*ISFL Week 5 Report

Void_DCXI

Hey all. So I know it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to start doing this now, but my schedule is a little bit more free and I don’t wanna wait until next season so here we go! Sorry if this concept has been used before, I’m not intending to steal anyone’s ideas but I haven’t seen something like this for a bit so I’m gonna try it out.

CHI

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We go on down to Chicago for our first game of the week, a clash between two 2-2 teams looking to strengthen their playoff hopes. After an opening drive three and out from the Butchers offense, a sack from Franklin Turtle jars the ball out of Live Laughlove’s hands, and the Butchers recover! The butchers use the great field position to their advantage, with Lulu Muhammad Zohri punching it in for 6! After another Yeti punt, the Butchers march down the field and Zohri puts it in once more! The Yeti are able to muster some offense, getting a rushing touchdown from Live Laughlove to make it 14-7. A Yeti pass is intercepted by the veteran Tessie Garciaperra all the way for a touchdown! The Yeti respond quickly though, and a 68 yard touchdown pass to Mister Hogmally makes it a one score game. Zohri breaks off a 58 yard run and the Butchers get a field goal to make the score 24-14 Butchers at halftime.

The Yeti’s halftime adjustments seem to pay off, as they get another long touchdown throw from Laughlove, this time an 89 yarder, to Rocky Moreaux for the score! A Frank Dux fumble is recovered by the Yeti, and it looks like this one is gonna come down to the wire! Unfortunately, the Yeti can’t capitalize and both teams trade punts for a while, until Cross-Erikson picks off Carter’s pass and takes it all the way! The Yeti now lead 28-24 after being down 21-7 early. The teams trade passing touchdowns, but the Butchers are unable to score the 2 point try, and trail 35-30. Another interception from the Yeti will seal this one, as the offense gets another touchdown with the short field position and the Yeti come back for a 42-30 win on the road.

The player of the game for this one is Live Laughlove of the Yeti, whose 4 touchdowns and 356 passing yards elevated the team to a come-from-behind road win, which as we all know are few and far between in this league.

BER

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(Crush)

This time a pair of 1-3 teams take the stage, looking to keep their playoff hopes alive with a win tonight. Though the Crush fumble in the red zone early, the Fire Salamanders are unable to capitalize, and the Crush jump out to a 7-0 lead after a 51 yard touchdown throw from Singh to Sama. Orange Justice puts Berlin on the board with a 3 yard run to tie it up at 7-7. Cape Town respond with another touchdown throw from Singh, this time looking for Jarvis Harbinger-Marjin. This time it’s Berlin who fumbles the ball and the Crush recover. They’re unable to score, but they soon get another turnover, this time an interception from Dominos Pizzaman! Though the drive stalls out again, this time they get a field goal to make it 17-7, and that’s where the score will be at halftime.

Roque Santa-Cruz finally gets a big throw to start the 2nd half, a 61 yard touchdown to Octavio Pérez! It’s now 17-14 Crush. Another big throw from Santa-Cruz sets up a 5 yard touchdown, again looking for Pérez. Berlin now leads 21-17. Looking to get back on his rhythm, Singh slings it right to Tae Dawson, who picks it off and sets up the Salamanders at the Crush’s 5 yard line! Berlin finds the end zone not long after, with another Santa-Cruz throw to Maximillion Hamilton. A sack fumble recovered by Berlin only leads to another Santa-Cruz interception, as he’s picked off by Theo Lariat! Lonnie Johnson finds the end zone not soon after, and the Crush make it a 3 point game following a successful 2 point try. With time winding down, Singh gets it to his man American Boot for a 29 yard touchdown! Berlin can’t answer, and the Crush escape Germany with a 32-28 win over the Fire Salamanders.

The player of the game for this one has gotta go to Dominos Pizzaman, who forced a fumble, recovered a fumble, deflected a pass, and even intercepted a pass! An all-around performance from the veteran linebacker, and a win for Cape Town.

SJS

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The 1-3 Otters meet the 2-2 Sabercats in a must-win for Orange County for their playoff hopes. After a pair of punts from both offenses, Owen Farrell throws a 61 yard touchdown to his favorite tight end Deshawn Penne! Orange County gets on the board with a field goal to make it 7-3, but CG Breezy finds the end zone on a one-yard run to make it 14-3. The Otters respond quickly with a 76 yard touchdown throw from Shinomiya to Hodges! 14-10 Sabercats. A 38 yard throw from Farrell sets up another 1 yard score for Breezy, and the Sabercats lead 21-10. Ferrell looks to expand the lead, but throws a pick to Doc Holliday! The Otters capitalize with a field goal, and at halftime the score is 21-13 Sabercats.

The Otters start the second half with a field goal to cut the deficit to 5. Though the Otters fumble and San Jose recovers, the Sabercats can’t capitalize and the score remains 21-16. The Sabercats later kick a field goal to make it 24-16. A series of penalties cause the next Orange County drive to stall and they take the field goal. The Sabercats hold on to the ball and run the clock out, winning 24-19.

Deshawn Penne’s 6 receptions for 138 yards and a touchdown will earn him the player of the game honors for this one, though CG Breezy made a hard case with his 2 touchdowns. San Jose improves to 2-3 on the year, and their playoff prospects are looking good.

YKW

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Two undefeated teams take the field in Yellowknife, looking to take the other team’s 0. Kumquat Archipelago breaks off runs of 17, 20, and 10 yards on the drive, with the last one finding him in the end zone! 7-0 Wraiths. The Sailfish surgically make their way down the field, ending with a 10 yard touchdown pass from Carter Knight to Nick Kaepercolin Jr to tie it up at 7-7. A 47 yard throw from Knight leads to a 1 yard Pete Zuh touchdown, and they take a 14-7 lead. A missed field goal from Yellowknife turns into a made field goal from Sarasota, and we go to halftime with a 17-7 Sailfish lead.

