07-21-2024, 06:31 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2024, 10:18 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 1 time in total.)
Previously, on Redemption Road with jreed12…
Berlin deceived! In a shocking upheaval, the Fire Salamanders were ROBBED of a rightful victory due to shot clock cheese!
Outbreak of polls in the Discord! Users have been spreading FAKE news using the dreaded polls, including some SLANDEROUS votes against the “Daloose Bumdogs” ahead of the new and improved Bird Dogs season debut.
Week 1 results are in! As Jreed finishes up his first regular season game as a GM, how will the Dogs fare against the high powered defending champs in the Tijuana Luchadores?
Read about all of this and more in…
Before I dive into the meat of my media, I would like to give a shoutout to user @Bigred1580, who is not only an outstanding player, but has contributed a lot to the Dallas Bird Dogs by keeping our locker room lively and putting out absolutely incredible signatures for every member of our team, including me.
There aren’t a large amount of topics to cover today however I need more money so let’s jump right in. I’m very bummed I haven’t had the time to churn out indelibly profitable brain rot heartwarming media content recently. The real Jreed, not the money hungry narcissist that shitposts on a football forum, has been moving houses and it has taken quite a toll! So much so that I have barely had time to even keep up with the media or the happenings in the ISFL chats—that is, save for one, rather tremendous occurrence.
As you may remember, reader, I gave a STERN and harrowing warning to Zenzeroni @lock180 to not push the red button and get on my bad side. Of course, he decided to take my warning, crumple it up in a ball, and throw it right in the TRASH, writing yet another FAKE and WEAK tirade about how Jreed is the biggest FAILURE the ISFL has ever known. I present to you: An Ode to the Biggest Failure in ISFL History, by Zenzeroni Xystarch II. And of course Zenzeroni, in his cunning ways, decided to time his weak media directly with when I was moving, so it would be difficult for me to retaliate in a timely manner! The lows he will stoop to knows no bounds...
While this smorgasbord of incorrigible slime will NOT stand uncontested, I am not going to retort in this current media series. But just know, reader, that a response will be coming. And I will spare no expense, there is no corner on this earth where the facts will hide from me, in order to get even with my DIABOLICAL nemesis.
However, it would appear that the third-smartest user in the ISFL (behind myself and scientific laureate and wunderkind McGriddy) came quickly to my defense, pointing out some irrefutable FACTS that the devious Zenzeroni wittingly decided to LEAVE OUT of his grand tirade.
Thank you, @"Bamford13"! I noticed that the pomeranian himself has placed naming rights to his Forum name up for auction for the ISFL Charity Drive, and if anybody changes my dear friend’s name to Bumford, mark my words, I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth.
Speaking of which, I ought to use my platform to plug for the ISFL Charity Drive, which is supporting some wonderful causes (see Zenzeroni, would a true villain go out of his way to support CHARITY???). You can find the forum post here: https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...?tid=52397
In other news, I inquired with the Wizard about when we would be finally engaging in the ultimate meeting of the minds on his podcast, and I got the closest thing to a confirmation I have had thus far.
I think it’s about time to eat a bit of crow about the Wizard, though, and point out something that he did a stupendous job of doing. May I present to you, reader, one of the finest point tasks that has ever been brought to light. May I present to you: S49 Point Task 1, in which the Wizard asks users to write a bit about their origin story.
This, of course, drew the significant ire of one Zenzeroni Xystarch II, who raised qualms about the fact that he wrote an entire 60,000 word, 56-chapter book about the origins of his player just last season. Now this, reader, I find to be absolutely comical.
But, as for the most important story of the day, THE DALLAS BIRD DOGS ARE CURRENTLY UNDEFEATED!!!!! We managed to prove the HATERS wrong and DETHRONE the evil empire of Tijuana!! Well, my only real grief with them is that incredibly stinky dancing Luchadore gif that I see pasted on every channel of the Discord, but that’s enough reason to have grief with a team nonetheless. What a glorious day it was, as I have continued to ride the high of that incredible victory all weekend.
