Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been over a year since I last confessed. When I first checked how long ago it was since the last installment I thought it was just this past October. Then I noticed a severe lack of anime gifs and knew something was wrong. Not even the mention of Tegan Atwell phased me. But here I am in my new weeb form.
I've traditionally written this late at night, but just like how you can start drinking whiskey at any hour, you can start your depressive introspection at any hour. I haven't written any media in a long time and I don't think I've cared about the NSFL in a long time.
Recently I spoke up in the Orange County Otters LR because I'm in there. I got tagged and I went in there to yell at everyone. Then I realized how long it's been since I joined this league. How many people have come and gone in that time.
I'm too old.
I mean, I guess not physically. I'm still only 20 and there's plenty of old guys around here. What I mean is that I've lasted around in this league for too long. There's so many people who I was close with when the league first started. Some of them left quickly, some of them moved into higher roles, and some slowed down. But after almost three years now, there's so few of us OGs left who actually give a shit.
I don't think I'd include myself in that number.
While my TPE gain says otherwise, I feel like I'm slowing down more and more. It seems like the more I stay in sim leagues, the more I find things I dislike about it.
I joined being told that it was like "DnD for Football". It sounded weird and exciting and fun. I wanted to create a narrative. I wanted to work on my writing skills. But, as it turned out, I just couldn't bring myself to write that much. What I did write was pretty damn good, but never in NSFL.
I look back at my history in this league and it's riddled with failure. I might have a large amount of Ultimus trophies, but all were through little to no fault of my own. Just looking through all of the threads I've started, so many are articles I probably could've written better, reminders of my time as the worst GM in league history, and the multiple times where I was just so wrong. I can probably search for the mention of my name and find so many people talking about how annoying I am, how much they wouldn't want to be on a team with me, how little they generally think of me as a person.
But past that, there's still the good in the people of this league. Those few OGs are some of my best friends in sim leagues and I still try to talk to quite a few of them. Whenever I see them join a server I'm in, I get excited because I know how cool they are. There's newer people who I've grown close to, people like @YoungTB and @bex who are some of the best people I know.
I started writing this article because I needed something to do and I'm procrastinating about working on my anime project right now.I might need money, I haven't actually checked in a while. I started with no plan, but I think I'm just going to get around to saying something that I've been planning to say since back in November. Many people already know of this plan and while sad, they've been supportive.
I will not be recreating after Rose Jenkins retires from the NSFL.
I will be moving on from the NSFL and eventually sim leagues as a whole.
This goes back to what I was saying earlier. I've been around too long. There's too many people who have left, too many people I have problems with. It's so hard for me to find a good locker room anymore. It's funny how something that I constantly insist on wanting to be the best at is always my downfall. I've seen this happen with the Chicago Blues and now with the Chicago Butchers. So many failures have their root from my own deficiencies.
None of my players have ever received a personal award. As I said earlier, I have so many team trophies to my name, but I've never felt like I was a part of that. And any time where I've been given the chance to prove myself I haven't just fallen short, I've crashed and burned so many times. Rose may have some chance left, but it's doubtful. I don't think the Butchers will find success while Rosie's still QB. I think that a team will be built around her and they might make the playoffs again while she's still QB, but it'll probably be the next QB who wins it all. Rosie will most likely retire without accomplishment.
But my reasons for wanting to move on aren't just rooted in self-doubt and a defeatist attitude. I also realize that I'm just to a point in my life where I want to focus more on other things. I joined this league right out of high school, exactly sure of what I was planning on doing. I was going to go to community college for a couple of years to get an associate's and then I'll move on to a university to get a full degree in journalism. Now, I want to be an artist. While in the NSFL, I've released two albums, two LPs, and a single. I've also in just the past year gotten into a certain "artform" and within the last few months have written over 55+ pages for a script of my own.
I don't think I've found myself. I don't know if that's what I should be doing. But what I do know is that most of my memories of interaction over the past three years have been discord-based and not human-based. I feel like now that I'm getting that associate's degree (a year late, probably), I should graduate from sitting around writing thousands of words for fake internet points and start writing thousands of words for my own personal growth as a writer.
It's weird to say "I'm quitting because I want to focus on anime"; but that's kinda what this is, isn't it?
I'm not leaving yet. I made a commitment and I'm sticking with it. I'm going to try to go out with a bang. I won't be retiring for a while. But when I do, it'll be for the last time. I guess we'll never get to see how Meg Rackworthy would do in the S30 draft. When it finally happens, we can talk about contingency plans with staying in touch. And I'll make sure to write one last great article, spanning all of the different leagues I've been in. How the story of one big ol kinda boring Chicago Boi managed to kick-start a universe of amazing and colorful characters.
