more and more apparent, particularly to Barry and a few friends. When it is discovered that Dusty happens to be signing in from the same IP address as Noble, the matter is brought to the attention of Head Office. They confronted the two users, who claimed to be high school friends and volleyball teammates, and on October 31 posted an official punishment banning Noble, Dusty, and their IP addresses from the site. Logan Noble was once again suspended for the season.

League discussion was more split on the second go-around. A number of guest accounts purporting to be Noble and Dusty responded to the thread, posted a picture of them together and even sent a video of them talking about the NSFL to HO. For a few users, this was enough reasonable doubt to make a permanent ban seem too harsh, even if they thought the first punishment had been too light. For a solid majority of the league, however, Noble had lost any shred of a claim to reasonable doubt. There was no need to keep giving such a serial cheater an avenue back into the league. The punishment remained in place, and Noble, for the time being, was out of the NSFL.

Sometimes you don't know you're in the good old days until you've already left them. The Yeti stared down Season 4 as a consensus bottom two team in the league, and more often than not were viewed as being worse than even the Legion. The new GMs had blown up the supporting cast of their first championship window. What remained were the scant few stars left unscathed and a lot of draft capital. The hope was to rebuild Colorado from the bottom up, emerging within a season or two back into the fold of contention.

What they didn't know is that they were only just now coming down from the summit. Not a soul in the franchise could fathom how much further they would have to fall to reach rock bottom.

Continued in Volume II

Section Contributors:
@bex
@Starboy

Sources and Further Reading