06-01-2024, 09:02 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2024, 09:17 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
Are you having trouble deciding who to pick for the second week of the new ISFL season? Picking teams can be hard. With the sim being involved, changing tactics, tanking teams, and everything in between deciding who is going to win can be a tough challenge. But don’t worry because our local ISFL expert has you covered! Having played in over 75 total games in the league, Zenzeroni is an elite analyst for all things ISFL. Known for his impressive writing ability he has used his smarts and logic to come up with an ingenious never before used formula to predict the winners of each matchup. So if you want a guaranteed perfect prediction for every week make sure to read up on who you should be picking!
Last Weeks Results: 9-12
Total Results: 27-22
Standings Differential Through Week 10 (actual in Parenthesis)
ASFC
NSFC
Week 8: Word Count
As a media writer, word count is everything which is why the bigger the name the more powerful the team is likely to become. So for week 8 predictions the more letters the better chance of winning. It’s not a prediction, it’s a fact.
vs
Chicago letter count: 15
New Orleans letter count: 20
Result: New Orleans comes in strong with 20 letters in their name and while Chicago’s 15 is not bad it isn’t nearly the number needed to compete
vs
Baltimore letter count: 14
San Jose: 16
Result: Just about as close a game as you would expect from these two powerhouses but San Jose will come out on top.
vs
Cape Town letter count: 13
Honolulu letter count: 15
Result: Another close game and this one ends in a stunning victory for the Hahalua as they take down the Cape Town Crash
vs
Yellowknife letter count: 18
Arizona letter count: 14
Result: A relatively close game will get away from Arizona in the end as Yellowknife will chug along while Arizona’s letters will run out.
vs
Berlin letter count: 17
Orange County letter count: 18
Result: By the narrowest of margins that extra Otter will do the trick as the Otters defeat the Salamanders
vs
Sarasota letter count: 16
Austin letter count: 17
Result: Two nailbiters in a row and this time the extra Copperhead gets the job done over the Sailfish that wish they were the Sailfishies right now
vs
Colorado letter count: 12
New York letter count: 18
Result: A dominant victory for the Silverbacks as the shorthanded Yeti give up before the second half even begins
Week 9: What’s Going on Youtube….
Youtube is the home of our wonderful game of the ISFL and if teams want to get noticed they should situate their team in a place where fans are going to be drawn to. Marketing campaigns are crucial to the success of a location which is why I went into incognito mode and searched every team name. I then chose the first result and the most viewed video was the winner.
vs
Berlin video: Nocturnal wanderer: The fire salamander
103k views
Honolulu video: Top 8 Things to Do in Honolulu, Hawaii
212k views
Result: Interestingly the search seems to have completely ignored the “hahalua” aspect of Honolulu Hahalua which has worked out in Honolulu’s favor. I won’t be watching any of these videos but a nature documentary on Fire Salamanders does sound interesting a shame they get an L here
vs
Austin video: Copperheads, Rattlesnakes and Kingsnakes | Junkyard Adventures in Austin Texas
340 views
New York video: 2021-07-14 New York Silverbacks 1 - Larchmont Wildcats 6
57 views
Result: This is what I was expecting when I decided to use youtube for my predictions. Small unknown videos coming up to represent these teams. The first video is made by a fairly committed vlogger who goes to all sorts of snake related attractions. 3 videos down from that video is a 7 million viewed video of a man getting bit by a rattlesnake so that’s exciting. But it doesn’t matter because the 14U New York Silverbacks bring in a measly 57 views that seem almost too personal to put on here and yet here it is. Austin wins a low scoring affair.
vs
Cape Town video: VIDEO: New footage shows devastation after Cape Town N1 high speed crash
235k views
Yellowknife video: Season 8 - NSFC FINALS - Baltimore Hawks @ Yellowknife Wraiths
3 views
Result: Before I get to the elephant in the room I want to mention that first, Cape Town’s result was going to be obvious and second, no the driver did not die but he did lose both his legs and the passenger lost a finger. Now that that has been said I wish I could give the Yellowknife Wraiths bonus points for coming up as the number 1 search result but alas that is not how the game is played and instead Cape Town will slaughter the Wraiths
vs
Sarasota video: Sarasota Sailfish 6:3:17
140 views
Colorado Yeti video: ColoRADo
90k views
Result: smellyfrogfinger 9110 can’t believe “2 Brothers Fishing” isn’t more popular and unfortunately it is not enough for them to get over a Colorado based bike company but we were 1 away from getting a bigfoot video instead! Stupid capitalism Colorado crushes Sarasota.
