05-16-2024, 05:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-17-2024, 03:24 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
Catch Up on Previous Chapters:
Start at the Beginning: Chapter 1
Most Recent Chapter: Chapter 13
Graders Split 60/40 for @lock180/@homercrates
The Captain and commander of the ship is Smoky “The Pig” Brisket. Smoky is a stout and sturdy figure, standing shorter than most of his crew but making up for it with a party like atmosphere that keeps him the talk of the town (or the fleet). His round face and thick black mustache make him quite the character. Adding to his character is his patchwork coat of various fabrics and colors but most important of all is the classic parrot on his shoulder that never leaves his side.
Next up is his second in command Drumstick who gets the nickname from his incredibly skinny and lanky body. While he may not be that imposing, his marksmanship with a pistol and navigational abilities make him a vital part of the Spaghetti Monster Crew. Drumstick’s signature look is his fiery red hair which is always tied back in a ponytail. But that doesn’t tell his whole story as his face is marked by a few scars earned from battles he’s had while sailing with his former crew. Drumstick wears a weathered leather coat over a loose-fitting shirt and sturdy breeches, with a belt adorned with a cutlass and a pistol at his side. His boots are well-worn but still look like the most stylish part of him.
Violet is the leader of the cannon division and brings all the chaotic fun energy with her. Her short black hair is interrupted by a shock of violet on the left side and her wild eyes in combination with a smile that is missing a few teeth make her quite the character to look at. Violet doesn’t leave her quarters without a belt over her shoulder strapped with ammo and other explosive devices leaving her hands often covered in blackened gunpowder.
Plank is the muscle of the ship and while not very smart, is the lovable giant of the ship. His shiny bald head can be seen from anywhere on the ship and his muscles are even more pronounced. Most notable of Plank's hobbies is his love of dancing which can cause problems for Smoky as the ship often tips and sways with Plank's aggressive dancing throughout the ship.
Lucky is the last of the rag tag five but possibly the most important. His role switches from carpenter, to blacksmith, to cook, to occasional doctor and even musician. Despite being the most versatile of the five Lucky is the most quiet of the five as well. Lucky has a permanent five o’clock shadow and short but wild brown hair. He doesn’t dress the part of a pirate and instead looks much like a normal sailor. Coming from the commercial shipping industry it makes sense as to why that is the case.
Of course, there are more members of the 20+ crew but those are the core five that we need to worry about. Let’s carry on, shall we?
“Plank brought friend”. Plank announces to the rest of the crew as he climbs down the final steps of the ladder.
“How’d you guys know I was on The Flying Lasagna?” Zenzeroni says in disbelief hopping off Plank's back. Violet comes over and Zenzeroni and her do their signature chest bump.
“Stinker told us he had a hunch you would be trying to make a move so he set up the wire while he was saying his goodbyes. Then to our surprise, Rebel came on over the radio saying she had a delivery for us.” Violet tells Zenzeroni.
“I’m going to get you guys in so much trouble though!”
“We will worry about that when the time comes. For now, let’s party!” Smoky announces.
“Party! Plank loves party!” Plank says immediately pulling out his signature dance move “The Lawnmower”.
Lucky sighs and puts away a pair of tools he had been using and hurries down into the bowels of the ship to get his banjo. Plank dances his way below deck and comes up carrying a barrel of beer in one hand and Lucky playing the banjo with the other.
With the party fully on, Zenzeroni joins the festivities chatting it up with his friends and getting pulled into dancing with Plank every five minutes. As the day goes on the crew gets more and more drunk and eventually are either passed out on the deck of the ship or drunkenly making nonsensical conversation with each other. The lone three sober crew aboard The Spaghetti Monster were Smoky, Lucky, and Zenzeroni who was being a responsible “adult” and not drinking.
The next few days went by without incident but Zenzeroni soon found a worrying trend beginning to occur. Every time he would wake up, another personal item he had brought on the ship would go missing. He first noticed when one of his socks went missing. Not an unusual occurrence, Zenzeroni went about the day like nothing had happened but then he lost his pocketwatch, then a button, then a photo of himself and One Eyed Larry. Finally, he had enough and during a breakfast with the rest of the crew jumped up on his table and announced “Who has been stealing all my stuff?! I’m missing multiple items and whoever did this should own up to it. Right now!”
