01-29-2022, 01:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-31-2022, 05:38 PM by Crunk. Edited 1 time in total.)
I read the retirement thread of future Hall of Fame kicker Jacob Small when it was posted yesterday, and it filled me with some emotion. On the surface level, I’m obviously happy that bjkman had such a successful career with Small. There has been a renaissance of kickers in the ISFL after the dark days following the original Kicker Mafia’s retirements and Kulture Fulture racking up awards practically by default. I was part of the early stages of this wave, although I can’t claim any credit for its existence, and I’m glad to have been surrounded through my entire career by wonderful, Hall of Fame level competition, from older folks like Alex D. and Alfredo Crisco to newer guys like Jacob Small and Sam Sidekick.
But the thread also made me sad. It feels like ages ago that I announced my first player’s unexpected retirement. Morgan Marshall was never the player I wanted him to be, and I didn’t want to slog along for nearly two real-life years working for TPE for a running back that couldn’t do anything exceptionally well. So I hit the reset button faster than anyone was expecting and started again. This time I went for a kicker, a position that had far less competition for starting positions than running back, and Venus Powers was going to be my ticket to a long, successful, and Hall of Fame level career, hopefully one where I could finally overcome my postseason woes and win a title.
It was going wonderfully. By the conclusion of season 25, my career was going about as well as I could possibly have hoped. Venus Powers had been to the Pro Bowl every year of her career, either as a punter or kicker or both. She had two Punter of the Year awards, had been one vote away from a threepeat, and now had two back-to-back Kicker of the Year awards as well. She had completed the fifth ever perfect season, and in the process smashed the ISFL record for most consecutive games and kicks without a miss (a record that I am unsure if I still hold, but I don’t want to check for fear of it being broken). She was even finally going to the playoffs, something which had not yet happened after five seasons of dismal Liberty and Hahalua squads. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But life got in the way. Getting into college, and the general stresses of senior year, consumed my time and efforts. I just couldn’t invest emotionally in the ISFL anymore, and after turning over leadership of the Player Progression Team to Kyamprac, I went inactive for over a year. I did other things, got admitted to and started college, struggled with my identity, and only interacted with a select few league members through playing in and modding games in a Werewolf server. It crossed my mind a few times to return to Venus, but I just didn’t.
And when the subject of the ISFL got brought up in passing in the WW server this January, and I returned to the forums for the first time in over a literal year, I was overcome with a feeling of loss, a feeling I felt once again when reading Small’s retirement thread. By leaving midway through the journey, I had failed to achieve the long-term dreams that I had envisioned for myself when I created Powers. I didn’t play 13 seasons – I lasted 11, with a 12th and final year spent on the waivers playing for no one because I had been replaced in Honolulu by a new franchise starter. I didn’t rack up any more awards since my inactivity automatically disqualified me from winning any more Pro Bowls or positional awards. And I only qualified for the playoffs three times, with one career playoff win to my name. Honolulu won its first franchise Ultimus the first season I was off the team, because of course they did.
Most painfully of all, I didn’t get to retire on my terms, bowing out with grace with a big sentimental retirement thread where I could point to all of my hard-won accomplishments. I wanted so badly when retiring Marshall to have my second player go out on top, capping off a long and successful HOF-bound career instead of retiring after four seasons. In reality, I ended up just another inactive name on the seasonal regression lists.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of this article is beyond the superficial goal of pumping up my bank reserves. I know (or at least hope) that even without the grand triumphant exit, and even without the awards she could’ve won in the back end of her career, Venus Powers will be a Hall of Famer when she becomes eligible in the S35 offseason. This is just me getting some overdue closure on the player I created over two years ago.
Thanks to Philadelphia for drafting me and Honolulu for giving me a new home.