vs
Baltimore video: Antoine Myers - Baltimore Hawks
1.3k views
Chicago video: Chicago's Best Markets: Paulina Meat Market
47k views
Result: These games are becoming more and more blowouts as Chicago will dominate Baltimore. I do want to shoutout Antoine Myers who in the minute of watching the video has some nice handles and apparently played for Troy Univeristy before going overseas and playing in Germany so shoutout to him.
vs
New Orleans video: New Orleans Second Lines
422k
Honarable mention: This Is Secondline Sunday in New Orleans (The Official 2018 - 2019 Wrap Up)
Orange County video: Season 8 - ASFC FINALS - New Orleans Second Line @ Orange County Otters
8 views
Result: The trend of pure domination continues as New Orleans pounds the Otters into dust but there is a bigger picture here. First of all, shout out to Orange County for being the second team to feature in the youtube results but second what in the world was that music in the video? If you want some real music check out the honorable mention I posted which was the second result for the second line. As they say in the video “Issavibe” (am I allowed to say that?) anyway while the first second line video is a nice overview the second feels truly authentic and honestly looks like an incredibly solid video.
vs
Arizona video: 1985 USFL Arizona Outlaws Commercial
2.3k views
San Jose video: 2015 National Conference Championship Arizona Rattlers at San Jose SaberCats
18k views
Result: What a boring final matchup. San Jose get the win but wow two lame representatives for their teams.
Week 10 Hall of Fame Game
Hall of famers are the backbone of a team's past and future. They can bring in new players and bring a franchise to life which is why having hall of famers on your team both past and present is crucial. Today we will look at the hall of famers of the ISFL. Whichever team has the most hall of famers retired under their name will be victorious. THIS INCLUDES GMS and I don’t care if the franchises haven’t been around the same amount of time. GIT GUD.
vs
Orange County Hall of Famers: 20
Arizona Hall of Famers: 21
Result: Arizona in a nail biter. I feel bad for Orange County who got a tough matchup as they are one of the most storied franchises but going against Arizona in this type of game is a lost cause.
vs
Colorado Hall of Famers: 15
Berlin Hall of Famers: 5
Result: Colorado take the cake and eat it too
vs
Baltimore Hall of Famers: 15
New York Hall of Famers: 6
Result: A respectable effort from New York but yeah Baltimore was always going to win this one.
vs
Yellowknife Hall of Famers: 22
Sarasota Hall of Famers: 10
Result: Yellowknife has the most hall of famers so Sarasota was never going to win but it was a solid attempt and should be a better battle than you may expect
vs
Chicago Hall of Famers: 4
Cape Town Hall of Famers: 7*
Result: Yes I am including the Liberty in Cape Town’s Hall of Famer count (Cape Town actually has none). Should they be counted is up for debate but I make the rules here and that is my ruling. Cape Town win via shenanigans.
vs
Honolulu Hall of Famers: 6
San Jose Hall of Famers: 8
Result: San Jose almost gets embarrassed but saves themselves. Like seriously, Honolulu has been around for 22 fewer seasons and the Sabercats only have two more than them? And they aren’t even in double digits? Come on San Jose what are you doing?
vs
New Orleans Hall of Famers: 16*
Austin Hall of Famers: 5
Result: Yes I included the 1 Legion member that made the Hall of Fame with New Orleans. It doesn’t matter. They win against a team that should realistically have more hall of famers than they do. Like seriously you’ve been around long enough what the hell are you doing Austin?
