(S34) PT 5 - Botchamania

[KelsBells]

After some heavy rain in the off-season, KCC realise they forgot to replace their groundskeeper. 

[Jangorhino]

in week ten minnesota grey ducks and kansas city coyotes played each other for first place in the conference.  in the big game our team had four costly penalties that played a big part in the final outcome of the game. the first penalty of the game was a tripping penalty on defensive end patty pumpernickle. the penalty was for ten yards and that gave minnesota a first down. the second penalty was a false start on out tight end virginia emmet for 5 yards which created a third and fifteen. the third penalty was a big one in the fourth quarter. the penalty was for roughing the passer and the penalty was fifteen yards. the penalty moved minnesota to the kansas city 28 yard line. minnesota eventually kicked a field goal on the drive which was the difference in the score. the fourth penalty was also a big penalty. nuetral zone infraction was the call on our defensive lineman Mac Encheez. the penalty gave minnesota a first down on a third and four play. minnesota ended up scoring a touch down in the drive to win the game. 

Code:

188 words

[iStegosauruz]

Considering Mister Hogmolly has yet to officially suit up for a team this season its virtually impossible for me to critique his performance. What I can do instead is critique the performance of every other team in the league for not employing a pig in a tux with a monocle to catch footballs. Pigs on a football team are a huge advantage for a number of reasons. First, the ball in football is colloquially called a "pigskin" which means that pigs inherently have an understanding of the sport AND have the potential of blending in with the ball (don't question it). Pigs also love to roll around in mud which could act as a lubricant of sorts to help avoid being tackled. Yes, football players are familiar with the concept of playing on muddy fields - football is a sport where you get tackled to the ground - but tackling a slicked up hog is a much different endeavor. Every team should employ a pig, and luckily this coming season every team will finally have a chance to do just that.

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Biggest botch of the season for San Jose? Easily our tie against Philadelphia in Week 11. I mean first of all, it's Philadelphia. If you don't win against them I mean that's an automatic in the botch column. Straight to botch. But this requires 150 words so let's dive a little bit deeper, shall we? Philadelphia had an absolutely atrocious game against us and yet we still could not seal the deal. First of all, they missed 4 field goals. FOUR! I feel like you gotta try to miss that many field goals. Usually you don't go back to the kicker for a fourth shank and a miss but they did. That inability to score alone should have left the door wide open for us to snatch a W. Not to mention Panda McKyle playing an absolute stunner of a game at quarterback for us. I mean just getting to overtime is basically a coin flip. I mean almost a literal coin flip to decide the winner. And in our case the coin landed on its side, unbelievable. What killed us? Turnovers of course, what else could it have been? A couple poorly timed fumbles and absolutely nothing going in the run game and now here we sit half a game behind the rest of the teams on the playoff bubble. With margins this thin going down to the wire, that's absolutely going to kill us. We had the game handed to us on a silver platter and WE BLEW IT.

[Raven]

WSBL PT

[Urq660]

SHL Affiliate

[AL_GRINGO]

WSBL PT

[Z-Whiz]

The biggest botch in the game has happened to all of us. Clock management. It's like all these coaches went to the same TED talk on how to improperly manage the game clock. If you've watched any amount of games, you've surely seen the mysterious "spike" play. Spiking in the NFL happens all the time, yes, no argument from me there. However, you never see it happen with a minute left and your team inside the redzone. Let me run you through the standard set of plays. 1st and 10 from the 15, 90 seconds left, team down by 3. Team complete an 8 yard pass to the 7. 2nd and 3 with 70 seconds left, QB spikes the ball. Now 3rd and 3 with 60 seconds left. Incomplete pass on 4th down, tie the game with a FG but leave 50 seconds for the other team to inevitably march down the field and kick a game winning FG. Great clock management! Way to save time and waste a down! Lovely as always.

[C9Van]

SHL Affiliate

[Baron1898]

This is by no means the most important game botch, nor is it even one that happened to Regina Ferraro personally, but it just happened so it is fresh on my mind. Why oh why did our playcaller, whoever that might be, decide to punt it away from the opponent's 30 yard line instead of doing the obvious thing and kicking a very easily makeable field goal? This happens all the time in this league and it drives me wild. This would be bad enough without context, but with context it is unforgivable. That game went to overtime and Dallas ended up losing the bout. If they had scored their last touchdown and been up three points instead of tied because they had kicked that easy field goal, Dallas would probably have won the game and essentially secured playoff positioning. Because our coordinator didn't call for the kick, Dallas now has to fend off Bondi Beach for the second spot in the conference over these last two weeks.