06-27-2024, 05:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-30-2024, 08:15 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
The Book of Zen
Chapter 55: The Contract
Zenzeroni had won the game of hide and seek and the 1 million dollar cash prize that went along with it. Happy to have that kind of cash with him, Zenzeroni was finally ready to put the past aside and start his new life. One that would bring him even more cash as he was getting prepared to put money down to purchase land and build his first restaurant self inspired and built on what he hoped would become his famous ketchup tomato sauce.
Zenzeroni had graduated and had been renting a place near Bondi Beach for the time being until he got the restaurant all squared away. He was inspecting the surrounding area for potential partnerships with other stores so that he could get some clientele right away and not seem like a foreigner when he stumbled on a poster stapled to a telephone pole:
Join the International Simulation Football League!
The 39th season of the International Simulation Football League is wrapping up, which means that it is a great time to join! The ISFL is a free league where you can be anything from a receiving back to a ball hawking safety or even a strong legged kicker.
"Thinking about joining?" Zenzeroni turns to see a man who looks homeless walking up.
“Oh uh no haha just taking a look. I’m new to the area just getting a feel for what’s going on.” The Bondi Beach Buccaneers are a big deal around here and–” The man pauses and leans in “I know a guy that could get you on the team straight away” The man wiggles his eyebrows and gives Zenzeroni a wink.
“Thanks but I’m not really interested. I don’t really think it is my cup of tea.” Zenzeroni says trying to get out of the conversation in the nicest way possible.
“Ah come on mate. I know the legendary Spaghetti School kicker when I see him! The Spaghetti Splitter can’t hide from me!” He says giving Zenzeroni a nudge.
“You caught me!” Zenzeroni says putting his hands up in faux fear. “No but my playing days are well in the past. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things now. I’m actually planning on buying that land over there and putting up my own restaurant!”
“That land over there?” The man inquires pointing in the direction Zenzeroni had been looking.
“Yep and I got a greal deal on it too. Honestly, I think I kind of scammed them.”
“Oh no, they let it go for that price for a reason. That land is haunted.” The man says all of a sudden getting very serious.
“Good thing I don’t believe in curses,” Zenzeroni says walking away from the man who just stares into the back of Zenzeroni’s head as he walks away.
Zenzeroni had run into multiple problems after that incident. It seemed like everyone but him believed in the curse. No construction crew would build his restaurant and no food suppliers would deliver the ingredients he needed. So he did it himself slowly building the restaurant up from ground 0 and walking hours from the food supplier to his restaurant to get the ingredients he needed. Finally, it was the grand opening but no one came to the grand opening. No one showed up the day after either. Or the day after that. After a week of absolutely 0 business Zenzeroni saw himself as a failure. All of that money wasted. He would have to find a line cook role at some fast food place soon enough otherwise he would be bankrupt. Then a man in a Hawaiian shirt, short shorts that were way too short, sunglasses, and the signature sunscreen on the nose wanders through the door with a smile on his face strolling up to the counter where Zenzeroni’s depressed demeanor shifts as he clears his throat “Welcome to Zen’z Za we are the Zestiest Pizza place in Bondi! What would you like?” Zenzeroni says pushing as much fake enthusiasm as possible toward the man.
“I’m going to cut to the chase because I don’t do small talk. Your business is failing. We can all see that. I know that but more importantly, you know that. Let me offer you a deal you can’t possibly refuse; you keep the restaurant I give you all the money you could ever need but I need you to sign this contract.” The man says opening his briefcase and producing a 100 page document but on the front page has a giant “Sign here” caption with a line to sign next to it.
“What exactly am I signing?” Zenzeroni asks.
“You will join the ISFL effective immediately. Bondi Beach has a team we can easily get you on. Trust me, their kicker is awful. Then from there, it is up to the big leagues. I’m thinking Berlin but we might not be able to fit you there. People don’t like……eh it doesn’t matter throw you somewhere no one will care about. I think Yellowknife might fit that description. But that’s way in the future if you’d sign here we can get everything squared away in seconds.” The man says producing a pen from practically thin air and handing it to Zenzeroni.
“I play in the ISFL and my business brings in customers?" Zenzeroni asks.
"As soon as you put ink to paper this place will be booming” The man promises.
“Deal!” Zenzeroni says signing the contract without reading any of the other papers.
Within seconds of signing people begin to stream into the restaurant and the man smiles at Zenzeroni before disappearing into the crowd that was getting bigger and bigger by the second.
“He sign the contract?” A voice says over the phone.
“Of course he did I’m a master negotiator. I get shit done” The man in short shorts and a Hawaiian shirt says taking off his sunglasses and wiping his brow.
“Wonderful. Now we can really get this show on the road.” The voice responds.
“Are you sure about this?” The man in the Hawaiian shirt asks taking off his fake beard and wig.
“I’ve never been so sure in my entire life. I can’t wait to share the details of what is in that contract but we can do that when you get back. Say, Zenzizenzizenzic, when are you getting back again?” the voice replies.
“I have a flight tomorrow. Should be back within the next 3 days. See you then. Love you dad.”
“Love you too Zen” Zenzeroni Sr. replies hanging up the phone and lounging back in his chair humming to himself happily as he looks at the photo frame on the wall that has himself front and center with his wife Zizi next to him Zenzi standing in front of them and Zenzeroni standing up to Zenzi’s shoulder but Zenzeroni looks a little different because unlike the other three his face has a giant red X straight through his face in big red marker.
Howdy! I am responsible for quite possibly the greatest kicker to ever grace the ISFL and am the most accomplished media writer the ISFL has ever seen (no need to ask anyone else regarding either of those claims)
Important Media You Must Read If You Want To Be Cool Like Me
The Villainous Jreed12: The Case Against the WEAKly Mirror|Jreed is a multi|Coming soon
The Truth About Baron1898: The Self Proclaimed Queen|The Evil Queen|The Curse of Venus|The Truth
The Year of the Joker: Year of the Joker|Doubling Down|Bye to Losers|Win or Not?|Last Dance
Read the full 56 Chapter Book of Zen Catalog here: The Book of Zen
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