03-19-2024, 05:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-20-2024, 01:46 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 5 times in total.)
Daily Prophet #5
By Rita Skeeter
Draft Day featuring Kevin Costner
The Season 47 class has seen loads of excitement and turmoil in an eventful first season as the Hec HO movement reached extraordinary heights, rookies became the best yappers around and Arizona and Dallas brought home the hardware. All in all the culmination of season 46 and these tales of yesteryear have led to one moment…the Season 47 draft and Rita was there to take it all in.
Tails from the Draft
Once @IceBear32 finally got around to picking, he made his choice in star Golden Receiver @Brad Woof, who became the first Golden Retriever to be selected 1OA. While many of the muggle community were shocked by the selection, this onlooker was not surprised. The golden retriever is a sacred being in the Wizarding world and is the wisest of the Dog community. Brad could clearly not contain his excitement as his entire body was writhing around in ecstasy. Icebear gave him a beggin’ strip, a boop on the nose and a “good boi” before sending him off stage left. He then followed the first overall pick by selecting a microscopic mouse cornerback, who I cannot recall the name of, because the boos from the crowd were deafening.
Prophecy Fulfilled, As It Was Written
As a boy, Tim Riggins and his family were vacationing in the Himalayan mountains to visit the famed Tibetan Dragon Festival. In the confusion of the celebration, Riggins slipped away from his family and became lost in the wilderness. He wandered for a day before stumbling upon a Nyalmo tribe of Yeti. The tribe was caught off guard by the boy and were only placated once they realized he was also a Wizard. Muggles have never interacted with the Yeti world, but Wizards and Yetis have gotten along for centuries. Yetis are notoriously brilliant, as they are famous for their advancements in theoretical physics and advanced mathematics.
While Tim, don’t do math too good, the Yeti tribe was kind to him and he was even approached by the Yeti tribe’s shaman, who foresaw something in him. Riggins tells me that, “the Yeti Shaman took my hand and I saw vision of the Colorado Rockies, Birkenstocks, and crowded ski resorts”. Tim then claims that the Yeti looked him in the eye and said, “you will be one of us one day, as it was written, you will be the Lisan Al Yeti” Tim never understood the prophecy until the glorious moment where he was made a Yeti after all.
Maintenance Required
While there was much reason to be excited, there was also travesty in the wake of the draft for the Chicago Butchers. Darling DSFL Drop Machine @JJ5 was selected by the Butchers at 7th overall, an exciting moment for all until JJ refused to go up to the podium. He was abstaining and in a moment of true stubbornness, he super-glued himself to his chair and could be seen screaming “I want poke, deep dish pizza sucks and the only thing worse is Chicago’s weather”. Strong words from the rookie, who then called the Chicago owner a KGB sleeper agent and a lizard person. The crowd was visibly frightened by the borderline insane rookie.
In an attempt to placate the crazed What, Honolulu GM and beer fanatic, @IceBear32 , swooped in to take him off the Butchers block. When he was finally able to calm JJ, he used his home brewed IPA, called the HazyBear, to remove him from the chair and into his loving arms. Will these bouts of psychotic outbreak continue for JJ? Or will the warm shores of Hawaii soothe the crazed rookie? Only time will tell and Rita will be there to report.
By Rita Skeeter
Draft Day featuring Kevin Costner
The Season 47 class has seen loads of excitement and turmoil in an eventful first season as the Hec HO movement reached extraordinary heights, rookies became the best yappers around and Arizona and Dallas brought home the hardware. All in all the culmination of season 46 and these tales of yesteryear have led to one moment…the Season 47 draft and Rita was there to take it all in.
Tails from the Draft
Once @IceBear32 finally got around to picking, he made his choice in star Golden Receiver @Brad Woof, who became the first Golden Retriever to be selected 1OA. While many of the muggle community were shocked by the selection, this onlooker was not surprised. The golden retriever is a sacred being in the Wizarding world and is the wisest of the Dog community. Brad could clearly not contain his excitement as his entire body was writhing around in ecstasy. Icebear gave him a beggin’ strip, a boop on the nose and a “good boi” before sending him off stage left. He then followed the first overall pick by selecting a microscopic mouse cornerback, who I cannot recall the name of, because the boos from the crowd were deafening.
Prophecy Fulfilled, As It Was Written
As a boy, Tim Riggins and his family were vacationing in the Himalayan mountains to visit the famed Tibetan Dragon Festival. In the confusion of the celebration, Riggins slipped away from his family and became lost in the wilderness. He wandered for a day before stumbling upon a Nyalmo tribe of Yeti. The tribe was caught off guard by the boy and were only placated once they realized he was also a Wizard. Muggles have never interacted with the Yeti world, but Wizards and Yetis have gotten along for centuries. Yetis are notoriously brilliant, as they are famous for their advancements in theoretical physics and advanced mathematics.
While Tim, don’t do math too good, the Yeti tribe was kind to him and he was even approached by the Yeti tribe’s shaman, who foresaw something in him. Riggins tells me that, “the Yeti Shaman took my hand and I saw vision of the Colorado Rockies, Birkenstocks, and crowded ski resorts”. Tim then claims that the Yeti looked him in the eye and said, “you will be one of us one day, as it was written, you will be the Lisan Al Yeti” Tim never understood the prophecy until the glorious moment where he was made a Yeti after all.
Maintenance Required
While there was much reason to be excited, there was also travesty in the wake of the draft for the Chicago Butchers. Darling DSFL Drop Machine @JJ5 was selected by the Butchers at 7th overall, an exciting moment for all until JJ refused to go up to the podium. He was abstaining and in a moment of true stubbornness, he super-glued himself to his chair and could be seen screaming “I want poke, deep dish pizza sucks and the only thing worse is Chicago’s weather”. Strong words from the rookie, who then called the Chicago owner a KGB sleeper agent and a lizard person. The crowd was visibly frightened by the borderline insane rookie.
In an attempt to placate the crazed What, Honolulu GM and beer fanatic, @IceBear32 , swooped in to take him off the Butchers block. When he was finally able to calm JJ, he used his home brewed IPA, called the HazyBear, to remove him from the chair and into his loving arms. Will these bouts of psychotic outbreak continue for JJ? Or will the warm shores of Hawaii soothe the crazed rookie? Only time will tell and Rita will be there to report.