No one moves until Violet jumps up on the table next to him “Someone’s been stealing my stuff to!”
Then throughout the ship, everyone else had a similar story of their items going missing.
“Stuffed animal. Run away!” Plank says through tears.
Smoky realizes this is a problem that is bigger than himself and the ship and radios over to The Flying Lasagna “Captain One Eyed Larry, this is Captain Smoky of The Spaghetti Monster, it appears we have a serial thief on the loose on our ship and I will need to do some detective work to see who needs to be punished. Do I have your permission?”
There is a long pause before a response comes back on over the speaker “Negative Captain. We’ve been having reports of missing items on our ship as well. Whatever is going on, it’s bigger than one man.”
Smoky who had been looking down at the radio looks up and out the window where he sees a crew member standing looking out across the ocean. Then in a chilling moment, the crew member turns around, looks Smoky in the eyes, gives him a crooked smile, and jumps off the ship.
“WHAT IN THE SAM HELL?”
“What happened?”. The concerned voice of One Eyed Larry comes through the radio. But at this point, Smoky had dropped the radio and had run outside to where the crew member had jumped off. The rest of the crew looks at Smoky confused and he takes stock of his crew. Counting them and mentally noting their names Smoky realizes he isn’t missing any crew. Then looking back to the location of where that crew member was and out to where they were looking Smoky sees near the horizon an old and what looks to be an abandoned pirate ship listing to the side with wind torn sails.
Smoky grips his holster and leans his head back against the wall of the radio room. “FUCK”.
Start at the Beginning: Chapter 1
Most Recent Chapter: Chapter 13
Graders Split 60/40 for @lock180/@homercrates
The Book of Zen
Chapter 14: Among Us
ILLUSTRATED BY: Thor Dangerson
Who is the crew of The Spaghetti Monster?ILLUSTRATED BY: Thor Dangerson
The Captain and commander of the ship is Smoky “The Pig” Brisket. Smoky is a stout and sturdy figure, standing shorter than most of his crew but making up for it with a party like atmosphere that keeps him the talk of the town (or the fleet). His round face and thick black mustache make him quite the character. Adding to his character is his patchwork coat of various fabrics and colors but most important of all is the classic parrot on his shoulder that never leaves his side.
Next up is his second in command Drumstick who gets the nickname from his incredibly skinny and lanky body. While he may not be that imposing, his marksmanship with a pistol and navigational abilities make him a vital part of the Spaghetti Monster Crew. Drumstick’s signature look is his fiery red hair which is always tied back in a ponytail. But that doesn’t tell his whole story as his face is marked by a few scars earned from battles he’s had while sailing with his former crew. Drumstick wears a weathered leather coat over a loose-fitting shirt and sturdy breeches, with a belt adorned with a cutlass and a pistol at his side. His boots are well-worn but still look like the most stylish part of him.
Violet is the leader of the cannon division and brings all the chaotic fun energy with her. Her short black hair is interrupted by a shock of violet on the left side and her wild eyes in combination with a smile that is missing a few teeth make her quite the character to look at. Violet doesn’t leave her quarters without a belt over her shoulder strapped with ammo and other explosive devices leaving her hands often covered in blackened gunpowder.
Plank is the muscle of the ship and while not very smart, is the lovable giant of the ship. His shiny bald head can be seen from anywhere on the ship and his muscles are even more pronounced. Most notable of Plank's hobbies is his love of dancing which can cause problems for Smoky as the ship often tips and sways with Plank's aggressive dancing throughout the ship.
Lucky is the last of the rag tag five but possibly the most important. His role switches from carpenter, to blacksmith, to cook, to occasional doctor and even musician. Despite being the most versatile of the five Lucky is the most quiet of the five as well. Lucky has a permanent five o’clock shadow and short but wild brown hair. He doesn’t dress the part of a pirate and instead looks much like a normal sailor. Coming from the commercial shipping industry it makes sense as to why that is the case.
Of course, there are more members of the 20+ crew but those are the core five that we need to worry about. Let’s carry on, shall we?
“Plank brought friend”. Plank announces to the rest of the crew as he climbs down the final steps of the ladder.
“How’d you guys know I was on The Flying Lasagna?” Zenzeroni says in disbelief hopping off Plank's back. Violet comes over and Zenzeroni and her do their signature chest bump.
“Stinker told us he had a hunch you would be trying to make a move so he set up the wire while he was saying his goodbyes. Then to our surprise, Rebel came on over the radio saying she had a delivery for us.” Violet tells Zenzeroni.
“I’m going to get you guys in so much trouble though!”
“We will worry about that when the time comes. For now, let’s party!” Smoky announces.
“Party! Plank loves party!” Plank says immediately pulling out his signature dance move “The Lawnmower”.
Lucky sighs and puts away a pair of tools he had been using and hurries down into the bowels of the ship to get his banjo. Plank dances his way below deck and comes up carrying a barrel of beer in one hand and Lucky playing the banjo with the other.
With the party fully on, Zenzeroni joins the festivities chatting it up with his friends and getting pulled into dancing with Plank every five minutes. As the day goes on the crew gets more and more drunk and eventually are either passed out on the deck of the ship or drunkenly making nonsensical conversation with each other. The lone three sober crew aboard The Spaghetti Monster were Smoky, Lucky, and Zenzeroni who was being a responsible “adult” and not drinking.
The next few days went by without incident but Zenzeroni soon found a worrying trend beginning to occur. Every time he would wake up, another personal item he had brought on the ship would go missing. He first noticed when one of his socks went missing. Not an unusual occurrence, Zenzeroni went about the day like nothing had happened but then he lost his pocketwatch, then a button, then a photo of himself and One Eyed Larry. Finally, he had enough and during a breakfast with the rest of the crew jumped up on his table and announced “Who has been stealing all my stuff?! I’m missing multiple items and whoever did this should own up to it. Right now!”
No one moves until Violet jumps up on the table next to him “Someone’s been stealing my stuff to!”
Then throughout the ship, everyone else had a similar story of their items going missing.
“Stuffed animal. Run away!” Plank says through tears.
Smoky realizes this is a problem that is bigger than himself and the ship and radios over to The Flying Lasagna “Captain One Eyed Larry, this is Captain Smoky of The Spaghetti Monster, it appears we have a serial thief on the loose on our ship and I will need to do some detective work to see who needs to be punished. Do I have your permission?”
There is a long pause before a response comes back on over the speaker “Negative Captain. We’ve been having reports of missing items on our ship as well. Whatever is going on, it’s bigger than one man.”
Smoky who had been looking down at the radio looks up and out the window where he sees a crew member standing looking out across the ocean. Then in a chilling moment, the crew member turns around, looks Smoky in the eyes, gives him a crooked smile, and jumps off the ship.
“WHAT IN THE SAM HELL?”
“What happened?”. The concerned voice of One Eyed Larry comes through the radio. But at this point, Smoky had dropped the radio and had run outside to where the crew member had jumped off. The rest of the crew looks at Smoky confused and he takes stock of his crew. Counting them and mentally noting their names Smoky realizes he isn’t missing any crew. Then looking back to the location of where that crew member was and out to where they were looking Smoky sees near the horizon an old and what looks to be an abandoned pirate ship listing to the side with wind torn sails.
Smoky grips his holster and leans his head back against the wall of the radio room. “FUCK”.
Howdy! I am responsible for quite possibly the greatest kicker to ever grace the ISFL and am the most accomplished media writer the ISFL has ever seen (no need to ask anyone else regarding either of those claims)
Important Media You Must Read If You Want To Be Cool Like Me
The Villainous Jreed12: The Case Against the WEAKly Mirror|Jreed is a multi|Coming soon
The Truth About Baron1898: The Self Proclaimed Queen|The Evil Queen|The Curse of Venus|The Truth
The Year of the Joker: Year of the Joker|Doubling Down|Bye to Losers|Win or Not?|Last Dance
Read the full 56 Chapter Book of Zen Catalog here: The Book of Zen
Miscellaneous Articles: The Clown Car Four|The Nauseating Nine|1 Star Mcdonalds Prospect Analysis