So, that's this installment. Probably the last, tbh. Maybe I'll come back with another episode if I get sad, bored, and tired all at once again. There's a severe lack of gifs here because it's hard to really get the tone right. I don't really know what to put in that would actually get my feelings across. Even the music I usually add in is a bit more sparse than it was in the first two installments. But there is one thing that I just want everyone to know:
Be more like Shoko-san.
I've traditionally written this late at night, but just like how you can start drinking whiskey at any hour, you can start your depressive introspection at any hour. I haven't written any media in a long time and I don't think I've cared about the NSFL in a long time.
Recently I spoke up in the Orange County Otters LR because I'm in there. I got tagged and I went in there to yell at everyone. Then I realized how long it's been since I joined this league. How many people have come and gone in that time.
I'm too old.
I mean, I guess not physically. I'm still only 20 and there's plenty of old guys around here. What I mean is that I've lasted around in this league for too long. There's so many people who I was close with when the league first started. Some of them left quickly, some of them moved into higher roles, and some slowed down. But after almost three years now, there's so few of us OGs left who actually give a shit.
I don't think I'd include myself in that number.
While my TPE gain says otherwise, I feel like I'm slowing down more and more. It seems like the more I stay in sim leagues, the more I find things I dislike about it.
I joined being told that it was like "DnD for Football". It sounded weird and exciting and fun. I wanted to create a narrative. I wanted to work on my writing skills. But, as it turned out, I just couldn't bring myself to write that much. What I did write was pretty damn good, but never in NSFL.
I look back at my history in this league and it's riddled with failure. I might have a large amount of Ultimus trophies, but all were through little to no fault of my own. Just looking through all of the threads I've started, so many are articles I probably could've written better, reminders of my time as the worst GM in league history, and the multiple times where I was just so wrong. I can probably search for the mention of my name and find so many people talking about how annoying I am, how much they wouldn't want to be on a team with me, how little they generally think of me as a person.
But past that, there's still the good in the people of this league. Those few OGs are some of my best friends in sim leagues and I still try to talk to quite a few of them. Whenever I see them join a server I'm in, I get excited because I know how cool they are. There's newer people who I've grown close to, people like @YoungTB and @bex who are some of the best people I know.
I started writing this article because I needed something to do and I'm procrastinating about working on my anime project right now.I might need money, I haven't actually checked in a while. I started with no plan, but I think I'm just going to get around to saying something that I've been planning to say since back in November. Many people already know of this plan and while sad, they've been supportive.
I will not be recreating after Rose Jenkins retires from the NSFL.
I will be moving on from the NSFL and eventually sim leagues as a whole.
This goes back to what I was saying earlier. I've been around too long. There's too many people who have left, too many people I have problems with. It's so hard for me to find a good locker room anymore. It's funny how something that I constantly insist on wanting to be the best at is always my downfall. I've seen this happen with the Chicago Blues and now with the Chicago Butchers. So many failures have their root from my own deficiencies.
None of my players have ever received a personal award. As I said earlier, I have so many team trophies to my name, but I've never felt like I was a part of that. And any time where I've been given the chance to prove myself I haven't just fallen short, I've crashed and burned so many times. Rose may have some chance left, but it's doubtful. I don't think the Butchers will find success while Rosie's still QB. I think that a team will be built around her and they might make the playoffs again while she's still QB, but it'll probably be the next QB who wins it all. Rosie will most likely retire without accomplishment.
But my reasons for wanting to move on aren't just rooted in self-doubt and a defeatist attitude. I also realize that I'm just to a point in my life where I want to focus more on other things. I joined this league right out of high school, exactly sure of what I was planning on doing. I was going to go to community college for a couple of years to get an associate's and then I'll move on to a university to get a full degree in journalism. Now, I want to be an artist. While in the NSFL, I've released two albums, two LPs, and a single. I've also in just the past year gotten into a certain "artform" and within the last few months have written over 55+ pages for a script of my own.
I don't think I've found myself. I don't know if that's what I should be doing. But what I do know is that most of my memories of interaction over the past three years have been discord-based and not human-based. I feel like now that I'm getting that associate's degree (a year late, probably), I should graduate from sitting around writing thousands of words for fake internet points and start writing thousands of words for my own personal growth as a writer.
It's weird to say "I'm quitting because I want to focus on anime"; but that's kinda what this is, isn't it?
I'm not leaving yet. I made a commitment and I'm sticking with it. I'm going to try to go out with a bang. I won't be retiring for a while. But when I do, it'll be for the last time. I guess we'll never get to see how Meg Rackworthy would do in the S30 draft. When it finally happens, we can talk about contingency plans with staying in touch. And I'll make sure to write one last great article, spanning all of the different leagues I've been in. How the story of one big ol kinda boring Chicago Boi managed to kick-start a universe of amazing and colorful characters.