4x Pro Bowl Selection - Punter (S20/21/22/23)
3x Pro Bowl Selection - Kicker (S21/24/25)
2x ISFL Punter of the Year (S21/22)
2x ISFL Kicker of the Year (S24/25)
ISFL Record - Most Consecutive Games Without a Missed Kick (29)
ISFL Record - Most Consecutive Kicks Without a Miss (133)
4th all-time field goals made (294)
4th all-time field goals attempted (323)
9th all-time field goal percentage (91.0%)
9th all-time most extra points made (371)
10th all-time most extra points attempted (377)
8th all-time punts (838)
9th all-time punting yards (39356)
8th all-time punts inside the 20 (159)
6th all-time points (1253)
(936 words)
But the thread also made me sad. It feels like ages ago that I announced my first player’s unexpected retirement. Morgan Marshall was never the player I wanted him to be, and I didn’t want to slog along for nearly two real-life years working for TPE for a running back that couldn’t do anything exceptionally well. So I hit the reset button faster than anyone was expecting and started again. This time I went for a kicker, a position that had far less competition for starting positions than running back, and Venus Powers was going to be my ticket to a long, successful, and Hall of Fame level career, hopefully one where I could finally overcome my postseason woes and win a title.
It was going wonderfully. By the conclusion of season 25, my career was going about as well as I could possibly have hoped. Venus Powers had been to the Pro Bowl every year of her career, either as a punter or kicker or both. She had two Punter of the Year awards, had been one vote away from a threepeat, and now had two back-to-back Kicker of the Year awards as well. She had completed the fifth ever perfect season, and in the process smashed the ISFL record for most consecutive games and kicks without a miss (a record that I am unsure if I still hold, but I don’t want to check for fear of it being broken). She was even finally going to the playoffs, something which had not yet happened after five seasons of dismal Liberty and Hahalua squads. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But life got in the way. Getting into college, and the general stresses of senior year, consumed my time and efforts. I just couldn’t invest emotionally in the ISFL anymore, and after turning over leadership of the Player Progression Team to Kyamprac, I went inactive for over a year. I did other things, got admitted to and started college, struggled with my identity, and only interacted with a select few league members through playing in and modding games in a Werewolf server. It crossed my mind a few times to return to Venus, but I just didn’t.
And when the subject of the ISFL got brought up in passing in the WW server this January, and I returned to the forums for the first time in over a literal year, I was overcome with a feeling of loss, a feeling I felt once again when reading Small’s retirement thread. By leaving midway through the journey, I had failed to achieve the long-term dreams that I had envisioned for myself when I created Powers. I didn’t play 13 seasons – I lasted 11, with a 12th and final year spent on the waivers playing for no one because I had been replaced in Honolulu by a new franchise starter. I didn’t rack up any more awards since my inactivity automatically disqualified me from winning any more Pro Bowls or positional awards. And I only qualified for the playoffs three times, with one career playoff win to my name. Honolulu won its first franchise Ultimus the first season I was off the team, because of course they did.
Most painfully of all, I didn’t get to retire on my terms, bowing out with grace with a big sentimental retirement thread where I could point to all of my hard-won accomplishments. I wanted so badly when retiring Marshall to have my second player go out on top, capping off a long and successful HOF-bound career instead of retiring after four seasons. In reality, I ended up just another inactive name on the seasonal regression lists.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of this article is beyond the superficial goal of pumping up my bank reserves. I know (or at least hope) that even without the grand triumphant exit, and even without the awards she could’ve won in the back end of her career, Venus Powers will be a Hall of Famer when she becomes eligible in the S35 offseason. This is just me getting some overdue closure on the player I created over two years ago.
Thanks to Philadelphia for drafting me and Honolulu for giving me a new home.
4x Pro Bowl Selection - Punter (S20/21/22/23)
3x Pro Bowl Selection - Kicker (S21/24/25)
2x ISFL Punter of the Year (S21/22)
2x ISFL Kicker of the Year (S24/25)
ISFL Record - Most Consecutive Games Without a Missed Kick (29)
ISFL Record - Most Consecutive Kicks Without a Miss (133)
4th all-time field goals made (294)
4th all-time field goals attempted (323)
9th all-time field goal percentage (91.0%)
9th all-time most extra points made (371)
10th all-time most extra points attempted (377)
8th all-time punts (838)
9th all-time punting yards (39356)
8th all-time punts inside the 20 (159)
6th all-time points (1253)
(936 words)
Transgender lesbian, S15 veteran, media extraordinaire, and the sim's punching bag. Fascists and bigots are welcome to fuck off.
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For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
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— — —
— — —
For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
— — —