You might be asking—Dallas, how did you pull off such an upset? The media/the talking heads in the Discord told me that Dallas was going to be terrible. Isn’t your defense still incredibly stinky?
I will admit, TIJ did lose quite a bit of talent and is a softer team than we saw in last season’s Ultimini, but they are still the consensus force to be reckoned with in the South. However, I do think the South as a whole is going to be a lot more of a crapshoot than people (besides me) initially thought. Outside of Bondi, which has the lowest TPE on both sides of the ball by a margin (and has The Whovian’s greatness and wisdom neutralized by Triceracop’s stink), you have what I consider to be three fairly evenly matched teams. TIJ is still the defending champion with a lot of talent and leadership, and NOR is well-managed and had an impressive draft. And then, there’s the dark horse.
A few things you should know about the new and improved Dogs, since you clearly weren’t taking us seriously before.
Oh, and to top it off, that O-line I mentioned just got even more powerful, by adding a whopping third human offensive lineman to go alongside Drap and Chunky Campbell Soup. Who is this new figure, you might ask? Oh, just a little known user called NUMBERS. A S2 hall of famer, perhaps you’ve heard of them?
I’m not here to be a homer and say that the Bird Dogs are suddenly headed to the Mini, but I do want to put respect on my squad’s name where respect is due and drum up excitement for these week 2 and 3 matchups against NOR and POR. I want to shoutout everyone on this team for being badass and for the amazing morale we have already built after just one game. Go Dogs!!!!!
That’s all for this time, and I look forward to seeing what the next week of DSFL games will bring. As always, thank you very much for reading.
Jreed12
#SeeYouInS50
@wetwilleh Willeh Ping.
Berlin deceived! In a shocking upheaval, the Fire Salamanders were ROBBED of a rightful victory due to shot clock cheese!
Outbreak of polls in the Discord! Users have been spreading FAKE news using the dreaded polls, including some SLANDEROUS votes against the “Daloose Bumdogs” ahead of the new and improved Bird Dogs season debut.
Week 1 results are in! As Jreed finishes up his first regular season game as a GM, how will the Dogs fare against the high powered defending champs in the Tijuana Luchadores?
Read about all of this and more in…
Before I dive into the meat of my media, I would like to give a shoutout to user @Bigred1580, who is not only an outstanding player, but has contributed a lot to the Dallas Bird Dogs by keeping our locker room lively and putting out absolutely incredible signatures for every member of our team, including me.
There aren’t a large amount of topics to cover today however I need more money so let’s jump right in. I’m very bummed I haven’t had the time to churn out indelibly profitable brain rot heartwarming media content recently. The real Jreed, not the money hungry narcissist that shitposts on a football forum, has been moving houses and it has taken quite a toll! So much so that I have barely had time to even keep up with the media or the happenings in the ISFL chats—that is, save for one, rather tremendous occurrence.
As you may remember, reader, I gave a STERN and harrowing warning to Zenzeroni @lock180 to not push the red button and get on my bad side. Of course, he decided to take my warning, crumple it up in a ball, and throw it right in the TRASH, writing yet another FAKE and WEAK tirade about how Jreed is the biggest FAILURE the ISFL has ever known. I present to you: An Ode to the Biggest Failure in ISFL History, by Zenzeroni Xystarch II. And of course Zenzeroni, in his cunning ways, decided to time his weak media directly with when I was moving, so it would be difficult for me to retaliate in a timely manner! The lows he will stoop to knows no bounds...
While this smorgasbord of incorrigible slime will NOT stand uncontested, I am not going to retort in this current media series. But just know, reader, that a response will be coming. And I will spare no expense, there is no corner on this earth where the facts will hide from me, in order to get even with my DIABOLICAL nemesis.
However, it would appear that the third-smartest user in the ISFL (behind myself and scientific laureate and wunderkind McGriddy) came quickly to my defense, pointing out some irrefutable FACTS that the devious Zenzeroni wittingly decided to LEAVE OUT of his grand tirade.
Thank you, @"Bamford13"! I noticed that the pomeranian himself has placed naming rights to his Forum name up for auction for the ISFL Charity Drive, and if anybody changes my dear friend’s name to Bumford, mark my words, I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth.