So, that's this installment. Probably the last, tbh. Maybe I'll come back with another episode if I get sad, bored, and tired all at once again. There's a severe lack of gifs here because it's hard to really get the tone right. I don't really know what to put in that would actually get my feelings across. Even the music I usually add in is a bit more sparse than it was in the first two installments. But there is one thing that I just want everyone to know:
Be more like Shoko-san.
[OPTION]S32: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 35 \ REC: 582 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 395 \ RUS: 1756 \ RUT: 21 \ CAT: 14 \ REC: 124 \ RET: 1
[OPTION]S34: CAR: 196 \ RUS: 831 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 35 \ REC: 582 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S31: DNQ
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S31: DNQ
[OPTION]S32: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 7 \ REC: 67 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 47 \ RUS: 147 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 7 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 47 \ RUS: 147 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 7 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S33 DSFL RBOTY
[OPTION]S33 DSFL MVP
[OPTION]Height: 6'2"
[OPTION]Weight: 195 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Yakushima, Japan
[OPTION]Number: 23
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S22: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S23: CAR: 23 \ RUS: 89 \ RUT: 2 \ CAT: 14 \ REC: 112 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 569 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S22: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S23: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S24: CAR: 192 \ RUS: 744 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 7 \ REC: 59 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S25: CAR: 232 \ RUS: 860 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 19 \ REC: 140 \ RET: 2 \ KR: 977 \ PR: 44 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S26: CAR: 54 \ RUS: 213 \ RUT: 3 \ CAT: 72 \ REC: 818 \ RET: 8 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S27: CAR: 179 \ RUS: 633 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 38 \ REC: 329 \ RET: 2 \ KR: 100 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S24: DNQ
[OPTION]S25: DNQ
[OPTION]S26: DNQ
[OPTION]S27: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]Height: 6'1"
[OPTION]Weight: 180 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Chicago, IL
[OPTION]Number: 13
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S13: Comp: 213 // Yards: 2306 // Comp%: 55 // TD: 10 // INT: 14 // Rating: 66.3
[OPTION]S14: Comp: 231 // Yards: 2100 // Comp%: 58.5 // TD: 11 // INT: 10 // Rating: 71.7
[OPTION]S15: Comp: 180 // Yards: 1595 // Comp%: 54.9 // TD: 7 // INT: 14 // Rating: 57.4
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S13: Comp: 45 // Yards: 485 // Comp%: 57.7% // TD: 3 // INT: 2
[OPTION]S14: DNQ
[OPTION]S15: Comp: 11 // Yards: 130 // Comp%: 55% // TD: 1 // INT: 1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S16: Comp: 216 // Yards: 3106 // Comp%: 55.7% // TD: 18 // INT: 7 // Rating: 89.8
[OPTION]S17: Comp: 202 // Yards: 2267 // Comp%: 62.2% // TD: 18 // INT: 8 // Rating: 94
[OPTION]S18: Comp: 302 // Yards: 3652 // Comp%: 57% // TD: 18 // INT: 16 // Rating: 77
[OPTION]S19: Comp: 326 // Yards: 3716 // Comp%: 56.4% // TD: 11 // INT: 15 // Rating: 71.4
[OPTION]S20: Comp: 347 // Yards: 4275 // Comp%: 56.5% // TD: 28 // INT: 12 // Rating: 85.2
[OPTION]S21: Comp: 267 // Yards: 3242 // Comp%: 57.5% // TD: 24 // INT: 8 // Rating: 89.2
[OPTION]S22: Comp: 236 // Yards: 2864 // Comp%: 53% // TD: 8 // INT: 11 // Rating: 68.8
[OPTION]Career: Comp: 1896 // Yards: 23,122 // Comp%: 56.9% // TD: 125 // INT: 77
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S16: Comp: 21 // Yards: 231 // Comp%: 65.6% // TD: 3 // INT: 3 // Rating: 79
[OPTION]S17: Comp: 18 // Yards: 186 // Comp%: 48.6% // TD: 0 // INT: 1 // Rating: 52.3
[OPTION]S18: DNQ
[OPTION]S19: DNQ
[OPTION]S20: DNQ
[OPTION]S21: DNQ
[OPTION]S22: Comp: 16 // Yards: 184 // Comp%: 57.1% // TD: 1 // INT: 1 // Rating: 74.1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]
[OPTION]Height: 5'9"
[OPTION]Weight: 185 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Brookfield, IL
[OPTION]Number: 23
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S4: Tackles: 50 \ PDs: 15 \ INTs: 4 \ DTDs: 1 \ KR: 493 \ PR: 418 \ RetTD: 1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S4: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S5: Tackles: 60 \ Sacks: 2 \ PDs: 4 \ INTs: 1 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S6: Tackles: 50 \ Sacks: 6 \ PDs: 5 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S7: Tackles: 92 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 4 \ INTs: 2 \ DTDs: 0 \ Catches: 16 \ RecY: 171 \ RecTD: 3