Adrian St. Christmas finds the end zone with a 22 yard pass to Cliff Burton, and the score is 17-14. Soon after, St. Christmas gets another touchdown, this time with help from Bernd D. Brot to make it 21-17. After another failed Sarasota drive, Archipelago gets another touchdown to make it 28-17. Knight finds Kaepercolin again for a touchdown, but they can’t get the 2 point try and it’s 28-23 Wraiths. St. Christmas is intercepted by Justin Cloud, and Knight immediately finds Lucius Salem for a 34 yard strike to take the lead! A successful 2 point conversion puts the score at 31-28 Sailfish. The Wraiths put together a 2 minute drill for the ages, capped off with another touchdown to Burton, and the Wraiths make it 34-31 after the failed XP. Knight launches it 52 yards for Kaepercolin and they unbelievably hit the game-tying field goal with just seconds left. We’re going to OT! Though both teams had multiple chances, it was the Wraiths that sealed it in overtime, winning 37-34!

Bernd D. Brot will take home player of the game honors with his 5 reception, 113 yard and 1 touchdown performance! The Wraiths are full steam ahead right now, as they move to 5-0 on the year.

ARI

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Two 3-1 teams take center stage in New Orleans, with the Outlaws looking to defend their crown with a 3rd straight Ultimus. Danny Nedelko’s 21 yard run only leads to a field goal as the Outlaws get an early 3-0 lead. The Second Line answer right back, with a 26 yard touchdown throw to PeePee Poop-Eater Sr to take a 6-3 lead after the missed extra point. A 5 yard The Stig run gives New Orleans a 13-3 lead following a successful extra point this time. The Outlaws try a 55 yard field goal from Witchqueen as time expires on the first half, and it’s through the uprights to make it 13-6 Second Line.

Jones gets his second touchdown of the day on a pass to Rockbot Rockbo, and the Second Line lead 20-6. The Second Line then connect with a field goal to make it a 3 score game. Another field goal makes it 26-6. The Outlaws finally find the end zone with a 1 yard touchdown pass from Will Sailor, but it’s no use as a 15 yard Armor Queen touchdown puts the game out of reach for Arizona. Sailor does throw another touchdown to Stinkwater, but all it does is make fantasy owners happy as the Second Line’s stifling defense leads them to a 33-20 win over the reigning champs.

The player of the game here is gonna be Elessar Jones, who produced a nice efficient game to beat out Arizona. 283 yards, 2 touchdowns and 75% completion all with no interceptions for the 4th year Second Line starter.

HON

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The Copperheads roll into this one at the top of their division, while the Hahalua have yet to win a game. Their 20 game losing streak has seemingly no sign of stopping soon, but maybe they can pull off the trap game upset? Ozamataz Buckshank makes it 7-0 Copperheads on the opening drive, so maybe not. The Hahalua do respond with a field goal on their first drive, which I consider a success for them. The Hahalua take over and this time score a touchdown from Bean Delphine Jr to make it 10-7. Are they really gonna do this? The Copperheads regain their composure at the end of the half though, with a 41 yard throw to Bickerman setting up a field goal to tie it up. At halftime the score is 10-10.

Austin marches down the field on their opening possession, but a fumble in the red zone caused and recovered by Tom Taylor of the Hahalua flips this game on its head once more! Honolulu goes 3 and out and on the punt return Buckshank delivers again with a 78 yard touchdown return! The Hahalua are undeterred however, and strike back with a field goal to make it 17-13. The punt return seems to turn on the switch in Austin’s offense though, as Jeff Newman punches it in for the Copperhead touchdown. Honolulu makes it a one score game with the field goal, but Jeff Newman ices it with a 43 yard touchdown run! Just to rub salt in the wound, Newman gets another touchdown from 8 yards out to mercifully end this one 38-16 Austin.

Jeff Newman had the game of his career tonight, putting up 112 yards on only 11 carries with 3 rushing touchdowns! He is without a doubt the player of the game for this one.

BAL

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Both teams enter this one 1-3, and the Silverbacks look to turn around their disappointing season with a win here. New York gets the only score of the first quarter with a field goal making it 3-0. A 26 yard try from New York is no good, which opens the door for Baltimore. The veteran Busch Goose punches it in from 3 yards out to make it 7-3 Baltimore. The biggest defensive battle of the night, this first half ends with a 7-3 score.

New York kicks the ball through the uprights to start the 2nd half, making it 7-6 Baltimore. An 18 yard Mandrews McHollywood reception turns into a Michelangelo McTurtle touchdown! The failed 2 point try makes it 12-7 New York. At New York’s 9 yard line, Beatz is pressured into a bad throw and delivers it right to Regina Ferraro who returns it all the way to the Hawks 35 yard line! A few plays later, Malcolm Savage hits Swantavius Torch for a 33 yard touchdown! A 17 yard touchdown from Beatz to Crash only makes the score look a little better, as New York is able to hold on and win 19-14.

Regina Ferraro’s interception not only prevented Baltimore from taking the lead, his huge return set up the game winning score from New York, and for that reason he takes home the player of the game for this one.

As you can see, week 5 in the ISFL delivered some big time matchups that were as exciting as ever! Who will topple the undefeated Wraiths? Will Arizona get back to the top of the division? Can Honolulu win a football game? Only time will tell.

If you actually read through all this, thank you! If people want me to continue doing this, just let me know!