The Drawing Board
Week 8 Picks
Week 9 Picks
Week 10 Picks
Real Standings After Week 7
ASFC
NSFC
Last Weeks Results: 9-12
Total Results: 27-22
Standings Differential Through Week 10 (actual in Parenthesis)
ASFC
- San Jose Sabercats: 5-2 (5-2)
- Orange County Otters: 5-2 (3-4)
- Arizona Outlaws: 4-3 (4-3)
- Honolulu Hahalua: 4-3 (2-5)
- New York Silverbacks: 4-3 (1-6)
- Austin Copperheads: 2-5 (1-6)
- New Orleans Second Line: 2-5 (6-1)
NSFC
- Yellowknife Wraiths: 5-2 (4-3)
- Cape Town Crash: 4-3 (5-2)
- Colorado Yeti: 4-3 (0-7)
- Berlin Fire Salamanders: 3-4 (2-5)
- Chicago Butchers: 3-4 (7-0)
- Baltimore Hawks: 2-5 (5-2)
- Sarasota Sailfish: 2-5 (4-3)
Week 8: Word Count
As a media writer, word count is everything which is why the bigger the name the more powerful the team is likely to become. So for week 8 predictions the more letters the better chance of winning. It’s not a prediction, it’s a fact.
vs
Chicago letter count: 15
New Orleans letter count: 20
Result: New Orleans comes in strong with 20 letters in their name and while Chicago’s 15 is not bad it isn’t nearly the number needed to compete
vs
Baltimore letter count: 14
San Jose: 16
Result: Just about as close a game as you would expect from these two powerhouses but San Jose will come out on top.
vs
Cape Town letter count: 13
Honolulu letter count: 15
Result: Another close game and this one ends in a stunning victory for the Hahalua as they take down the Cape Town Crash
vs
Yellowknife letter count: 18
Arizona letter count: 14
Result: A relatively close game will get away from Arizona in the end as Yellowknife will chug along while Arizona’s letters will run out.
vs
Berlin letter count: 17
Orange County letter count: 18
Result: By the narrowest of margins that extra Otter will do the trick as the Otters defeat the Salamanders
vs
Sarasota letter count: 16
Austin letter count: 17
Result: Two nailbiters in a row and this time the extra Copperhead gets the job done over the Sailfish that wish they were the Sailfishies right now
vs
Colorado letter count: 12
New York letter count: 18
Result: A dominant victory for the Silverbacks as the shorthanded Yeti give up before the second half even begins
Week 9: What’s Going on Youtube….
Youtube is the home of our wonderful game of the ISFL and if teams want to get noticed they should situate their team in a place where fans are going to be drawn to. Marketing campaigns are crucial to the success of a location which is why I went into incognito mode and searched every team name. I then chose the first result and the most viewed video was the winner.
vs
Berlin video: Nocturnal wanderer: The fire salamander
103k views
Honolulu video: Top 8 Things to Do in Honolulu, Hawaii
212k views
Result: Interestingly the search seems to have completely ignored the “hahalua” aspect of Honolulu Hahalua which has worked out in Honolulu’s favor. I won’t be watching any of these videos but a nature documentary on Fire Salamanders does sound interesting a shame they get an L here
vs
Austin video: Copperheads, Rattlesnakes and Kingsnakes | Junkyard Adventures in Austin Texas
340 views
New York video: 2021-07-14 New York Silverbacks 1 - Larchmont Wildcats 6
57 views
Result: This is what I was expecting when I decided to use youtube for my predictions. Small unknown videos coming up to represent these teams. The first video is made by a fairly committed vlogger who goes to all sorts of snake related attractions. 3 videos down from that video is a 7 million viewed video of a man getting bit by a rattlesnake so that’s exciting. But it doesn’t matter because the 14U New York Silverbacks bring in a measly 57 views that seem almost too personal to put on here and yet here it is. Austin wins a low scoring affair.
vs
Cape Town video: VIDEO: New footage shows devastation after Cape Town N1 high speed crash
235k views
Yellowknife video: Season 8 - NSFC FINALS - Baltimore Hawks @ Yellowknife Wraiths
3 views
Result: Before I get to the elephant in the room I want to mention that first, Cape Town’s result was going to be obvious and second, no the driver did not die but he did lose both his legs and the passenger lost a finger. Now that that has been said I wish I could give the Yellowknife Wraiths bonus points for coming up as the number 1 search result but alas that is not how the game is played and instead Cape Town will slaughter the Wraiths
vs
Sarasota video: Sarasota Sailfish 6:3:17
140 views
Colorado Yeti video: ColoRADo
90k views
Result: smellyfrogfinger 9110 can’t believe “2 Brothers Fishing” isn’t more popular and unfortunately it is not enough for them to get over a Colorado based bike company but we were 1 away from getting a bigfoot video instead! Stupid capitalism Colorado crushes Sarasota.
vs
Baltimore video: Antoine Myers - Baltimore Hawks
1.3k views
Chicago video: Chicago's Best Markets: Paulina Meat Market
47k views
Result: These games are becoming more and more blowouts as Chicago will dominate Baltimore. I do want to shoutout Antoine Myers who in the minute of watching the video has some nice handles and apparently played for Troy Univeristy before going overseas and playing in Germany so shoutout to him.
vs
New Orleans video: New Orleans Second Lines
422k
Honarable mention: This Is Secondline Sunday in New Orleans (The Official 2018 - 2019 Wrap Up)
Orange County video: Season 8 - ASFC FINALS - New Orleans Second Line @ Orange County Otters
8 views
Result: The trend of pure domination continues as New Orleans pounds the Otters into dust but there is a bigger picture here. First of all, shout out to Orange County for being the second team to feature in the youtube results but second what in the world was that music in the video? If you want some real music check out the honorable mention I posted which was the second result for the second line. As they say in the video “Issavibe” (am I allowed to say that?) anyway while the first second line video is a nice overview the second feels truly authentic and honestly looks like an incredibly solid video.
vs
Arizona video: 1985 USFL Arizona Outlaws Commercial
2.3k views
San Jose video: 2015 National Conference Championship Arizona Rattlers at San Jose SaberCats
18k views
Result: What a boring final matchup. San Jose get the win but wow two lame representatives for their teams.
Week 10 Hall of Fame Game
Hall of famers are the backbone of a team's past and future. They can bring in new players and bring a franchise to life which is why having hall of famers on your team both past and present is crucial. Today we will look at the hall of famers of the ISFL. Whichever team has the most hall of famers retired under their name will be victorious. THIS INCLUDES GMS and I don’t care if the franchises haven’t been around the same amount of time. GIT GUD.
vs
Orange County Hall of Famers: 20
Arizona Hall of Famers: 21
Result: Arizona in a nail biter. I feel bad for Orange County who got a tough matchup as they are one of the most storied franchises but going against Arizona in this type of game is a lost cause.
vs
Colorado Hall of Famers: 15
Berlin Hall of Famers: 5
Result: Colorado take the cake and eat it too
vs
Baltimore Hall of Famers: 15
New York Hall of Famers: 6
Result: A respectable effort from New York but yeah Baltimore was always going to win this one.
vs
Yellowknife Hall of Famers: 22
Sarasota Hall of Famers: 10
Result: Yellowknife has the most hall of famers so Sarasota was never going to win but it was a solid attempt and should be a better battle than you may expect
vs
Chicago Hall of Famers: 4
Cape Town Hall of Famers: 7*
Result: Yes I am including the Liberty in Cape Town’s Hall of Famer count (Cape Town actually has none). Should they be counted is up for debate but I make the rules here and that is my ruling. Cape Town win via shenanigans.
vs
Honolulu Hall of Famers: 6
San Jose Hall of Famers: 8
Result: San Jose almost gets embarrassed but saves themselves. Like seriously, Honolulu has been around for 22 fewer seasons and the Sabercats only have two more than them? And they aren’t even in double digits? Come on San Jose what are you doing?
vs
New Orleans Hall of Famers: 16*
Austin Hall of Famers: 5
Result: Yes I included the 1 Legion member that made the Hall of Fame with New Orleans. It doesn’t matter. They win against a team that should realistically have more hall of famers than they do. Like seriously you’ve been around long enough what the hell are you doing Austin?
The Drawing Board
Week 8 Picks
Week 9 Picks
Week 10 Picks
Real Standings After Week 7
ASFC
- San Jose Sabercats: 8-2
- Honolulu Hahalua: 6-4
- Orange County Otters: 6-4
- Arizona Outlaws: 5-5
- New Orleans Second Line: 5-5
- New York Silverbacks: 5-5
- Austin Copperheads: 4-6
NSFC
- Yellowknife Wraiths: 7-3
- Cape Town Crash: 6-4
- Colorado Yeti: 6-4
- Chicago Butchers: 4-6
- Baltimore Hawks: 3-7
- Berlin Fire Salamanders: 3-7
- Sarasota Sailfish: 2-8
Howdy! I am responsible for quite possibly the greatest kicker to ever grace the ISFL and am the most accomplished media writer the ISFL has ever seen (no need to ask anyone else regarding either of those claims)
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