[OPTION]S8: Catches: 71 \ RecY: 1239 \ RecTD: 6 \ YPC: 17.5 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S9: Catches: 70 \ RecY: 1168 \ RecTD: 3 \ YPC: 17.0 // KR: 711 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S10: Catches: 68 \ RecY: 1348 \ RecTD: 9 \ YPC: 19.8 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S11: Catches: 71 \ RecY: 1003 \ RecTD: 5 \ YPC: 14.1 // KR: 956 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S12: Catches: 47 \ RecY: 685 \ RecTD: 8 \ YPC: 14.6 // KR: 315 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S13: Catches: 53 \ RecY: 805 \ RecTD: 8 \ YPC: 15.2 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]Career (Defense): Tackles: 202 \ Sacks: 8 \ PDs: 13 \ INTs: 3 \ DTDs: 0
[OPTION]Career (Offense): Catches: 396 \ RecY: 6419 \ RecTD: 50
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S5: Tackles: 9 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S6: Tackles: 8 \ Sacks: 1 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S7: Tackles: 8 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ Catches: 2 \ RecY: 18 \ RecTD: 0
[OPTION]S8: Catches: 3 \ RecY: 40 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 13.3 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S9: Catches: 3 \ RecY: 45 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 15 // KR: 43 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S10: DNQ
[OPTION]S11: Catches: 4 \ RecY: 29 \ RecTD: 1 \ YPC: 7.2 // KR: 54 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S12: Catches: 11 \ RecY: 208 \ RecTD: 1 \ YPC: 18.9 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S13: Catches: 6 \ RecY: 55 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 9.2 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S5: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S6: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S12: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S13: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]Height: 6'4"
[OPTION]Weight: 260 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Chicago, IL
[OPTION]Number: 3
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S1: CAR: 207 \ RUS: 995 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 19 \ REC: 148 \ RET: 1
[OPTION]S2: CAR: 191 \ RUS: 640 \ RUT: 2 \ CAT: 23 \ REC: 142 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]S3: CAR: 123 \ RUS: 359 \ RUT: 5 \ CAT: 46 \ REC: 387 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S4: CAR: 123 \ RUS: 357 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 69 \ REC: 533 \ RET: 2
[OPTION]Career: CAR: 664 \ RUS: 2351 \ RUT: 17 \ CAT: 157 \ REC: 1210 \ RET: 6
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S1: CAR: 15 \ RUS: 59 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 11 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S2: CAR: 13 \ RUS: 32 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S3: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 6 \ REC: 19 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S4: CAR: 6 \ RUS: 16 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 4 \ REC: 17 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S4: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Record:
[OPTION]NSFL S1: OC Otters: 9-5-0
[OPTION]NSFL S2: OC Otters: 8-6-0
[OPTION]EFL S1: Notre Dame University: 0-14-0
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Chicago Blues: 10-4-0
[OPTION]NSFL S4: Chicago Blues: 5-9-0
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Chicago Coyotes: 3-7-0
[OPTION]PBE S7: Milwaukee Swans: 50-50 (Lost World Series 2-3)
[OPTION]NSFL S17: Chicago Butchers: 8-5-0
[OPTION]NSFL S18: Chicago Butchers: 5-8-0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]NSFL S1: Finished 2nd in league (2nd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S1: Solis Trophy Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S1: GMs of the Year Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Founded DSFL Franchise, Chicago Blues
[OPTION]EFL S1: Joined Notre Dame University as Athletic Director
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Finished 3rd in league (2nd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Solis Trophy Runners-Up
[OPTION]EFL S1: Resigned from Athletic Director position with Notre Dame
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Finished 1st in league (1st in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Noble Trophy Semifinals Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S4: Finished 5th in league (3rd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Joined DSFL Franchise, Kansas City Coyotes
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Moved DSFL Franchise, Kansas City Coyotes from Kansas City to Chicago, creating the Chicago Coyotes
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Retired from Leadership Positions in the NSFL
[OPTION]PBE S7: Co-Founded MiPBE Franchise Milwaukee Swans
[OPTION]PBE S7: Finished Runners-up in MiPBE World Series
[OPTION]PBE S8: Resigned from MiPBE team Milwaukee Swans before the start of the season
[OPTION]NSFL S17: Joined NSFL Franchise, Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S19: Resigned from NSFL team Chicago Butchers before the start of the season
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Appointed Interim GM of Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Staged a violent military coup to gain control of Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Retired from all Leadership Positions
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Quote:"There is no such thing as a person who can call themselves truly not lonely. There are only those who choose to hide it."
-Chizuru Ichinose