03-05-2024, 03:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-09-2024, 05:04 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 2 times in total.)
60% to @jadda123876, 40% to @Brad Woof
ADMINISTRATION ASSAULTED! AFTER ARDUOUS ARGUMENTS, AMBIGUOUS AGREEMENT ACHIEVED?
A planned protest turned violent yesterday, as disgruntled ISFL rookies marched on the league offices to vent their growing frustrations and make their grievances known to Head Office staff and leadership. The Doghouse was, of course, present at the rally to document the goings-on of the day, but no one expected exactly how it would turn out. The following is a direct eye-witness account of the events from a trusted Doghouse reporter:
Jonathan Irons (@jadda123876) trudges up the side of the hill to the official-looking league building and swings his leg over the railing, boot planting firmly into the perfectly-manicured flowers. “Now is not the time for beauty to be protected, now is the time to raise the alarm bells in the minds of everyone. Not just the rookies, not just those who have allied with our cause. It is high time for HO to wake up and recognize the movements that exist outside their ivory walls,” Irons explained to our reporter on the scene.
Bounding over the railing with ease, Brad Woof (@Brad Woof) lands next to Irons, taking some time to dig anxiously through the flower-bed before bounding forward towards the door. Irons chuckles to himself after the display, but follows along. Following behind the two leaders of the rookie pack is a sizable group of determined players, all of whom are swayed by the movement and ready to take a stand against HO.
The group is composed of a mix of rookies and league veterans both. Fellow Portland players Tyler Higbee II (@SensibleDictator) and American Dream (@KC15), and former first overall pick Roquefort Cotswald (@roquefort) join the march, and familiar faces like Zenzeroni Xystarch II (@lock180), Silence Suzuka (@xenosthelegend), Thor Dangerson (@homercrates), and many others can be spotted amongst the mob of disenfranchised players. Prior to the march, a number of team GMs provided Irons and his movement encouraging words and tacit support, and that energy can be felt amongst the assembled protesters. Leaflets in hand, each one a copy of Irons’s infamous Rookie Manifesto, the group marches on.
The Doghouse would like to take this brief pause to warn its readers that the following account may be shocking, but it is printed in its entirety in the interest of accuracy and authenticity:
The energy of the assembly changes drastically when Yellowknife Wraiths GM TubaDeus (@TubaDeus) throws a rock through a window of the offices and leaps inside. This clearly serves as a catalyst as many of the protesters grab sticks, stones, and other implements and charge on the building. Irons is visibly overjoyed as he watches the swarm climb the hill. “This is what we needed!” he shouts to the crowd, “This is the change we shall bring about!”
He turns and begins instructing and guiding the players in their various attempts to breach the building. He points two of the linebackers to the door and they each charge the structure, the door frame buckling under their combined efforts. The two large, unidentified figures crash through loudly. Inside, several Head Office officials can be seen nervously retreating deeper into the building. Brad Woof, having bounded into the Head Office alongside the linebackers, backs a rather concerned receptionist into a corner. He seems almost gleeful, like he is just happy to be a part of the group, but the league employee very clearly misunderstands and interprets his joy as manic anger. Brad does not notice this.
Outside the chaos continues, Thor Dangerson taking the time to scrawl a message in large, chalk letters across the parking lot: Where’s my money, HO?
In an odd display, Xystarch II has chosen to set up a cooking station in the lot to feed the protesters. He prepares various snacks and refreshments for those gathered, giving the violence the feeling of an overenthusiastic potluck. Some players bring him ingredients that he includes in his dishes, and mysteriously he is constantly well stocked with GOAT cheese, though no source is evident.
Further still, the rookies begin lighting fires and antagonistically waving their draft slips over the heat, some even burning them completely.
Irons can be seen following the mob inside the building and coming face to face with an obviously enraged, yet unidentified member of HO.
For their personal safety, our Doghouse reporter remained outside the league offices as the mob entered the building and therefore was unable to document any further action by any of the protestors that entered the building. Nearly six hours later, Irons, Woof, and their compatriots were allowed to leave of their own accord after a seemingly successful negotiation with HO.
The Doghouse caught up with Irons as he was leaving the building and asked about the negotiations. Irons, face bloodied by a wild blow he suffered inside, wiped away sweat with a rag, looking bewildered but relieved. “I had concerns that things would quickly grow heated in there,” he chuckles, gesturing to his split brow, “and they very nearly did. But, so long as the Head Office holds up its bargain, we’ll do well, I think.”
What was talked about behind those closed doors remains unannounced as of the time of writing. Irons has been unwavering in his desire to fight for fairness for players across the league, especially his fellow rookie players, so we expect that a large part of the tentative agreement revolves around the league’s treatment of rookies and their place as the future of the ISFL.
No arrests were made during or after the event, despite the violence. The Doghouse has reached out to ISFL Head Office with a request for comment. As always, look to The Doghouse for updates on this evolving story.
ADMINISTRATION ASSAULTED! AFTER ARDUOUS ARGUMENTS, AMBIGUOUS AGREEMENT ACHIEVED?
A planned protest turned violent yesterday, as disgruntled ISFL rookies marched on the league offices to vent their growing frustrations and make their grievances known to Head Office staff and leadership. The Doghouse was, of course, present at the rally to document the goings-on of the day, but no one expected exactly how it would turn out. The following is a direct eye-witness account of the events from a trusted Doghouse reporter:
Jonathan Irons (@jadda123876) trudges up the side of the hill to the official-looking league building and swings his leg over the railing, boot planting firmly into the perfectly-manicured flowers. “Now is not the time for beauty to be protected, now is the time to raise the alarm bells in the minds of everyone. Not just the rookies, not just those who have allied with our cause. It is high time for HO to wake up and recognize the movements that exist outside their ivory walls,” Irons explained to our reporter on the scene.
Bounding over the railing with ease, Brad Woof (@Brad Woof) lands next to Irons, taking some time to dig anxiously through the flower-bed before bounding forward towards the door. Irons chuckles to himself after the display, but follows along. Following behind the two leaders of the rookie pack is a sizable group of determined players, all of whom are swayed by the movement and ready to take a stand against HO.
The group is composed of a mix of rookies and league veterans both. Fellow Portland players Tyler Higbee II (@SensibleDictator) and American Dream (@KC15), and former first overall pick Roquefort Cotswald (@roquefort) join the march, and familiar faces like Zenzeroni Xystarch II (@lock180), Silence Suzuka (@xenosthelegend), Thor Dangerson (@homercrates), and many others can be spotted amongst the mob of disenfranchised players. Prior to the march, a number of team GMs provided Irons and his movement encouraging words and tacit support, and that energy can be felt amongst the assembled protesters. Leaflets in hand, each one a copy of Irons’s infamous Rookie Manifesto, the group marches on.
The Doghouse would like to take this brief pause to warn its readers that the following account may be shocking, but it is printed in its entirety in the interest of accuracy and authenticity:
The energy of the assembly changes drastically when Yellowknife Wraiths GM TubaDeus (@TubaDeus) throws a rock through a window of the offices and leaps inside. This clearly serves as a catalyst as many of the protesters grab sticks, stones, and other implements and charge on the building. Irons is visibly overjoyed as he watches the swarm climb the hill. “This is what we needed!” he shouts to the crowd, “This is the change we shall bring about!”
He turns and begins instructing and guiding the players in their various attempts to breach the building. He points two of the linebackers to the door and they each charge the structure, the door frame buckling under their combined efforts. The two large, unidentified figures crash through loudly. Inside, several Head Office officials can be seen nervously retreating deeper into the building. Brad Woof, having bounded into the Head Office alongside the linebackers, backs a rather concerned receptionist into a corner. He seems almost gleeful, like he is just happy to be a part of the group, but the league employee very clearly misunderstands and interprets his joy as manic anger. Brad does not notice this.
Outside the chaos continues, Thor Dangerson taking the time to scrawl a message in large, chalk letters across the parking lot: Where’s my money, HO?
In an odd display, Xystarch II has chosen to set up a cooking station in the lot to feed the protesters. He prepares various snacks and refreshments for those gathered, giving the violence the feeling of an overenthusiastic potluck. Some players bring him ingredients that he includes in his dishes, and mysteriously he is constantly well stocked with GOAT cheese, though no source is evident.
Further still, the rookies begin lighting fires and antagonistically waving their draft slips over the heat, some even burning them completely.
Irons can be seen following the mob inside the building and coming face to face with an obviously enraged, yet unidentified member of HO.
For their personal safety, our Doghouse reporter remained outside the league offices as the mob entered the building and therefore was unable to document any further action by any of the protestors that entered the building. Nearly six hours later, Irons, Woof, and their compatriots were allowed to leave of their own accord after a seemingly successful negotiation with HO.
The Doghouse caught up with Irons as he was leaving the building and asked about the negotiations. Irons, face bloodied by a wild blow he suffered inside, wiped away sweat with a rag, looking bewildered but relieved. “I had concerns that things would quickly grow heated in there,” he chuckles, gesturing to his split brow, “and they very nearly did. But, so long as the Head Office holds up its bargain, we’ll do well, I think.”
What was talked about behind those closed doors remains unannounced as of the time of writing. Irons has been unwavering in his desire to fight for fairness for players across the league, especially his fellow rookie players, so we expect that a large part of the tentative agreement revolves around the league’s treatment of rookies and their place as the future of the ISFL.
No arrests were made during or after the event, despite the violence. The Doghouse has reached out to ISFL Head Office with a request for comment. As always, look to The Doghouse for updates on this evolving story.
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