Speaking of which, I ought to use my platform to plug for the ISFL Charity Drive, which is supporting some wonderful causes (see Zenzeroni, would a true villain go out of his way to support CHARITY???). You can find the forum post here: https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...?tid=52397
In other news, I inquired with the Wizard about when we would be finally engaging in the ultimate meeting of the minds on his podcast, and I got the closest thing to a confirmation I have had thus far.
I think it’s about time to eat a bit of crow about the Wizard, though, and point out something that he did a stupendous job of doing. May I present to you, reader, one of the finest point tasks that has ever been brought to light. May I present to you: S49 Point Task 1, in which the Wizard asks users to write a bit about their origin story.
This, of course, drew the significant ire of one Zenzeroni Xystarch II, who raised qualms about the fact that he wrote an entire 60,000 word, 56-chapter book about the origins of his player just last season. Now this, reader, I find to be absolutely comical.
But, as for the most important story of the day, THE DALLAS BIRD DOGS ARE CURRENTLY UNDEFEATED!!!!! We managed to prove the HATERS wrong and DETHRONE the evil empire of Tijuana!! Well, my only real grief with them is that incredibly stinky dancing Luchadore gif that I see pasted on every channel of the Discord, but that’s enough reason to have grief with a team nonetheless. What a glorious day it was, as I have continued to ride the high of that incredible victory all weekend.
You might be asking—Dallas, how did you pull off such an upset? The media/the talking heads in the Discord told me that Dallas was going to be terrible. Isn’t your defense still incredibly stinky?
I will admit, TIJ did lose quite a bit of talent and is a softer team than we saw in last season’s Ultimini, but they are still the consensus force to be reckoned with in the South. However, I do think the South as a whole is going to be a lot more of a crapshoot than people (besides me) initially thought. Outside of Bondi, which has the lowest TPE on both sides of the ball by a margin (and has The Whovian’s greatness and wisdom neutralized by Triceracop’s stink), you have what I consider to be three fairly evenly matched teams. TIJ is still the defending champion with a lot of talent and leadership, and NOR is well-managed and had an impressive draft. And then, there’s the dark horse.
A few things you should know about the new and improved Dogs, since you clearly weren’t taking us seriously before.
- Our QB, Zack Vega, is manned by @WALDO, a DAL legend who is currently maxed. He pitched a decent game, but 9.3 yards per completion and zero turnovers to secure the win was a solid opener.
- One of our new-create draftees at WR, Otis Bordeaux, Jr. @Otis B, has already made a stunning name for themselves, recording 141 yards on 5 receptions and a touchdown.
- Legacy user @slate has already cracked 180 TPE and recorded a WHOPPING statline as our anchor linebacker: 15 tackles, 2 sacks, and a pass defended.
- Our first overall pick, Akane Saruta @Megsychan, also had a solid game, with the second most tackles and a pass defended. And that was all before her big update.
- Our offensive line allowed zero (0) sacks in Week 1, but @TheDrapFather served EIGHT pancakes. Yet, our defense notched five sacks on TIJ.
Oh, and to top it off, that O-line I mentioned just got even more powerful, by adding a whopping third human offensive lineman to go alongside Drap and Chunky Campbell Soup. Who is this new figure, you might ask? Oh, just a little known user called NUMBERS. A S2 hall of famer, perhaps you’ve heard of them?
I’m not here to be a homer and say that the Bird Dogs are suddenly headed to the Mini, but I do want to put respect on my squad’s name where respect is due and drum up excitement for these week 2 and 3 matchups against NOR and POR. I want to shoutout everyone on this team for being badass and for the amazing morale we have already built after just one game. Go Dogs!!!!!
That’s all for this time, and I look forward to seeing what the next week of DSFL games will bring. As always, thank you very much for reading.
Jreed12
#SeeYouInS50
@wetwilleh Willeh Ping.
S46 GEMINI WINNER - BEST ARTICLE (SERIES)
S47 GEMINI WINNER - BEST ARTICLE (SERIES)
Read the 2x Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror!